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B1gbear -> RE: Is it just me or is this strange? (11/27/2005 8:21:13 PM)
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First I want to say "Good Job" in staying objective and reading the signs laid out before you. I have read many of the comments to your questions and feel they are mostly all good and support you in making a wise choice in holding to your need to thoroughly research what you are being asked to be part of. There were a couple of things to understand when you are being 'interviewed' for a poly arrangement. First, put yourself in their shoes.....Is Master going to take on a sub he doesn't know from Adam? Not if he's worth a crap as a Dom or actually takes his responsibilities to heart. Second, your instincts were good on the whole collar and mark thing. How many subs or slaves here are not more than eager to talk about your collar or Master's Mark? How many wouldn't volunteer stories or descriptions of such if even slightly prompted? Hands? Anyone? Next....If the sub/slave is interviewing you before you have even spoken to Master online, there is one of two reasons in my mind. 1st) He is sick of having lines run past him and has decided, let a woman's intuition find the real ones from the fakes....or 2nd) He is concerned that his sub/slave will not just accept with open arms anyone he brings in the door and wants to be sure there is a chemistry between subs/slaves before going further. Well then there is 3) He is too lazy to do the leg work himself. That said, if a sub/slave is interviewing you, be tollerant, but not stupid. She is "INTERVIEWING" you. Her concerns are as follows: does she like you, are you going to try and take her Master from her, are you sane, how well does she feel you will fit into "THEIR" dynamic, will you be her best friend and/or lover or just Master's other girl, are you serious or a game player, are you willing to work for it cause God knows she did and spent every minute up until that time earning her spot in Master's collar...why should you be any different, Will Master be proud of her for bringing you to him or will he get frustrated and take the task away from her for failing, has she covered everything Master told her to be sure of, etc, etc....this list goes on all day. If Master was interviewing you it would most often be far simpler......(Does he like you, does he find you someone he wants around regularly, does he want to extend his responsibilities to include you....does he have the what it takes to make you a happy and valued member of his home, will you and his other girl get along? Now please don't think I am belittling or putting down us Doms...we are not that shallow for the most part and we go far deeper into the compatibility, but my point is that the Interviewer retains 90% of their questions and analysis on their own needs. It's human nature. Don't be too hard on a critical sub or slave interviewing you. You don't know how many players she met before you or who they lost money to trying to bring them out to be with them already. Again, in your defense, don't settle and give in without the answers you need either, they may just be testing you to see if you are serious enough to ask the right questions and hold to your guns. Some of us don't want doormats ya know. Hang in there and trust your intuition, but never forget tact and that it is an interviewing process......a difficult one at that for everyone that is serious in the equation.
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