RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (Full Version)

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Tristan -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 5:53:14 AM)

OK, how many believe that this so called domme who asking for $18K is going to tell her potential submissive that "you pay my debt and I will neither see you or speak to you again"? If she does, then that's fine. There is no exploitation.

My best guess is that when she finds an interested submissive, she will imply that there will be some sort of relationship if he pays her debt. This is the problem. False consent is a nice way for scammers to absolve themselves of the responsibility of their scam.

Someone mentioned Native Americans as an example. This is probably a good example for this type of scam. They signed away large areas due to false promises (not to mention some desperation). If the so called domme asking for $18K is also making false promises of a relationship, I see little difference in scams.




PatentLeatherMdm -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 7:28:00 AM)

While it may not be your approach, I'm sure that this posting appealed to someone. The fact that money slaves exist is no secret! A submissive who wishes to provide for a Mistresses needs, whether they be sexual, emotional or financial is a valued commodity. The interchange or exchange between Dominant and submissive and the service that evolves from it is best negotiated between them: and not us (that's as it should be). What this ProDomme does is offers the truth: point blank and not candy-coated: bravo! How does one consider the submissive who states up front that he wishes only to serve as a full-toilet: shocking - no, but rather direct. His/her application will undoubtedly find its mark!




domtimothy46176 -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 7:28:57 AM)

Apparently I have misunderstood what I've read and, if that is so, I apologize for misinterpreting your words.

quote:

ORIGINAL: strongnsubmissiv

I know this topic has been beat to death, but it saddens me to see such blatant opportunism. It's one thing to say that financial domination is a legitimate kink, but to actually state a specific dollar amount in a profile is just pathetic.

I suspect she thinks that submissive men are chumps to fall for that kind of crap, and it just saddens me.

sns


I thought this post was clearly pointing out your conclusion that, rather than a legtimate kink, the domme in question was an opportunist with a pathetic offer only a chump would fall for. Perhaps you would help be willing to help me ferret out the true meaning of your words.



My point simply is that the profile in question is just so blatantly obvious. Stating intentions up front doesn't make it right, and i fail to see how paying a huge financial debt for someone has anything to do with BDSM.

There's a reason this woman posted the profile here, and not on a vanilla site stating the same conditions. It has the potential to exploit a sexually submissive male, who just might be confused about his sexuality.

In my opinion it's shameful; regardless of what is stated upfront.

sns



When reading this post, I saw the word "blatant" and assumed, rightly or wrongly, that this was in reference to your previous use of the word "opportunism", as this second post appears to be a continuation of the OP. This second post, however, does seem to make a case that, since "Stating intentions up front doesn't make it right..." that there are no circumstances where two consenting adults can enjoy such an arrangement unless the submissive is a "chump" or the submissive is "confused about his sexuality". You don't leave open the possibility that a submissive male might be able to make a reasoned judgement that such an arrangement met his needs.
You make it clear that this type of agreement isn't your cup of tea, and that's fine. You also state that you "fail to see how paying a huge financial debt for someone has anything to do with BDSM" and I understand that position also. I have encountered many activities that don't define BDSM for me, personally. I think you would have been better served, however, had you stopped short of stating, "In my opinion it's shameful; regardless of what is stated upfront." Your phrasing indicates not that you would be ashamed to engage in such activities, but that any who would do so should be ashamed. That's a judgement that each individual is allowed to make for himself. If two people choose to pursue such an arrangement, they need not feel ashamed simply because others don't find it appealing.
Perhaps this better explain why I wrote, "My question is a simple one, on what basis have you determined that two consenting adults are not free to choose the basis for their own dynamic?" Your posts indicate a position that is intolerant of profiles stating certain requirements and indicate that those who would respond in a positive way to those requirements are "chumps", "confused about...sexuality" and "shameful". Such a position does, in fact, appear to contradict the idea represented in your tagline that a submissive can also be strong, at least as I define strength to represent not just physical strength but also emotional and intellectual strengths.
I do hope that I have clarified not just my position, but also how I interpreted the phrasing in your own posts, to which I was responding.
Be well,
Timothy






Soulhuntre -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 10:09:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JustaTop
Honestly,the way you people here twist and turn things to suit your selfishness is truly astounding at times. We call that "being a sociopath".


Ho is it "sociopathic" to desire someone to pay you money for a service, or to serve their own fetish?

I knwo a number of females who have "money slaves" and for these guys it is just that - a fetish. They are not being cammed or taken advantage of. They like the feeling of working and giving what they see as the most useful product they can offer (they feel it is money and resources) to someoen they feel is worthy of those benefits. I know of money slaves who get off, serious off, on giving money to women who will not even talk to them.

You don't have to like it. You don't have to understand it. The reality is that it is out there, it is consensual and it is a legitimate fetish.

So here we have someoen on this site who built a profile that matched the fetish of those she wants to attract. Thats fine by me. I can't imagine how that makes anyone involved a "sociopath".

These judgments are always so amusing :)

You can hear peopel out there who hate BDSM sayign the same things...

"That man says he is going to tie up and beat the women who come to live with him! That sick sadistic rapist socipopath! And the fact that he says this up front and calls it BDSM changes nothing!"




PrincessinLatex -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 11:17:59 AM)

quote:

... till i saw a Femdom profile with this...

The first task is for you to pay off my debts which equal 18,000
Do not come to me grovelling that you can't or won't do these things.

I know this topic has been beat to death, but it saddens me to see such blatant opportunism. It's one thing to say that financial domination is a legitimate kink, but to actually state a specific dollar amount in a profile is just pathetic.

I suspect she thinks that submissive men are chumps to fall for that kind of crap, and it just saddens me.

Takes all kinds i guess..


She is clearly selling her self short by stating a specific dollar amount. If she left it open=ended. . .she might be able to get even MORE!

*wink*

Princess




erebus -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 11:20:10 AM)

Yeah, I personally don't get the whole idea of giving something (money) to someone who give nothing in return. What's the point?

Why not give that money to a worthy cause? Curing cancer or heart disease or funding animal rescue has to have some positive emotional reward, doesn't it?

I remember reading a fem dom post where they wanted free workers in their business, no relationship, no benefits, nothing. They weren't even into kink. They just wanted to lower their business costs.

Delusional, IMO.




Phoenixandnika -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 11:25:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: erebus

Yeah, I personally don't get the whole idea of giving something (money) to someone who give nothing in return. What's the point?

Delusional, IMO.


Doesn't this happen every time we take someone out on a date or go out on a date with someone else?

Nika{Phoenix}





OsideGirl -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 11:49:07 AM)

Hey, ya know, I'm worth the $18k. [;)]




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 1:49:12 PM)

quote:

so called domme who asking for $18K is going to tell her potential submissive that "you pay my debt and I will neither see you or speak to you again"? If she does, then that's fine. There is no exploitation.
I understand that it's wrong to take advantage of people, but you are judging this so called domme as probably someone simply out to rip someone off of $18,000, and if anyone knows a man who is giving that much money away without any dating/play, could you all point him to my profile please?

As has been stated humans deceive each other all the time in order to get their needs met. How many women have been lied to by married/single men simply to get into their pants, and these women end up losing much more than what money can buy in terms of self respect/self esteem. It is up to each person to use his/her best judgement when taking risks.
IMO when someone states his intent upfront, he is giving me the respect and opportunity to make an informed choice.
There's a parallel thread to this where an attached man took a lady's heart, her money and her sense of self under the guise of dominance. If my worst problems with men had been their stating honest intentions to use me upfront, I would be the most greatful woman alive. M




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 1:50:04 PM)

quote:

She is clearly selling her self short by stating a specific dollar amount. If she left it open=ended. . .she might be able to get even MORE!

*wink*
Princess
I agree that she is selling herself short. [8D] M




krys -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 1:52:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

She is clearly selling her self short by stating a specific dollar amount. If she left it open=ended. . .she might be able to get even MORE!

*wink*
Princess
I agree that she is selling herself short. [8D] M


Ah but it only says the first task is the $18k debt. Not that it is the only task.




sting516 -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 2:11:12 PM)

i'm always amazed at those who defend ripping people off in the name of the bdsm lovestyle....here's a thought...get to know someone, and maybe they won't object to helping you out once a relationship has developed...yeah...but then that person might actually have to put some effort in.

sting




Delvin -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 2:40:25 PM)

All I can say is...amazing...

perhaps the best thing is to ban everyone who doesn't fall in line with a certain moral code outlined by the select few. Or, perhaps...even better...

chuckle at the profile....sip your favorite drink....and move on with your life.

Have a great day

:)




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 2:43:13 PM)

quote:

All I can say is...amazing...

perhaps the best thing is to ban everyone who doesn't fall in line with a certain moral code outlined by the select few. Or, perhaps...even better...

chuckle at the profile....sip your favorite drink....and move on with your life.
Dear Delvin, Simple as that may seem, it too requires a healthy effort. [;)] M




PrincessinLatex -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 3:55:35 PM)

quote:

All I can say is...amazing...

perhaps the best thing is to ban everyone who doesn't fall in line with a certain moral code outlined by the select few. Or, perhaps...even better...

chuckle at the profile....sip your favorite drink....and move on with your life.

Have a great day


[sarcasm]Hell no! It's way more fun to start a threat about it and bitch bitch bitch! [/sarcasm]

*wink*

Princess




Delvin -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/15/2005 7:58:39 PM)

True enough :)




domtimothy46176 -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/16/2005 1:31:14 AM)

I will admit to taking a perverse pleasure in a good debate about issues that don't affect me. I find that the less impacted by something I am, the better I can argue a position, any position on the topic. The reason I find it so easy to argue a position that doesn't affect me is because I can do it without getting caught up in the emotional overtones related to a topic.
While I've been known to argue the moral/ethical implications of certain behaviors, I can't see getting emotionally charged about the example given in the OP. I may be guilty of "reading between the lines", but the arguments I've seen deriding that profile seem specious, at best. I would much prefer to see a profile that read, for example, "I will lie to you for years and then show my true colors when you're at your most vulnerable, thereby doing my best to destroy you, as well as all the hopes and dreams you've constructed for us both." than to discover such the hard way.
Maybe it's just me with my wacky sense of ethics, but within the framework of my beliefs, it not a question of whether or not "stating up front makes it right" but that stating your position up front makes it possible for informed consent. As often as we see folks bemoaning how they were hoodwinked, you would think there would be points given for honesty, regardless of how brazen the requirement.
Timothy




misskittyslave -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/16/2005 3:08:53 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: strongnsubmissiv



... till i saw a Femdom profile with this...

The first task is for you to pay off my debts which equal 18,000
Do not come to me grovelling that you can't or won't do these things.


I know this topic has been beat to death, but it saddens me to see such blatant opportunism. It's one thing to say that financial domination is a legitimate kink, but to actually state a specific dollar amount in a profile is just pathetic.

I suspect she thinks that submissive men are chumps to fall for that kind of crap, and it just saddens me.

Takes all kinds i guess..


sns

what scares me are the ones that dont advertise that is what they are after you for sucker you in make you believe in them, then as you are driving around taking them on errands you find yourself at their landlords doorstep with them saying you did remember your checkbook didnt you...stunned and so far in you find yourself thinking i have got to get the hell out of here and find yourself writing the check so they dont hurt you or the ones you have come to care about.




target -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/16/2005 10:12:49 AM)

Not sure which side is right here... those who condemn other people, or those who condemn other people....for condemning other people. Next post...




strongnsubmissiv -> RE: Thought i'd seen it all till... (10/16/2005 12:27:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: target

Not sure which side is right here... those who condemn other people, or those who condemn other people....for condemning other people. Next post...



LOL... yes it's all clear as mud isn't it? I will admit, that i probably started this thread a little out of haste and perhaps didn't choose my words as carefully as i should have or thought it out thoroughly. Still, upon initial reading of this woman's demands, she just rubbed me the wrong way and i felt there was potential for harm there.

I realize i can just skip over it and go on to the next profile, that wasn't the point really. I merely shared an opinion in the forums here and expressed my feelings towards her profile.

Anyway, it was great to read the many different opinions that were spawned by this thread and in a nutshell, that's what it's all about really.

sns




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