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Closed - 11/15/2005 10:59:44 PM

FTMaster

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/19/2005
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< Message edited by FTMaster -- 11/16/2005 8:30:15 PM >

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/15/2005 11:09:51 PM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

do not have any patent answers for you...but in all honesty...........if this lifestyle means anything to you,.........you won't be leaving all that quick. i know "I" got ticked many many times.....by all the domme players.......
so do not think or feel YOU are the lone stranger in this. it happens to ALL of us.......
girl subs boy subs dommes and doms.......all 4 get hit hard.

my advice for 3 cents?

stick it out and take a long deep breath. get some sleep, hot food down your throat.....and re think a game plan to start over with,.

my best wishes to YOU

wolf

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/15/2005 11:10:35 PM

slavejali

Posts: 721
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline

i met my Master online and we have now been together for 2 years rl now. Dont give up hope Sir..maybe your methods of choosing a prospective meet need to be re-evaluated?

< Message edited by slavejali -- 11/15/2005 11:11:49 PM >

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/15/2005 11:16:16 PM

GlobalSkulls

Posts: 40
Joined: 11/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTMaster

Well, she showed up (a very plain looking woman, not ugly, but not even close to a head turner), so I thought....hmmmm....ok this one may be serious. We had a nice lunch, I payed for lunch....no biggie the restaurant sucked, she picked it, so it was cheap...anyway....we decided that we would get together in the evening for our first session.

Hmm what a nice set of comments you said. 'rolls eyes'.Wonder if your body language showed what you were thinking..

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/15/2005 11:24:54 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 960
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTMaster

Well well, when I first started using collarme.com I thought that most of the members were real honest people, seeking out partners for BDSM relationships and play.

WOW was I wrong. Just about every single one I have corresponded with has been an absolute FAKE!

I will give you an example: I had been corresponding with a female sub (so she says...) for about two months. We decided it was finally time for a vanilla meeting at a restaurant to see how we got along in person and to see if we should move forward.

Well, she showed up (a very plain looking woman, not ugly, but not even close to a head turner), so I thought....hmmmm....ok this one may be serious. We had a nice lunch, I payed for lunch....no biggie the restaurant sucked, she picked it, so it was cheap...anyway....we decided that we would get together in the evening for our first session. I was to call her "cell phone"...I think it was just voice mail...at 7:00pm to confirm that she was coming to the hotel I am staying at.

I called her multiple times and always got the answering service. I then sent her messages on Yahoo Messenger and on collarme.com and asked her to let me know what happened, and why she had to cancel our plans. Talk about rude and crude and awful. I am sitting in the hotel, having been completely duped by this human piece of crap, and she doesn't even have the curtesy to send a message to say something to the effect of "sorry...couldn't make it....not interested anymore....etc...."

Needless to say, more energy and effort wasted. This BDSM stuff is fun...(not everyone wants to be a "lifestyle" BDSM afficianado)....but for most it is just some kind of mental fantasy....I caution all of you to not waste alot of time here. Most are just game players and fakers. The only way to truly find a BDSM partner is to attend local groups and meetings. This online stuff is mostly trashy people. The problem is, is that not all of us can attend meetings, or even have active groups in our local area.

I have at least a half dozen other episodes similar to this one, and I have only been a member for two months.

Damn I am tired of the BS and most likely giving up on "BDSM"...it is just not worth it...

FTMaster

PS. I am not a fat, ugly, toothless, moron...so...don't think she took one look at me and said "ok....a free lunch...but then get me clear of this creep"

She just wasn't into you.

You are so into judging her-- yet she didn't find you good enough. This bothers you a lot apparently. It's not game playing -- she just didn't find herself attracted to you. Maybe you aren't "all that."

Akasha

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/15/2005 11:25:32 PM

wipmebeetme100

Posts: 192
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I have at least a half dozen other episodes similar to this one, and I have only been a member for two months.

Damn I am tired of the BS and most likely giving up on "BDSM"...it is just not worth it...

FTMaster

PS. I am not a fat, ugly, toothless, moron...so...don't think she took one look at me and said "ok....a free lunch...but then get me clear of this creep"

A half a dozen episodes just like that.....hmmmmm...., do you see a pattern here?
The whole tone of your post turns me off.....restaurant sucked, duped by this human piece of crap. Thinking i would prefer a fat, ugly toothless moron who had some common courtesy....which is not something i have seen in your post.
Maybe you need to look in the mirror....you might find the "problem."

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/15/2005 11:45:09 PM

themischievous1

Posts: 49
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: San Antonio, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTMaster

Well well, when I first started using collarme.com I thought that most of the members were real honest people, seeking out partners for BDSM relationships and play.

WOW was I wrong. Just about every single one I have corresponded with has been an absolute FAKE!

Hmm. I think it depends on the individual, frankly, Sir. I also think it depends on what the individual is looking for. It's clear from your profile that you aren't looking for a relationship. You're looking for "sessions" or play; at least that's the impression I've gotten from your profile. Is it possible that female submissives are less likely to take "just play" seriously? Maybe they consider it akin to what the majority of us refer to as just getting laid.

Personally, I can't imagine meeting a stranger for coffee or lunch and then planning to go to his hotel room to be played by him that same day, but then I haven't been interested in casual sessions and scening. I can definitely understand a mindset that is rather uninvested, however, thus is then able to blow you off without even the courtesy of letting you know. I'm afraid you aren't offering anything of substance to be invested in to be completely honest with you, Sir, and that may very well be the crux of the problem.

mischie

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/15/2005 11:58:46 PM

Marquisd

Posts: 58
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GlobalSkulls

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTMaster

Well, she showed up (a very plain looking woman, not ugly, but not even close to a head turner), so I thought....hmmmm....ok this one may be serious. We had a nice lunch, I payed for lunch....no biggie the restaurant sucked, she picked it, so it was cheap...anyway....we decided that we would get together in the evening for our first session.

Hmm what a nice set of comments you said. 'rolls eyes'.Wonder if your body language showed what you were thinking..

Yeah, talk about judging a book by it's cover!

second your opinion

cheers

Marquis

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/16/2005 12:09:34 AM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

I cant say ive had the same happen. I found another slave just a few days ago and im flying her in tomorrow afternoon to me. This took several months to accomplish finding another slave. Slow down a little fella and take a deep breath. Instant gratafication is a wonderful feeling but sometimes it takes a little time to find someone that will meet your needs. If you are that easy to give up then you have already failed in your quest to Master your own personal affairs. This dosent look good to those submissives out there that are reading your posts. By posting I have met many others that are real and think along the same lines I do. I have met just as many misinformed along the way. You will have to feel your way through the muck that the interent has made for us all. To be able to wade through that junk on the interent has alot to say about your convictions within this lifestyle. If you are this easy to give up then what would you do with someone you will have to train and they disobey you? Will you give up or overcome the problem? Think about this and try some personal reflection and set goals for yourself. The most beautiful women are those with wondeful attitudes. The barbie doll type that you may or may not be looking for is a fantasy. This is the reality of the situation. The real women out there want a Master and know their place among us. Dont lower your standards by any means just get real.

Master Six

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/16/2005 12:42:58 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 2933
Status: offline

quote:

Well, she showed up (a very plain looking woman, not ugly, but not even close to a head turner), so I thought....hmmmm....ok this one may be serious. We had a nice lunch, I payed for lunch....no biggie the restaurant sucked, she picked it, so it was cheap...anyway....we decided that we would get together in the evening for our first session. I was to call her "cell phone"...I think it was just voice mail...at 7:00pm to confirm that she was coming to the hotel I am staying at.

I called her multiple times and always got the answering service. I then sent her messages on Yahoo Messenger and on collarme.com and asked her to let me know what happened, and why she had to cancel our plans. Talk about rude and crude and awful. I am sitting in the hotel, having been completely duped by this human piece of crap

What a terrible first post FTMaster.
So she stood you up... But if you weren't meeting for casual play, why didn't you invite her out to dinner to a better place of your choosing, meet her with some compliments (instead of the you're just average, but you'll do tude), say or do something showing you like and apreciate her as a human being aside from her ability to bottom to you, before asking her if she'd like to spend a little more time together, and than, ask her if she'd feel comfortable playing a little with set limits?

I'm also wondering if you do the "what is it with me, that the chicks keep standing me up without an explanation, even after we've met?"
The other thing that won't serve you well, is ragging on her here in a public forum, and in my opinion, you look much worse and have with your post given us reasons why smart/sensible women might want to stand you up and never look back. A gentleman does not kiss and tell, and a gentleman does not call a lady out of her name because she's annoyed him (unless she likes it and wants it that way)

.. M

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/16/2005 1:32:11 AM

MissDiandSirHugh

Posts: 963
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

We found that you stated it was "quote " Just about every single one I have corresponded with has been an absolut FAKE! "end quote" which seems to mean that you have also had experiences with others that went to plan in every way you and they wished it to go.
So maybe that person who you felt was a fake also found that you your self was not the person she wanted to just have a quick fling with or any more to do with as others have felt the same with you then best just look inward to your own self and run a check of all the things you feel has the negetive effect on others.

Did you react in some bad way when you found she was not a top of the range model?
If so then learn to control your feelings of disapointment.

Did you at any time make a derogatory remark on her choice of restaurant?
If so then remember it was her or who evers choice so show and speak well of the choice even if its a fast food out let let them feel they have pleased you in some way even if only a small thing.

Did you not feel that continious messages to her "cell phone" was a message to you in her way of saying its no go?
If not then we feel she would have got the feeling you were being to pushy and then to receive messages on yahoo would have confirmed that feeling in her.

Do you now feel any one who reads this will thing how exciteing and proud they will feel standing behind you or infront of you submiting to your desires and wishes?
We Do'nt thing so and many others will probably have the same thoughts.

As to attending BDSM groups amd munches or any thing to do with the life stly we are so far from the main stream of humanity we cant attend a family get together with out lots of planing but have meet with people from CM at a city we have all agreed on some where inbetween us and them and always enjoyed those meetings then the travel of many hours in either direction to their or our place for a few days of exciteing pleasure.
So it seems that your wires are crossed in thinking that most are just fakers or maybe we have found the few or arnt.

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/16/2005 1:55:39 AM

IronBear

Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTMaster

Well well, when I first started using collarme.com I thought that most of the members were real honest people, seeking out partners for BDSM relationships and play.

WOW was I wrong. Just about every single one I have corresponded with has been an absolute FAKE!

I will give you an example: I had been corresponding with a female sub (so she says...) for about two months. We decided it was finally time for a vanilla meeting at a restaurant to see how we got along in person and to see if we should move forward.

Well, she showed up (a very plain looking woman, not ugly, but not even close to a head turner), so I thought....hmmmm....ok this one may be serious. We had a nice lunch, I payed for lunch....no biggie the restaurant sucked, she picked it, so it was cheap...anyway....we decided that we would get together in the evening for our first session. I was to call her "cell phone"...I think it was just voice mail...at 7:00pm to confirm that she was coming to the hotel I am staying at.

I called her multiple times and always got the answering service. I then sent her messages on Yahoo Messenger and on collarme.com and asked her to let me know what happened, and why she had to cancel our plans. Talk about rude and crude and awful. I am sitting in the hotel, having been completely duped by this human piece of crap, and she doesn't even have the curtesy to send a message to say something to the effect of "sorry...couldn't make it....not interested anymore....etc...."

Needless to say, more energy and effort wasted. This BDSM stuff is fun...(not everyone wants to be a "lifestyle" BDSM afficianado)....but for most it is just some kind of mental fantasy....I caution all of you to not waste alot of time here. Most are just game players and fakers. The only way to truly find a BDSM partner is to attend local groups and meetings. This online stuff is mostly trashy people. The problem is, is that not all of us can attend meetings, or even have active groups in our local area.

I have at least a half dozen other episodes similar to this one, and I have only been a member for two months.

Damn I am tired of the BS and most likely giving up on "BDSM"...it is just not worth it...

FTMaster

PS. I am not a fat, ugly, toothless, moron...so...don't think she took one look at me and said "ok....a free lunch...but then get me clear of this creep"

In the words of another, FT Master;

"You have been tried; You have been tested and you have been found wanting."
Try another approach next attempt.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 11/16/2005 1:56:52 AM >

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Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/16/2005 4:01:01 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 392
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

You said you met her here on Collarme and that you also had the same problem with a half dozen others you met here. It would be interesting if the last one or one of the others would give us the other side to meeting you. This could possibly be helpful to you, also.

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Post #: 13

RE: Fakers and game players - 11/16/2005 4:40:09 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 1512
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I just want to add that I have some friends attempting the on-line dating thing at vanilla sites. They also have some stories to tell. Dates gone bad, insincere people, no call backs, etc. Difficulty is common with on-line attempts at romance.

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/16/2005 4:41:47 AM

redheadedfire4u

Posts: 104
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Well, she showed up (a very plain looking woman, not ugly, but not even close to a head turner), so I thought....hmmmm....ok this one may be serious.

Ouch! So if a sub is well groomed and shows any kind of passable looks she is not serious?

quote:

We had a nice lunch, I payed for lunch....no biggie the restaurant sucked, she picked it, so it was cheap

Sometimes it is better to choose something that is not expensive as not everyone is finacially up there and if it is dutch than it is not a problem and if the man wishes to pay it is not going to be out of His means to do so. A choice of an inexpensive venue can often be consideration ... not simply cheap?

quote:

This online stuff is mostly trashy people.

I have met some wonderful people on other sites and though am new to this site have read some wonderfully supportive posts to those who have questions and problems. There seem to be a lot of helpful genuine people, you just need to look out for the right ones and ignore the other types. I have formed friendships both online and in RL with people I have met through the other site and probably will on this site as well, I met my Sir online. He was one of those people who offered help and guidence to someone new, I was not actually looking for anyone at the time, I was still learning the basics and felt I needed more knowledge before I could actually step into L/s in the physical sense lol.

I am affraid I have to agree with wipmebeetme100

quote:

A half a dozen episodes just like that.....hmmmmm...., do you see a pattern here?
The whole tone of your post turns me off.....restaurant sucked, duped by this human piece of crap. Thinking i would prefer a fat, ugly toothless moron who had some common courtesy....which is not something i have seen in your post.
Maybe you need to look in the mirror....you might find the "problem."

warm smiles to all

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/16/2005 4:58:23 AM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 384
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05

do not have any patent answers for you...but in all honesty...........if this lifestyle means anything to you,.........you won't be leaving all that quick. wolf

I agree. I've seen a few people lately say they are going to give up on BDSM because they aren't finding anyone. If BDSM is such a part of you, why would you give up so easily? Who is really the game player here?

quote:

This online stuff is mostly trashy people. The problem is, is that not all of us can attend meetings, or even have active groups in our local area.

I travel an hour to get to my local BDSM group. If you are dedicated to finding a group and attending, you will.

Be well,
Julie

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/16/2005 5:06:46 AM

Kyami

Posts: 32
Joined: 11/14/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wipmebeetme100

quote:

I have at least a half dozen other episodes similar to this one, and I have only been a member for two months.

Damn I am tired of the BS and most likely giving up on "BDSM"...it is just not worth it...

FTMaster

PS. I am not a fat, ugly, toothless, moron...so...don't think she took one look at me and said "ok....a free lunch...but then get me clear of this creep"

A half a dozen episodes just like that.....hmmmmm...., do you see a pattern here?
The whole tone of your post turns me off.....restaurant sucked, duped by this human piece of crap. Thinking i would prefer a fat, ugly toothless moron who had some common courtesy....which is not something i have seen in your post.
Maybe you need to look in the mirror....you might find the "problem."

Exactly what I was thinking.

I have only been a member here for less than a week I think, and yet, I have already talked to some wonderful people ( who have not tried to pressure me into a single thing, just taken the time to answer the questions of a newb). Personally, while I don't agree with her method, I also think that you should stop and wonder if maybe, just maybe, you brought it on?

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/16/2005 5:07:27 AM

nephandi

Posts: 872
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline

i have stood somone up online once, i get depression and then i cant stomac talking whit anyone, i am not proud of this but it happend, and it cost me the operturnity to find a nice play partner and learn more.

SirSix72 Sir, it is wonderful news you ahve found another slave, i hope it works out for you.

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/16/2005 5:17:07 AM

justatoy2

Posts: 118
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

We always want to blame others instead of looking at ourselves. This has happened to you a number of time? Then its time to look at yourself and your own approach. People can be very perceptive. It didn't sound like you were all that into her, other than hey lets have a roll in the hay. Frankly if i felt that from someone on a first meeting i would walk away from that , because its not what i want. Now she didn't handle it the right way, but she probably felt intimidated and didn't want to hurt your feelings. Is she scum? no probably not. And if this experience is going to make you leave BDSM, then i have to say, its probably for the best.

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RE: Fakers and game players - 11/16/2005 5:19:21 AM

MasterRobert1

Posts: 154
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline

That seems to be about par for the course around here. Most people seem to be out for a mental thrill, a quick ride i=on the WWW Mindfantasy Machine. Unfortunately, I don't see things changing online anytime soon. Suggestions, anyone?

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