RE: Should a Sub be Allowed

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RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/13/2005 12:51:14 PM

truesub4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkangel

People understand the question - it is that you either do not like the responses or you don't get them - they all seem exceptionally clear to me.

Peace and Rapture

It's not that at all. As I stated, I may not of asked the question at hand correctly. But at same time. The responses don't always come across as clearly as the one that did to me. I neither hate nor mind any and all repsonses to a questioned asked. But then again, I don't look for the negativity in all things.

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Post #: 41

RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/13/2005 8:22:16 PM

ProtagonistLily

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Joined: 12/27/2004
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quote:

I was wondering, if there are times that a sub should be allowed off limit times.

Discussing things with my Doctor and he stated that during a womans period, she should consider that her down time from sexual activities. And allow her body to cleanse itself, and do any re-adjusting the body feels is time for.

Though I know some women don't let a period stop them from having fun. Hell for some it brings out added hormones and pleasure points. And there are the ones that turn into.... (what was that post I read last night... oh yeah... PMS.. Prime Murder Suspects) LOL

My question to you is not if you want or prefer sex during period.... but should a submissive be allowed the OFF LIMITS time frame during her cycle. As far as sexual activities go?

Your doctor must be a man ~grin~. Frankly, I am at my peak libido just prior and during that time. Unfortunately, that is not the time that my Dom is always interested in ravishing me, so whether I like it or not, I get more down time then than I'd like.

I tend to get moody and crampy around my time and Sir is sensitive to this. I don't know what other Doms do, but who wants some whiny bitch that's not particularly compliant around? Because we have good communication and I talk to him about everything, I'll let him know if I'm not top of my game due to cramps and or irritability. He'll decide based on that information how he wants to handle our time together.

I don't believe as a woman that there's anything that I can't or shouldn't do simply because I'm menstruating. Most of us aren't in a position in this day and age to be able to be excused from our daily activities simply because we have our periods, though some days I wish I could just take to my bed.

So, that was the long way around your question. Basically, he is less amourous in the boudoir during that time of the month for me, though I wish he weren't. But, it's his call after all ;)

Lily

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Post #: 42

RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/13/2005 9:23:55 PM

girlTrainer2006

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Joined: 12/9/2005
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truesub,

It is my policy that a sub or slave should make herself available to her dom or master at all times. During her period, he of course can choose to use her anus if she is too bloody for his dick or condom.

I agree with candystripper's sentiment that your doctor's purported statement is absurd. How does sexual activity or abstinence affect the body's "self-cleansing"? The uteral lining is discarded as much or as little as your body sees fit, whether there is something moving in and out of the vagina for a half-hour or so once or twice each day. An what is this re-adjusting the body is supposedly doing? Was this doctor a voodoo doctor?

Thanks for the thought-provoking post.

John

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Post #: 43

RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/13/2005 9:36:08 PM

justheather

Posts: 307
Joined: 10/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

The only medical restriction on sex i know of is a woman, preggers, in her third trimester.

candystripper [/font] [/size] [/color]

Unless the placenta is incorrectly adhering to the wall of the uterus (placenta previa), or her membrane has ruptured, which would require her to go to the ED anyway, or she is at risk for preterm labor (orgasms can trigger oxytocin release during the third trimester - dont think I didnt take advantage of that in those final days...) it is actually safe (yet sometimes physically challenging!) for a woman to have sex during the third trimester of pregnancy.

Maybe this particular doctor is practicing from a holistic approach (not sure which flavor) and believes that the rhythms of the body are more supported if a woman abstains from sex during her menses. I wont subject you to the vile quote my son's father used to use about three holes and two hands, but, yeah, I dont see why having ones period would equal "off limits" unless thats something you both want to do, in which case, whatever floats yer relationship boat.

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Post #: 44

RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/13/2005 9:51:52 PM

truesub4u

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Thanks for the responses to the question all. All though the OP was incorrect and not posted as it should of been. I should of been more forth comming on the question than I was. And I was just using "period" as an expamle. I am one that agrees also that a sub/slave is to be available at all times. That's why I was just simply asking the question to see if others thought the same or differently about the subject.

Knowing that most agree that all should discussed prior to agreeing on commitment. Or that following "Some" doctors advice on physical or mental ailments.

As far as my doctor, voodoo ins't exactly the right religon. LOL..... but he is a preacher in a Southern North Carolina church as well as a MD. It very well may be his religon and he's combines the two. But either way, we all not that we do not ALWAYS follow a doctors advice. ................ Look at all the smokers... drinkers... etc... no need to go further on this one. LOL

Thank you all again for your comments, thoughts. Nice to know we call agree to disagree on some things. And life remains good to us all.

(in reply to girlTrainer2006)

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RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/13/2005 10:02:34 PM

justheather

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Joined: 10/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

Thanks for the responses to the question all. All though the OP was incorrect and not posted as it should of been. I should of been more forth comming on the question than I was. And I was just using "period" as an expamle. I am one that agrees also that a sub/slave is to be available at all times. That's why I was just simply asking the question to see if others thought the same or differently about the subject.

In that case, the question isnt really "answer-able", since its up to the parties concerened to define the shape, form and limits of their exchange of power. Thats like asking if it's 'ok' for a couple to go on separate vacations. Whatever gets em through the night, it's all right, it's all right...

Great subject matter, tho, I personally dont think we talk enough about menses. Anybody else use the organic tampons?

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And paste me in that book you always carry.
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Post #: 46

RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/14/2005 12:17:03 AM

Phoenxx

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Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Winnipeg
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We do not have "down time" in our relationship. But there are times when fawn goes out with the girls. It gives her a chance to clear her mind, unwind and even bitch about what a rotten hubby or Master she has, depending on who she is out with lol. Of course if she is late getting home, it's spanking time ;-)
It does help her recharge.
And from another point of view... I take tune out time too. I get out and just tune everything out.
I think we all have times when we need to unplug for a couple of hours and just relax.
Tony

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Post #: 47

RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/21/2005 9:27:49 PM

boundkat

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Joined: 12/20/2005
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i'm new to BDSM and the lifestyle, but i'll say this: it depends on the woman and what's happening with her. For most women, i agree, as subs, they should make themselves available for their Masters 24/7. However, as Masters, You have a responsibility to care for and be sensitive to Your subs/slaves' needs.
If Your sub/slave is having a difficult time emotionally or physically due to menstruation, You have an obligation to her to perhaps abstain from sex for a time until she is more receptive and responsive, or speak to her about her needs and care for her after sex.
There may be health issues involved here, too--women often become anemic with heavy menstruation, easily fatigued, dehaydrated and moody---these are physical issues and not ones that are trivial. Many men are unaware of these problems and believe the sub is just moody or "it's just that time of the month". This is NOT the case. Women often need time to heal/recover. For Doms/Masters that understand this, i applaud You....Others, please take a course in Biology, followed by sensitivity training(lol!)

.
boundkat....

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Post #: 48

RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/22/2005 7:19:27 AM

Padriag

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From: NC, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

I was wondering, if there are times that a sub should be allowed off limit times.

I think some "down time" or "free time" can be a good idea. However, for slaves I also think its something that should be earned as a reward, it is not a right. Part of my personal style is to use various kinds of rewards for good behavior, for having done something exceptionally well, as part of positive reinforcement. One of those rewards is free time, a block of time (usually an hour) that the slave can spend doing things she enjoys. Once she's earned some free time she can take it when she chooses, or accumulate additional blocks of free time, provided she has her chores done and is under no special restrictions (can't use it to get out of punishments in other words). I tend to prefer slaves with active minds, imaginations and creativity, and I find this kind of reward works well with that kind of slave... its a chance for them to freely indulge their own hobbies, interests and creativity... something I don't want to stifle in them. I don't imagine free time would work as a reward with all slaves... some simply wouldn't know what to do with it if they had it. So its a matter of knowing the personality of the individual slave and using rewards that work with that individual.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/22/2005 7:33:09 AM

phoenixslave

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Joined: 6/13/2004
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as a slave i have do not ask for downtime and as a male i have no medical need. But in retrospect, Master knows me like a book and perhaps i never get in this situation because He does so well. i am sure he knows when to run the dog and when to let it lie.

(in reply to luvdragonx)

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RE: Should a Sub be Allowed - 12/22/2005 7:49:42 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 1065
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

I was wondering, if there are times that a sub should be allowed off limit times.

I think some "down time" or "free time" can be a good idea. However, for slaves I also think its something that should be earned as a reward, it is not a right. Part of my personal style is to use various kinds of rewards for good behavior, for having done something exceptionally well, as part of positive reinforcement. One of those rewards is free time, a block of time (usually an hour) that the slave can spend doing things she enjoys. Once she's earned some free time she can take it when she chooses, or accumulate additional blocks of free time, provided she has her chores done and is under no special restrictions (can't use it to get out of punishments in other words). I tend to prefer slaves with active minds, imaginations and creativity, and I find this kind of reward works well with that kind of slave... its a chance for them to freely indulge their own hobbies, interests and creativity... something I don't want to stifle in them. I don't imagine free time would work as a reward with all slaves... some simply wouldn't know what to do with it if they had it. So its a matter of knowing the personality of the individual slave and using rewards that work with that individual.

So well put. But then again, I find myself being bias on your responses. Because of how well written, and so right on the money with them. Your opinions, your thoughts, always intrest me. Could be mostly because they seem genuine.

Thank you again for such a great response.

jessica

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Post #: 51