RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It

RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (Full Version)

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brightspot -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/10/2006 6:27:20 PM)
quote: In your view does a Dominant have to earn their dominance? Is it enough for her/him to simply declare themselves as dominant and therefore worthy of obedience and respect? Or must they prove themselves, in your eyes? Speaking generally, like on these boards, it really doesn't matter that much if people "truly" are what they speak to be. But I at this time am not pursuing anyone either. That would be different and yes there would have to be some "proving". Now in my real life, it matters to me when this Dom/Domina is going to be interacting with me on a consistant basis, then if they wanted my respect as the Dom/Domina they claim to be, yes, they would have to prove it to me in their behaviors and personalities that they deserve that respect from me, when this happens I gracefully give them the respect and honor that in my heart and our relationship they deserve. *Brightspot

IronBear -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/10/2006 6:39:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gbgirlz2003 Sir? PLEEEEZ. Those titles are conferred on a person by the Royal family of a particular country; how many do you think there are? A Lord is a well-propertied land holder in some countries...not the USA. <<<<<<<<snip>>>>>>>>>>>> Sirs and Lords? Send me a copy of you knighting certificate or the title to your estate. I tend to agree with you here. depending on the country, I just pick up the phone and get the pedegree of most titled persons who I may meet. Here in good old Aussie, titles dont hold a heap of water with the majority of people. However on the occasions when I do have to attend a function then correct titles are used (which title or honourific used will depend on the occasion and what is required by protocol). However, the use of Sir in conversation with people is also customary. If one is being very formal it may be used if conversing with a person of whom you have enormous respect or you are actually dressing down some idiot at a formal function (I.E Ripping him a new arsehole ~ E.G.: "You sir, are a bloody great fool. I must ask you, knowing you most esteamed parents as I do, if you were indeed adopted and your birth parents were knuckle dragging, peanut eating quadrupeds?" ).

cloudboy -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/10/2006 8:58:07 PM)
You don't ask a writer if he's a great author, you ask the readers. Likewise the "realness" of the Domme depends entirely on how she is received by her submissive or submissives. A Sartre postulated in BEING IN NOTHINGNESS, we are defined by others. We are not self defining. So yes, everyone must earn their status. This is a truism across the board.

veronicaofML -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/10/2006 9:12:34 PM)
Well, for what its worth, here is my 2 cents worth (I am Canadian, so it will only be worth 1.71 cents for you Americans ).... I am dominant. That entitles me to exactly as much respect from anybody else as my saying I am a brunette, or I am right handed. ---------- I wish more had YOUR wisdom.

OscarHargraves -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/10/2006 9:16:57 PM)
I think MD44 has it right. EVERYONE deserves respect until such time as they show me they are not worthy of it. I respect the Slave as much as the Master. I respect the Sub as much as the Dom(me). I don't feel I have to 'prove' myself to anyone and I don't expect any more of others. I DO expect courtesy and respect from those that I deal with or form relationships with (this includes friends, 'pen pals', and even on-line acquaintances).

veronicaofML -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/10/2006 9:22:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves I think MD44 has it right. EVERYONE deserves respect until such time as they show me they are not worthy of it. I respect the Slave as much as the Master. I respect the Sub as much as the Dom(me). I don't feel I have to 'prove' myself to anyone and I don't expect any more of others. I DO expect courtesy and respect from those that I deal with or form relationships with (this includes friends, 'pen pals', and even on-line acquaintances). =========== and even on-line acquaintances). -- ****yeah but YOU are such a sweetheart...it's easy being nice to YOU........

amayos -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/10/2006 9:33:47 PM)
This depends entirely on the SOP of the dominant, in my opinion. If they demand obedience and respect from the very beginning (as I do), then it is right for a seeking submissive to give that respect and obedience. Does a dominant have to earn their dominance? I certainly do not. I know what I am, and if a prospective submissive can't read between the lines, they are more than free to go. It is their right to go, and mine to remain what I am. I have nothing to prove.

Wolfie648 -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/10/2006 11:47:02 PM)
quote: In your view does a Dominant have to earn their dominance? Should the submissve (he/she/exceptions) put the dominant (he/she/exceptions) through hoops (earn their dominance), should he square dance, should he bowl a 300, should he be able to juggle, should he be able to control a bullwhip to strike within 1/1000th of an inch, should the sub be able to toss a 50lb rock more than 10 feet, take 5,000 hits from a whip, be willing to have anal sex? Thats up to the sub and dom in question. Seems to me at any rate. Everyone puts everyone else through some kind of hoop, filter, earning ritual whether they think they do or not. Examples can be provided if necessary. The more you can define what you are looking for, the fewer are that are available to suite that requirement, but at the same time when you find that person. It's a good thing. (I hope Martha Stewart doesn't sue me for saying that). Perhaps a better question is 'do we fit'? Not: dominant/submissive/slave _for me_ doesn't mean not dominant/submissive/slave _to someone else_. D (owner of j)

ExistentialSteel -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/11/2006 4:16:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Smythe In your view does a Dominant have to earn their dominance? Is it enough for her/him to simply declare themselves as dominant and therefore worthy of obedience and respect? Or must they prove themselves, in your eyes? Smythe If they don't feel that a self-declaration is enough, they can write me and for a small fee, I'll pronounce them Doms. I will give certificates and have an online presentation ceremony. Then they can get all the subs they want. But wait there's more, if you send your money right now, I'll throw in The Master's Handbook which explains how to spot subs in public and, also, the secret handshake only used by true Doms. Hurry and send your fee so you can check Dominant on the CollarMe checklist.

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/11/2006 4:28:29 AM)
Do I get references with that?

ProtagonistLily -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/11/2006 4:28:35 AM)
quote: In your view does a Dominant have to earn their dominance? Is it enough for her/him to simply declare themselves as dominant and therefore worthy of obedience and respect? Or must they prove themselves, in your eyes? Smythe I see Dominance in the same way the Supreme Court quanitfies Pornography. You can't exactly describe it across the board, but you know it when you see it. And what may strike you as Dominant may not strike another person. More than anything, I believe that regardless of how a person identifies themselves, for others, it is subjective. How the personality traits of other people ricochet off of my personal set of traits is what counts. I may react to an individual who identifies themselves a Dominant as a Dominant, but I have also not felt or seen a shread of what I consider dominant in some that self identify so. So in regular, plain English, I feel that what 'proves' someone is how they self identify is subjective. The man or woman in the high priced fetish gear trying to run the show and calling me 'girl' may be blown off for the man or woman in non-fet gear who exudes what I understand as Dominance. Make sense? L

cloudboy -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/11/2006 7:42:04 AM)
>exudes< Bullseye on the word choice.

Saraheli -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/11/2006 3:11:35 PM)
You know, it seems to me that you might just have settled the "What is aREAL dom/sub" question inadvertently...again, just my 2 cents worth (2.8 cents for australians...sorry couldn't resist)

Arpig -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/11/2006 5:32:58 PM)
quote: You know, it seems to me that you might just have settled the "What is aREAL dom/sub" question inadvertently...again, just my 2 cents worth (2.8 cents for australians...sorry couldn't resist) Sorry for any confusion folks....I didn't realise that I hadn't signed her out and signed myself in...ah the tribulations of each having an account

littlesarbonn -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/11/2006 7:08:21 PM)
If she's attractive, knows what she's doing, experienced and interested in me, she can have my obedience and respect right from the beginning.

Smythe -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/11/2006 7:29:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sudja quote: ORIGINAL: Smythe In your view does a Dominant have to earn their dominance? Is it enough for her/him to simply declare themselves as dominant and therefore worthy of obedience and respect? Or must they prove themselves, in your eyes? Smythe For me it's not just about them proving that they're a Dom/me but our personal relationship. As such it doesn't matter whether they fit my personal criteria for a Dom/me. If they're not the person I'm in a relationship with, I don't "obey" them, and they get no more, nor less, courtesy and respect from me than I give any other person. sudja I might argue that if you are in a personal relationship, they have proved themselves to you. If there is no relationship, there is only their claim to be a Dom/me, and that holds no water...rightly so. Smythe

Smythe -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/11/2006 7:31:32 PM)
slipstreme....off topic....Andromeda??? Smythe

Delvin -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/11/2006 7:40:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Smythe In your view does a Dominant have to earn their dominance? Is it enough for her/him to simply declare themselves as dominant and therefore worthy of obedience and respect? Or must they prove themselves, in your eyes? Smythe 1) Being Dominant has nothing to do with what others view but instead is what is inside each of us. Even a bad leader is Dominant regardless of whether they have earned anything to lead. They simple do. Dominant and submissive as the term used to describe Top and bottom within the lifestyle always gets a bit twisted when attempting to define "Dominance". This is a trait in all living things but at no time does any living thing need to earn it, it simple is that way and stays that way for the most part. You either are Dominant or you are submissive. Good or Bad follows right after[;)] 2) Blind obedience is best left to the military and even there it causes catastrophic disasters. Respect is really long gone sadly from both sides of the coin, respect to another human being and respect for titles within the lifestyle. Calling someone Sir or Ma'am is not a crime. Being respectful to someone doesn't hurt a single living soul. Now obedience, well, lets remove the whole onlineism and chat/forums where Doms will demand, subs will obey and all is peachy. NO. There is no need to "Obey" someone you are not serving or even considering to serve, but you can still be respectful. This isn't a Dom thing or a sub thing, we all are guilty of it and some of us keep trying while others somewhere get jaded and say screw it, no need. 3) Prove themselves; Well, I think that is the core of a good 90% of these forums yes? Weed out the fakes, the real, the posers and goofs, the shy and innocent and the new and inexperienced. Let’s separate them all, pile them up and then we can pick and choose from the pile we want. Everyone has worth, yet some will set standards at such a level that not even the most dignified Master could achieve that person’s worth in their eyes. Time is needed to view that person you are considering and time will usually, not always, show people for who they are and the proof is taken care of. Everything is a test on this planet from birth to death and everyone will pass and fail daily. Hopefully some of us will learn and pass more then we fail along the way, but in the end, your own gut feelings and personal wisdom will dictate who is best for you and who you will be obedient to. Sometimes it is hard to accept that it takes time. D

DW1961 -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/11/2006 7:40:28 PM)
It is my opinion that a person should be treated in accordance with what they say they are until their behavior proves otherwise, be it dominant or submissive. Who is to define what a dominant or submissive is except by their words and actions?

Smythe -> RE: The Old-Fashioned Way: Earn It (1/11/2006 7:44:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig In my opinion, a dominant is just a person, and it doesn't mean any more or less to the rest of the world except his/her submissive. I'm wondering what makes a dominant to you, and how you believe/feel he/she should earn the title? M yes I agree with you about that...a person's dominance is only relevant to their submissive. I don't think that the title of Dominant must be earned...I guess anyone can call themselves anything. I am mainly rubbed the wrong way by dominants who want to control others and can't control themselves, who expect responsibility and responsiveness from their submissive and do not demonstrate those traits. That's what I mean about earning respect; by being a role model, and by never demanding more than I, myself, would do. Smythe

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