RE: A submissive's perspective

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RE: A submissive's perspective - 12/13/2005 3:26:25 PM

fastlane

Posts: 1386
Joined: 5/26/2005
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lol...nuts sprinkled...now follow me to the Lion's Den.

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RE: A submissive's perspective - 12/13/2005 5:24:58 PM

camigirl

Posts: 42
Joined: 9/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I too have found many frauds on these boards. The one most recently, really stung.

I can sympothise with what your going through right now.
After reading your profile i just wanted to say i used to trust people to easily too but my current job requires me to deal with A LOT of people, the same people on a daily bases and i have come to learn that most people well...pretty much suck. I give people the benefit of the doubt, but there is always doubt. Trust has to be earned.

Best of luck,
camigirl

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You had me at "stay"

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Post #: 22

RE: A submissive's perspective - 12/13/2005 5:38:40 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 334
Joined: 7/29/2005
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These are traits that I would look for in any person that I consider having a significant intimate relationship with, not just a Dominant:

Integrity – This is not just about being honest with me but about being honest with yourself as well. Integrity is also about speaking the truths that are difficult to hear. An honest person can be silent and still remain honest, but a person of integrity will say the things that need to be said even if they may cause pain.

Acceptance – Accepting me for who I am is crucial. I will not change who I am for another person. Very strong domineering people throughout my life have attempted to shape me into their ideal image and have failed. I will be who I am whether you like it or not. I will grow and change because of the interactions I have but it will never be to satisfy someone else’s idea of who I should be.

Courage – Someone who has the courage to be who they are without apology, the courage to look within and find out who they are and to bring that out into their day to day life, the courage to share their weaknesses as well as their strengths and the courage to be vulnerable (I find vulnerability a huge turn-on)

Honor – They have to have similar values and morals that are compatible with mine and have the conviction to stand behind them.

Intelligence – They don’t have to be the smartest person on the planet, but they have to have a love of learning, improving oneself, curiosity about the world. They have to respect and appreciate my intelligence and give me an outlet to express and exercise it.

My Lord has all these traits and then some. He is a man of character and seeks to enhance his strengths. He is not an easy man to love, he has high expectations and is quick to correct that which does not please him, but loving and serving him has significant rewards.

Now what makes my Lord the sexiest thing on the planet… *g*

He has this quality about him, a playfulness, almost glee when he is being true to his inner-sadist. It is probably why I so often end up giggling when he is tormenting me. Alandra generally uses the analogy of a little boy in the sandbox playing with all his toys.

He loves and encourages my smart-ass nature. Alandra and I have a saying, “If he is laughing, we can’t get in trouble”, so we make sure he laughs often.

He is one of the most loyal and secure men I have ever met and he is not afraid to share his weaknesses. I know there are some who believe that a Dominant should not show any weaknesses, but I would never be able to be completely vulnerable to someone who does not.

He cherishes and guards my well-being, as if it is the most precious thing on this earth. But he is not afraid to give me the good, swift kick in the ass when I am being foolish.

And he loves ice cream *w*

Knight’s kyra

< Message edited by kyraofMists -- 12/13/2005 5:43:48 PM >

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RE: A submissive's perspective - 12/13/2005 6:20:42 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 1231
Joined: 10/7/2005
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oh.... but Sir, i bite...

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

lol...nuts sprinkled...now follow me to the Lion's Den.

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The glory of a slave girl is that she is a slave: and the misery of a slave girl is that she is a slave.
"Beasts of Gor" page 56

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Post #: 24

RE: A submissive's perspective - 12/13/2005 6:39:22 PM

LaMalinche

Posts: 361
Joined: 10/20/2005
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Me me me pick me, can I come too? Please? I am awefully cuddly. Please?

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Post #: 25

RE: A submissive's perspective - 12/13/2005 6:52:56 PM

WulfMan

Posts: 115
Joined: 1/11/2005
Status: offline

Well it's just kinda the general aura, it's not something that can be explained.
It's alot like love, or maybe it is love.
You know that feeling when those bright green eyes look at you and a sly smile curls upon their lips, your heart starts to race, and at that moment you know that you'd die for them if God ever so required it.
As far as traits go Honesty is a big one, Caring, and Understanding go far.

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Dayton
"From time to time, the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants and patriots. "
--Thomas Jefferson--

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RE: A submissive's perspective - 12/13/2005 7:01:34 PM

windy135

Posts: 259
Joined: 10/17/2005
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Geez ass! These message boards make me realize how much I don't know about myself. I think it’s a good thing that I try to put something down. I look for someone who can laugh and respects me. At this point in my life my education is what comes first. Some Doms just don’t understand this. I want a Dom who wil put me in my place when I'm crabby and blah. I just want.. want.. that one.. You know what I’m speaking of .. Right?

"I have loved the stars to foundly to be fearful of the night"

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Post #: 27

RE: A submissive's perspective - 12/13/2005 7:30:42 PM

bottominwa

Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
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Let me see...is the question more about whom one looks to be Owned by...or whom one is naturally Dominated by...which can be two entirely different things.

To my Owner i actively give my service...although now it seems second nature. And i love and adore Him and respect Him to the ends of the earth.

But this girl has also known a Dom or two...few and far between assuredly...who instantaneously made her wet...who Their first glance stopped her dead in her tracks. What she will say is They haven't been the type to be good Owners...because what makes one fabulously Dominant...can also make them a Predator.....a Hunter....and They are not entirely interested in collecting girls...rather conquests.

Now...for which she would rather have? Luckily, she is allowed the comfort and security and love of a house and a stable Owner...and the occasional romp with the big bad wolf we little girls all seek.

sabrina King

< Message edited by bottominwa -- 12/13/2005 7:31:54 PM >

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RE: A submissive's perspective - 12/31/2005 10:07:09 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 514
Joined: 12/14/2005
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Your tale of meeting your DOM reminded me of Milan Kundera's definition of love (from THE BOOK OF LAUGHTER AND FORGETTING.)

-----

"They began talking. What attracted and held Tamina's attention was his questions. Not what he asked, but the fact that he asked anything at all. It had been so long since anyone had asked her about anything. It seemed like an eternity! The only person who had ever really interogated her was her husband, and that was because love is a constant interrogation. In fact, I don't know a better definition of love."

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

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RE: A submissive's perspective - 1/3/2006 3:38:51 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 332
Joined: 11/3/2005
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Oh, what a great question!!

Intelligence
Self control
Ability to control me....(easier said than done!)
Vulnerability
Great sense of humour (means he will laugh at my dumb jokes)
A bad boy side, couple with someone I can introduce to my grandma, and my nilla friends
A wild imagination
Someone who likes to laugh more than not
Someone who enjoys the journey as much as the destination
Oh, yah, and someone who thinks I'm fascinating is always a good start!! *lol*

Thanks for this q, Fastlane, even though, I had a v good idea of what I need, I never really put it down on paper...er..uhm...computer...

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RE: A submissive's perspective - 1/3/2006 4:46:07 PM

foxglove716

Posts: 588
Joined: 7/4/2005
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What I look for in a dom is respect. Not just towards me, but towards everyone. A dom that thinks he is better than people or flaunts superiority is an instant turn off. There is a real thrill for me to see this good natured, kind, considerate man turn into a snarling, foaming at the mouth beast when we are in bed.

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Illusion is the first of all pleasures. -Oscar Wilde

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Post #: 31