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MCherNobyl -> RE: JUST 'a' question re: poly (12/27/2005 4:11:21 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HouseofBear
Poly can include many "arrangements." I know of several female dominants who have more than one male or female submissive.
I totally agree with that HouseofBear and I want to say I've been very intriuged with all of LadiesBladwing's posts.
I'm a Female Dom, who I have been with a switch male for about 10 years (there was about 1 1/2 year split 2 years ago, it had nothing to do with poly). I have been in a few poly relationships, the first began as a V, but the woman and I became very close and it became a true triad, but then it switched and became a V again with her being in the middle and the man and I not being involved with each other. I was with her until her tricic early death. In this current poly situation, I'm always on the look out for women to play with mostly subs, and I just enjoy being with women. He has had a girl friend that he wanted to become a triad, she was straight up vanilla, and refused to even meet me, and near the end told us that she srubbed the floor with both our toothbrushes. She ranted on him calling him a 'mormon' because he was with more than one woman at once.
Anyways, I've told him time and time again, to create a true triad all parntners have to all like each other before jumping in head first, or you'll end up with jealousy and head games. That I believe do NOT belong in poly relationships -what ever kind of poly it is-
He has a difficult time coming on to women when I'm around and I generally have to push him to talk to a girl/ or guy (as he is bi but prefers women). I guess me knowing him for so long and being a strong woman he becomes afraid and is unable to ooze charm with another woman around me. But if he meets a woman alone and likes her I tell him he should explain the situation and have her meet me so we can all be on a level playing ground. So long as the woman is honest and willing to go with the flow, it's cool. If I get the vibe that there will be a compition, I dont want to be involved. He doesnt seem to have that 6th sense about him.
Now if I meet a woman and she likes me and end up liking him, things end up fine. But many times I've been with women who just didnt want to be with him (she has a b/f or just doesnt feel anything).
The last time, we had any kind of poly experience, where the woman (I have a hard time calling her a 'woman' I feel like calling her a kindergardener, even though she's older than both of us) scrubbed the bathroom floor with our toothbrushes, I knew him and her wouldnt last. Even though she had been his g/f in high school, I had been with him for nearly 10 years and known him for another 8, I just hung on through the rough stuff and knew that this would end because I did not intend to leave him, and I didn't think she was stable enough with her own self to be involved with him while he was with me (it went so far that I wasnt allowed to touch or use any gear he had bought for her, meanwhile they used gear of mine with out thought). As much as I tried to reach out to her I was turned away as an evil demonic freak (we seem to call other people what we secretly know what we are).
Ok this is getting long winded. I'll get to the point.
The point being after the glow of the begining of thier relationship wore of I knew it couldnt stand on it's own. And thats exactly what happened, I being a Dom Woman, let go of my control and let him live his little fantasy out, and it ended badly. He thought everything was ok that they'd still be friends and what not, she refuses to speak to him email him or see him. And after the fact he told me he wanted to dump me to be with her, only after being coerced by her to do so. By the time he was ready to 'dump' me, she ended it.
Anyways, There are many Dom Fem's with poly lives. If you are one just aways becareful who you let into your life and make sure everyone on all sides is ok with the arrangement. Otherwise things can end ugly. My male sub is less one friend because of it.
I should end this post as I have many things to say on the subject and I seem to jump all over the place with the topic.
I applaude LadiesBladewing's wonderful arrangement. I hope more people can be like this. It's important to be honest all the way around and that everyone clicks.
Also I think people in the BDSM world are more known for being poly is that BDSM people are more comfortable with their sex lives and more open on the subject.
The best be with you all.
M. Cher Nobyl
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