RE: bigest fear

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RE: bigest fear - 1/25/2006 5:33:11 PM

Arpig

Posts: 391
Joined: 1/3/2006
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The purpose of a safe word is not to control the situation, but to let the Dom/me know that the situation has gotten to intense, or to painful, or that something has gone wrong (trouble breathing, or hands going numb, etc.).
They are there for the protection of both parties, to ensure that things do not get out of hand, and that nobody is really harmed.
To me a safe wordis a sign to stop, and to see what the problem is. It might require the end of the scene, or it might just mean I need to adjust the ropes a little and then can carry on with whatever I was doing. But what it always means is "Stop, something is wrong!!"

_____________________________

Whenever I think about you
And all the things we could do
A touch of lace, a taste of leather
And I do so love you
Life is never what it seems
And love comes on us all unseen
So I dance upon your tether
Your kiss will set me free
~MvD

(in reply to IceyOne)

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RE: bigest fear - 1/25/2006 11:25:38 PM

classykindasassy

Posts: 89
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

Merc n beth said it all.

I have heard it said at a play party "Ouch is not a safeword, and wasn't meant to be".

And, if ever I had a dom who did not respect my safeword, God help him after I got loose. I'm not a WUSS with it and communication is everything.

If you don't take care of yourself, you can't expect anyone else to. Getting clear on your limits and safewords is essential. And I don't recommend getting drunk or doing drugs if you are not up on this.

I am not one to tell someone what to do or think, but I would feel that being a virgin and trying to learn your way around this BDSM world would not be a good idea all at one time. It might work better if you learned your way around sex first. Then you would have some knowledge of what it is to let someone that close, you would know more of your own limits and desires.

It is just a suggestion. I have seen a lot of life at age 42. At 20, even NOT a virgin, I could not have imagined this world. You have time. Take it.

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to IceyOne)

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RE: bigest fear - 1/26/2006 3:27:24 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 654
Joined: 11/7/2004
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Ive never had a safe word myself, but have never played with anyone other than my Master of former owners, and never needed one . He can tell what i am feeling by body signs, or sounds.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

I'll add my voice to Icey, Alby, and Little1: Safe words are inviolate. It's the safety belt in BDSM.

(in reply to Petruchio)

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Post #: 23

RE: bigest fear - 1/26/2006 7:44:54 AM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 248
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

I personally have not use the safe word with my Dragon. But I know that this does happen... I know a couple slaves whose Masters just used them as punching bags, not for anything else.

Make sure that you and the potentional Dom/me discuss all of your limits and that you are comfortable that they will respect your safe word.

1st Girl Phoenix

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**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to subnoconas)

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RE: bigest fear - 1/26/2006 10:23:05 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 189
Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subnoconas

thank you and yes i understand copletly the valuw of the safe word i guss i just have a very bad case of nervse

Its okay to be nervous.I still get that way.If you werent I might be worried about your safety.
I have to agree the safe word is only as good as the Dom/me that respects it.
I have on occasion with consent of the submissive, pushed them to say it.

Trust your gut and you cant go wrong but if you do,Dont hate yourself for it.

"We are our own worst enemy" is something I truly believe.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to subnoconas)

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RE: bigest fear - 1/26/2006 10:32:24 AM

subnoconas

Posts: 39
Joined: 1/23/2006
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thank you mistress and thank you all for your wisdom

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"as the wheels of time trun my love will still stand furm"

"Forever is not as long as you might think. Sometimes, it's just until she changes her mind again."

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

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Post #: 26

RE: bigest fear - 1/26/2006 11:08:39 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 189
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subnoconas

thank you mistress and thank you all for your wisdom

your welcome.
you'll get there,just be patient.
Rushing things leaves room for mistakes.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to subnoconas)

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Post #: 27