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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> What should I do?

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What should I do? - 12/10/2005 2:20:57 PM

WulfMan

Posts: 115
Joined: 1/11/2005
Status: offline

Here is the deal, I'm in the military. My Mistress and potential future wife has threatened to leave me if I do not quit. The Military is something very close to my heart being able to help people, like I was able to in Katrina when I volunteered, and in Iraq as well. I know I'm supposed to be the submissive one, but I'm not sure if I can be here.
HELP!!!!!!

_____________________________

The Wolf Man
Dayton
"From time to time, the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants and patriots. "
--Thomas Jefferson--

Post #: 1

RE: What should I do? - 12/10/2005 2:51:00 PM

williebdenied

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/23/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

When I read how you worded your plea, it sounded to me like you already know the answer...follow your heart.

(in reply to WulfMan)

Post #: 2

RE: What should I do? - 12/10/2005 2:56:00 PM

slaveneedledick

Posts: 171
Joined: 3/11/2005
From: Atlanta GA
Status: offline

I must say that you need to follow your heart and things will work out. You never know what might happen. Good luck with your decision.

(in reply to williebdenied)

Post #: 3

RE: What should I do? - 12/10/2005 2:58:15 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 1931
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WulfMan

Here is the deal, I'm in the military. My Mistress and potential future wife has threatened to leave me if I do not quit. The Military is something very close to my heart being able to help people, like I was able to in Katrina when I volunteered, and in Iraq as well. I know I'm supposed to be the submissive one, but I'm not sure if I can be here.
HELP!!!!!!

Why ask us? The only one who can decide on how you live your life is looking at you from the mirror. All others are bystanders.

_____________________________

----
www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to WulfMan)

Post #: 4

RE: What should I do? - 12/10/2005 4:12:46 PM

Cloudz

Posts: 279
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

You know what she is afraid of, and you know what you are afraid of. I suspect she fears losing you. You likely fear losing a part of what makes you you. No easy answers. Good luck.

_____________________________

Bright Blessings,
~Cloudz
_

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud's illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

(in reply to WulfMan)

Post #: 5

RE: What should I do? - 12/10/2005 4:14:57 PM

Cloudz

Posts: 279
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

Sorry, did not notice your tag line before...kinda says it all doesn't it?

_____________________________

Bright Blessings,
~Cloudz
_

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud's illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

(in reply to WulfMan)

Post #: 6

RE: What should I do? - 12/11/2005 7:54:26 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 1850
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

What expectations were established in the beginning? You have heard the words here--IMHO one brings nothing to Me, if he does not feel peace in himself as a person outside the D/dynamic---this may very well cause you friction later--listen to your heart but decide with your head--

_____________________________

"I would rather 30 seconds of something wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." Steel Magnolias

Mistress Hathor

Proud owner of subtoFemDommes--who is known as Her private label in training.

(in reply to WulfMan)

Post #: 7

RE: What should I do? - 12/11/2005 8:07:31 AM

windchymes

Posts: 517
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I think that if she took something away from you that was that important to you, you would resent her for the rest of your life. Submissive or not....YOU have to be YOU. My two cents is to say goodbye to her and find someone who "completes" you (as corny as that sounds, there is some truth to it), not who castrates you.

I think what you're doing is fabulous. The world needs more people like you.

chymes

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 8

RE: What should I do? - 12/11/2005 8:10:27 AM

windchymes

Posts: 517
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz

Sorry, did not notice your tag line before...kinda says it all doesn't it?

And I have to agree with this, also :)

chymes

(in reply to Cloudz)

Post #: 9

RE: What should I do? - 12/11/2005 11:37:10 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 495
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

You don't mention what part of military life that she seems to have the issue with. Coming from a military family myself I know that distance, the fact he may not come back alive and the constant lonliness on a base that's not terribly spouse friendly take their toll even in nilla relationships.
Has she given you any suggestions as to what you are supposed to "do with yourself" if you give up the military? Are these things you are at all interested in?
IMHO this sounds more like a spouse that's fed up with the gypsey life more than directly with you. The question is how to handle it. Myself I need more info.

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 10

RE: What should I do? - 12/11/2005 2:59:18 PM

WulfMan

Posts: 115
Joined: 1/11/2005
Status: offline

From what I can tell it's the fact that I may not come home. Let's just say my job isn't exactly safe. I understand this, in reply what I could do with my life out of the military. Well I could finish my degree, having dropped the college thing for awhile for the military. Out of college I could go work with my father at Lockheed Martin, god knows he'd put in a good word for me. Mechanical engineering is kinda a high demand feild. But if I did this I almost feel as if I'd let down those that have died along side of me, those families of those men. If you have been to Iraq or Afganastan you'd see what good we are doing there, just look at the children. Despite what the media says, you have to look at it. Well I'm gonna stop rambling, just got myself on a subject that I feel strong about.
I love her, but I'm not sure if I can let that part of me go yet if ever.

_____________________________

The Wolf Man
Dayton
"From time to time, the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants and patriots. "
--Thomas Jefferson--

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 11

RE: What should I do? - 12/11/2005 4:37:04 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 2933
Status: offline

quote:

I understand this, in reply what I could do with my life out of the military. Well I could finish my degree, having dropped the college thing for awhile for the military. Out of college I could go work with my father at Lockheed Martin, god knows he'd put in a good word for me. Mechanical engineering is kinda a high demand feild. But if I did this I almost feel as if I'd let down those that have died along side of me, those families of those men

You should do whatever you feel gives you purpose in life, and than find someone with whom that works in a relationship.
My father, who was a very strong man with strong opinions, stayed out of politics and situations which would require he sacrifice his life, because his first priority was his wife and family. I want to say that whatever decision you make is fine and will be yours to live with, but taking care of those you love does not make you less of a man or less heroic. I look at it as making the world better one person at a time.
Good luck, M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to WulfMan)

Post #: 12

RE: What should I do? - 12/11/2005 6:28:29 PM

HouseofBear

Posts: 362
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline

Both of us are prior military (and very proud of it) and understand where you are coming from. You are indeed in a rough spot, because you are being forced to choose between two things that are very dear to you. Only you can decide how it will affect the relationship in the long run if you do choose to leave the military to please her, or how it will affect you personally in the long run if you choose not to leave and you lose her. We wish you luck in whatever your choice is.

Bear and Ursa

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 13

RE: What should I do? - 12/11/2005 7:06:43 PM

HouseofBear

Posts: 362
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Only you can decide how it will affect the relationship in the long run if you do choose to leave the military to please her, or how it will affect you personally in the long run if you choose not to leave and you lose her. We wish you luck in whatever your choice is.

Nothing like getting twisted up in your sentence. That should have read, Only you can decide how it will affect the relationship in the long run if you choose not to leave in order to please her, or how it will affect you personally if you choose to leave and lose her. We wish you luck in whatever your choice is.

Bear and Ursa

(in reply to HouseofBear)

Post #: 14

RE: What should I do? - 12/11/2005 7:17:31 PM

WulfMan

Posts: 115
Joined: 1/11/2005
Status: offline

Bah! talk about the king of shitty situations. The crappy thing is there is no meeting point, no compromise. I understand that she can't stand the thought of me not coming home, it bugs me too, I want a family and I want kids. Never saw this coming though.

_____________________________

The Wolf Man
Dayton
"From time to time, the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants and patriots. "
--Thomas Jefferson--

(in reply to HouseofBear)

Post #: 15

RE: What should I do? - 12/11/2005 9:31:17 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

yeah

i'd say the sig line says it all

take care
good luck
and thank you for doing YOUR time for your country
i did MINE!

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to WulfMan)

Post #: 16

RE: What should I do? - 12/12/2005 9:06:27 AM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 518
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

I spent 13 years married to a soldier, and our middle child was born the day before he left for the 1st gulf war. He came home safe, to see his daughter grow up, create a new son, and now, see his oldest son become an adult.

I was also bound to two civilians for 4 and 5 years respectively, one who died suddenly, of a freak medical crisis (aneurysm) and another who died on the job. They did not leave my mate and I with children to remember them by, and took the life out of our poly home when we lost them. Our recovery was slow, and only our love and our knowledge of ourselves and one another kept us going some days...

Nothing in this life is secure. We live and we die according to a schedule that none of us knows. The only thing that makes life worth living is doing those things that fulfill us, and no matter what role we play in another's life, stripping them of what fulfills them will never leave us with a happy home, only with resentment and frustration.

I will be happy to talk with your Mistress/Wife about this. She may email me via the site. Nothing good will come from taking that which is cherished out of another person's life -- and doing so strips the heart from a relationship, leaving a hollow abyss in which mistrust, angst, misery, denial, and dissatisfaction can fester. Life decisions made on foundations of fear rarely serve anyone, including the one making the decision.

Lady Zephyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: WulfMan

Bah! talk about the king of shitty situations. The crappy thing is there is no meeting point, no compromise. I understand that she can't stand the thought of me not coming home, it bugs me too, I want a family and I want kids. Never saw this coming though.

_____________________________

"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.

(in reply to WulfMan)

Post #: 17

RE: What should I do? - 12/12/2005 10:32:53 AM

WulfMan

Posts: 115
Joined: 1/11/2005
Status: offline

Alright we basicly came up with a compromise. I get to stay in the military she doesn't want to take that away from me, but we both decided that I should take up my offer to the ROTC officer training corp, so I could lead men and not "die with them" or so she says. Thanks for all your help I didn't want to lose her, but yet I didn't want to lose a peice of me.

_____________________________

The Wolf Man
Dayton
"From time to time, the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants and patriots. "
--Thomas Jefferson--

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)

Post #: 18

RE: What should I do? - 12/12/2005 6:35:34 PM

AquarianButerfly

Posts: 25
Joined: 12/6/2005
Status: offline

it will be hard, but i think you already know what the answer is.. best of luck

(in reply to WulfMan)

Post #: 19

RE: What should I do? - 12/12/2005 7:10:42 PM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 254
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WulfMan
I didn't want to lose her, but yet I didn't want to lose a peice of me.

Read the above to yourself.
If you lose yourself, then you have little or nothing to offer her, regardless of your occupation.

Military service has a limited time frame (realistically)... love does not. Is there mybe a chance that there is some greed involved in her request? Does your devotion and patriotism coincide with that at all? You have to have your inner value in order to be a valuable submissive, slave, or partner in any relationship. Will you still have that in your heart without your military position?

These are all questions to ask yourself. I hope that, in them, you may find your answers.

(in reply to WulfMan)

Post #: 20

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