MHOO314
Posts: 1850
Joined: 9/26/2004
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I finally had quiet time to reflect and internalize what you have written here---the meaning of friendship has hit Me very hard these last months with the life altering things that have happened to us.
As humans, our frailities drive us to a need for community, "peoples that share the same common something"--that weakness often drives us to make bad choices to feel good about ourselves--rash decisions to avoid feeling alone, establishing a thin connection of "acquaintances"--
But I now see friends in a different light than before, true friends--so many that we claimed as such, that we worked at--left us or aren't friends, for we did all the work, we did all to make it a friendship--and there standing just off the garish light were good friends who without thinking "worked at it" as Knight talks about--they were and are there everyday.
It takes only one person to end the relationship, but yet it takes two to have the relationship.”
The second part of this thought is most important in answering these questions. As much as I may admire or appreciate or want another’s friendship, it will not occur without their involvement and equal interest in having the relationship. If I place a higher degree of importance or significance to certain behaviors that someone else demonstrates, I can very easily delude myself that friendship exists when in fact it may only be a shared interest.
This became painfully aware as we worked to rebuild our lives anew this winter--I found that many of the friendships were-- as Knight alluded to--"shared interests", as the interest wanes so goes the friendship-or when times were hard for us and we were seen as vulnerable--we were "forgotten"--and for a time we felt so alone--yet as I mentioned, as the dust settled, we found the true friendships, people that we do indeed love and who love us--they are close, deeply close to us--those that unmentionable could call if needed, those that would defend and protect us--and we would do the very same--
Relationships are built upon not just shared values and ideas but shared experiences that build upon each other. It is my opinion that….. “Cheaply given… is cheaply value”…. I do not give cheaply the term friendship. I expect it to be earned both by myself and my friend. But, I do need to have those friendships…
I have learned some hard lessons this year, the key word is "learned", I look and truly see--I hear and listen and I do not call everyone passing acquaintance--"friend"
Thank you for this post, it has obviously struck home with Me.
_____________________________
"I would rather 30 seconds of something wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." Steel Magnolias
Mistress Hathor
Proud owner of subtoFemDommes--who is known as Her private label in training.
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RE: What is a Lifestyle friendship for you? - 
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