RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (Full Version)

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craftygirl -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/8/2005 11:37:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rubyb
Yes, that's it!
(snip)

Enjoy your style,
flourish in what pleases you,
and your subs will, too.


My sub's favorite thing to call me (usually under his breath, with a bit of cheekiness) is "evil bitch." My response is usually something like "Smile when you say that, slut" and we have a pretty good chuckle over it. But to the point here, it's very easy to be evil without inflicting a lot of pain. As much as I like to play with his naughty bits, what really flips my switch is playing around with his head a little. Anyone could, in theory (he's picky) stroke his cock or spank his ass and get him worked up. Only I am allowed to tease, push, and make him believe that I may just do that one thing he's terrified of but turns him on at the same time.

There are a million ways to dominate someone, and many of them don't involve the slightest mark or impact.

Thanks for that last, Ruby. It's so true.



Jasmyn -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/9/2005 2:07:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaJade

Yes I admit that I made a poor judgement call in that moment of saying yes. We are all entitled to a bad decision once in awhile as no one is perfect. However I did take control of the situation and prevented an ER visit. I hope the next person he seeks will come to the same conclusion.

But the point I was trying to make is not to allow someone to pressure another into an uncomfortable situation - whether it's the Domme or the submissive. So if you are a soft, sensual or sadistic Domme just don't compromise yourself.



Trampling is a long held fetish of many men and has being done safely for years by many many women. I just hope you're not implying that it should not be done when you state you hope the next person he seeks will come to the same conclusion (as you)?



RealmOfSenses -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/9/2005 3:19:17 AM)

I can see why some women would be scared of trampling, but i've been trampled by many women of many sizes for years and 99% of the time it was fun and no damage ever came of it (plus i'm not the biggest guy either), only once have i had a cracked rib from it out of hundreds of times and it was my own dumb fault for being drunk when i was being trampled and pushing the mistress too far. Albeit i prefer barefoot trample which is of course alot safer than heels but i've done alot of other activities that i've gotten more hurt from than trampling. Foot fetish is the most common fetish out there so trampling is only gonna become alot more prominent as BDSM gets more popular best thing to do is (if you have subs that enjoy it) learn your boundaries that you will go and they can take and you will soon find it as fun as they do! :)



Sardaxia -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/9/2005 3:59:22 AM)

I've only posted a few threads here but have already been ticked off (al beit in a friendly postive way!) about thinking of my own needs over the 'Mistress'. But if someone feels they need to be trampled or whatever there is nothing wrong with that & there are plenty of women who enjoy trampling other wise they would not do it .

http://www.mistressdestiny.com/forums/

I am always curious what the trampler gets out of the experience, it can't be sexual as I'm sure that doing what a Dom/ Mistress does generally can't be?

Mistress Jasmyn
quote:

Trampling is a long held fetish of many men and has being done safely for years by many many women. I just hope you're not implying that it should not be done when you state you hope the next person he seeks will come to the same conclusion (as you)?



My point precisely..



DominaJade -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/9/2005 9:59:25 AM)

Seems my wording was misunderstood.

I love trampling, and have had the experience of trampling barefoot a couple of times. So trampling as an activity is a positive experience for me. What I meant is that the next Mistress he comes across should be cautious about trampling with high heels into his abdomine. So before we start arguing - I want to be clear, trampling when done safely with consent of both parties is a good thing.



Haileypain -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/9/2005 4:13:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05

quote:

I seek real advice from true Mistress's or Domme's.

=======

hmm--i HATE true-isms.

whom is to say WHOM is TRUE?

wolf


As in ever aspect of life. There are those whom choose to play dress up and those whom choose to live it. I wish to learn from those who have the wisdom of experience. Not chit chat with posers or men/women pretending to be something they are not. I do not want to offend anyone. It has been my experience out here on the net. That not all is what it appears to be, all the time.

So please forgive my jaded remark, if it truely offends you.

To the rest of you. Thank you so much for your affirmation of my style. I have alas found my niche, so to speak. Now to put some of what I've learnt in to good sinful use. lol. I have a ways to go yet. So by all means keep them comming. TY.



cravefeet -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/9/2005 5:30:56 PM)

I love to be trampled in heels,having the angry heel marks parade my body, it's an ultimate high. I got started into this liestyle in 1998 because of my love for footworship and trampling and I haven't experienced an injury.
harry



MHOO314 -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/11/2005 8:42:59 AM)

I often go back to a statement made by a dear sub friend of mine, just because one is dominant or submissive doesn't mean that dynamic works for or with EVERYONE---hence, the " you are too soft for me.." I too, when I started to become really active in the Life, became concerned that I wasn't a Domme because I didn't inflict dramatic pain or excruciating torture--or I wasn't into constant punishment--but I AM wicked, I DO dominate and I have My own style, that's the thing to remember, who are YOU and what is comfortable and natural to YOU, dont be guided by what subs say, if you find your path, you will indeed find subs that will blend with that style--it's no different than in vanilla---if everyone was meant to mesh with everyone, we'd all be married to each other! Smiles, To thine ownself be true..."



kc692 -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/11/2005 9:17:33 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz

Sensual Domme is a great term. There is another term, not so much fun...topping from the bottom. Over the years I have been told I was not a true Dominant because I...did not dress in black latex, do not wear thigh high boots with 6 inch heels, do not have adequate whipping skills (I don't use whips, floggers, but not whips), because I do not inflict hours of pain on a bound and gagged sub (my arm gets tired <grin>), and a long list of other things.

You will run into many ignorant subs, when that happens be grateful that you discovered it that day, and not weeks or months later. There is nothing wrong with finding that you are not compatible with another human. I have told many subs that I cannot meet their needs for extreme pain or extreme bondage. Those things do not interest me. Do not let an angry person shake your confidence, in any area of your life.

Over time you will add and remove things from the list of things that you enjoy. Enjoy the journey.

Bright Blessings,

Cloudz


I agree with you Cloudz, I know quite a few dommes some pro, and even those do not wear 6 inch heels and black latex...latex is hot, and heels are uncomfortable, smiles.



PrincessRya -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/12/2005 8:03:32 AM)

Thanks Haileypain for bringing up this subject. I felt the same as you but now reading all the posts it seems that Domme is title we take on and then add our own personality to and that is what makes it so much fun.



MistRosemary -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/14/2005 9:46:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn




I have been referred to as a soft Domme.

I have had similar reactions from men who have come to see me for dominant workout and got just that. The one thing these scenes always had in common was I took control of the proceedings from the onset. One late night visitor was told to get on his knees the moment he walked through the door and crawl to the playroom. Another was tied up by his own shirt and made to kneel with a bucket on his head till I could be bothered with him. And so on and so on.

< ... snip>
Other forced areas are chastity, blackmail, bi-sexual, submission...physical overpowerment/mental overpowerment... all happening for different reasons for the individual, their need for it (domination) to happen this way and that...

Part of the problem for a lot of men who identify as having a need for 'female domination' and get with a so-called 'sensual dominant' is 'sensual dominance' is *too* accommodating.

<snip> sorry this has turned into bit of an essay so I'll stop now... but hope some of what I've said makes sense and helps a bit.


I enjoyed reading you... and the images your experiences provided...

Thanks



HeavenlyCeleste -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/15/2005 7:52:51 AM)

You are the Domina...do as you please. It's about what makes *YOU* happy.



MsElle -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/15/2005 6:27:14 PM)


Personally, I am much more of a psychological dominant that a physical one, but I only say that because my own motivations are very much in the mental power exchange of D/s, and not because I eschew the physical dimension of it. The physical connection is just as important to building a strong dynamic - and even though pain does not play a big role for me, it can have a place sometimes, depending on the person and the relationship.

What I don't care for is the simplistic physical acts that don't engage the mind, the personal energy between myself and my slaves - I will never engage in a physical pain session just because that seems to be 'expected'. Truth is, I rarely do anything that seems to be 'expected'. *smile*

~MsElle



LadySonelle -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/15/2005 7:30:56 PM)

When I was in medical school we had to learn to do such things as minor cutting, sutures, injections, passing catheters, doing skin scrapings, treating wounds, debridement and other procedures (a LOT of this experience comes in handy in BDSM!)
We students were squeamish at first, but we soon learned that most of the minor stuff we were doing was not lethal or even harmful, but beneficial instead! We learned to deal with the cries of patients (rotation through pediatrics and the ER) and found that after a while, we had developed a sort of inner armor of compassion that enabled us to handle it.

When I took My abilities to BDSM, I found I had to re-calibrate because doing whippings bothered Me... but a year's intership as a submissive gave Me a better understanding of how pain works in the BDSM paradigm.

So long as you understand that most (not all) of the techniques we use as Dominants are *not* lethal in the levels we administer them, we can accept and handle the pain we inflict.

I believe in the physics law "every action has an opposite but equal reaction" and I know that every whipstroke, every paddle blow that brings our subs closer to ecstasy toughens us and leads us farther from that sensitivity that makes the infliciting of pain difficult. Indeed, that is why I test EVERY toy I play with on myself periodically in order to KNOW what it feels like!

After a while you will find that it is easier and you have the right blend of skill and compassion that makes a good Dominant.

Lady Sonelle



pandora29 -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/16/2005 12:26:38 PM)

I have to thank you for starting this thread,i have been in the same situation and was wondering pretty much the same things.I have learned alot from A/all that have answered and will continue to follow this thread close.



Haileypain -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/16/2005 5:53:04 PM)

I may be a bit bias, but this is my fav thread. I don't even have to keep it going. I just drop in daily and read and learn some more. Thanks to everyone, so very much.



Jasmyn -> RE: The hardships of a soft Domme. (11/16/2005 6:06:04 PM)

Thank you :) appreciate the compliment



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