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Oedalis -> RE: finding a second sub for Master (9/21/2005 10:42:41 PM)
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Well, I am the third in a polyamorous 24/7 relationship and, from my own point of view, I have to say that a big part of it is making sure a potential third party feels that they *wouldn't* be treated like the "Insignificant Other" or the fifth wheel or like three is a crowd and that both of you really want and are ready for a third person!
Too often, it seems, some masters intimidate their submissives into finding them a second sub when the first one isn't really ready or without reassuring their faithful submissive that they won't be replaced in their heart. My master spends a lot of time and energy ensuring both I and my sister slave feel that we are of equal importance to him and are equally cherished. And that's something that we all have to be vigilant of---making sure that everyone feels loved and important to the relationship and that we all share in the relationship---it's not just two couples, it's three.
I do think it will be very hard to find someone who's willing to be just a toy all the time, yet will concede to restricting themselves sexually and relationship-wise to just you two IF that's what you're looking for.
And yeah, while there are benefits to you being the one doing most of the looking, such as being able to screen out people who might try to usurp your position rather than share the love (afterall, if you get along with each other and like each other, it's less likely that she'll be inclined to turn into a master-stealing bitch), it's also very important that your master's personality comes through in your profile. And no I don't necessarily think you can't find your special third online as I met my two special people on Bondage.com where my master had put up a very welcoming profile seeking a second "little girl".
And truthfully, when I first came to them both, I was not looking for anything remotely resembling a 24/7 arrangement---I just wanted some fairly steady play partners. So you might have to be flexible with who you find and be open to welcoming someone who's equally open to trying it out, even if they aren't down-to-the-last-detail perfect for you---just hope that it might grow into something more, that they'll be flexible in turn and grow to love both of you enough to want to become a family with you.
Doing the polyamory thing is really challenging. You have to stay super on top of communication and head off budding emotional issues or anything else that comes up, fast, before it gets too ugly. So you might want to stipulate in your profile that you're looking for someone who knows their mind and heart and is open enough to talk freely about both in a frank manner. It also helps if all of you sincerely want to make it work.
Okay, now, enough of my rambling post. Good luck and best wishes in your search and, if you have a moment, let me know how it goes. [:)] I always love hearing about others' perspectives on the poly thing. [;)]
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