Discipline / Punishment

Discipline / Punishment (Full Version)

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Sartoris32801 -> Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 8:58:46 AM)
Discipline / Punishment How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship? Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency? Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given. Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal? Noted that the boundaries will differ between D/s and M/s what are your thoughts and or,experiences?

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 9:13:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sartoris32801 Discipline / Punishment How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship? I'm expected to be disciplined and well-behaved within the guidelines of the Owner at all times. Punishment is adminstered for willful/repeated mistakes. quote: Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency? Not consistently, but otherwise yes. quote: Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given. I don't have the "right" but I am usually allowed to question them if I feel the need. I'm still obligated to obey. quote: Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal? Ah this one. We don't have safe words at any time so no. If you use a safe word to mean "that's too much" then I can see why you would remove a safe word during punishment. If you use a safe word to mean "somethings wrong" then I see no reason why it wouldn't be just as valid during punishment as it would any other time. quote: Noted that the boundaries will differ between D/s and M/s what are your thoughts and or,experiences? Why would boundaries differ? I know Ds relationships that get into a lot more punishment dynamic than Ms ones do. I think most people don't use punishment effectively, don't know how to use discipline effectively and don't communicate until things are a huge mess. Punishment is best when delivered immediately and directly to the CAUSE of the problem. Putting someone in a corner for being late doesn't teach them how to manage their time better.

Sartoris32801 -> RE: Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 9:29:40 AM)
__________________________________________________________________________ EmeraldSlave2 I think most people don't use punishment effectively, don't know how to use discipline effectively and don't communicate until things are a huge mess. Punishment is best when delivered immediately and directly to the CAUSE of the problem. Putting someone in a corner for being late doesn't teach them how to manage their time better. __________________________________________________________________________ EmeraldSlave2, I couldn't agree more! More often that not punishment is in fact a reward. One persons punishment is anothers reward, and it's necessary to learn the distinction between what will modify a behavior and what will reinforce it. My thoughts using your example would be to cancel the venue, activity, that was planned, but only if it were an event that she was looking forward to. If she were late deliberatly to avoid the event, activitity I would lean toward immediate coporal. Sartoris Sartoris

JohnWarren -> RE: Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 9:33:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sartoris32801 Discipline / Punishment How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship? Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency? Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given. Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal? Noted that the boundaries will differ between D/s and M/s what are your thoughts and or,experiences? I don't use "punishment." If a submissive does something that displeases me then I tell her and explain that I don't want it to happen again. Should she repeat the behavior, I will re-evaluate the relationship. First, the kind of people I associate with are not the kind to react well to punishment. For example, I was able to maintain discipline in a special op platoon with just glances and a few well chosen words. Those men were motivated by pride and respect. I expect the same from the submissives with whom I associate. Second, I don't really believe punishment works in a long term situation. This doesn't mean I don't do pain play, but I won't be manipulated into it by misbehavior. If my partner wants pain play, I'm fully able to participate to a level that most people wouldn't even consider. [Note, for example, that I've modified a field-telephone generator to connect to TENS accessories including dildoes and butt plugs.]

lonewolf05 -> RE: Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 9:35:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sartoris32801 Discipline / Punishment How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship? Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency? Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given. Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal? Noted that the boundaries will differ between D/s and M/s what are your thoughts and or,experiences? ------------------ whoa sure a lotta questions.....but y'okay i can deal with it i think.. how are punishment and discipline used? as corrective measures! reserved? naw not just for willful since i do NOT willingly do something wrong it isn't as if i am a brat i am just one trying damned hard to please and at times end up with two left feet and get myself in trouble w/o knowing i did it. consistent? naw not enough time in one day for everything can i question? yeah but i am always told why before it starts... safe words? no not usually........but She knows when i cannot handle much more. wolfie

ChereeAmoor -> RE: Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 9:50:07 AM)
Both are used, although punishment is rare. It is consistent and used for willful violations - safe words are always around and likewise seldom in use.

plantlady64 -> RE: Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 9:59:01 AM)
quote: Discipline / Punishment How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship? Hello There, Dicipline and punishments are very different things in my relationship with my Master. Dicipline to me is something I know I'm supposed to do that I really would rather not. Doing things that my Master wants me to do regardless of feeling like it give me Dicipline. For example I do all the cooking and cleaning of our home. I know doing this pleases my Master. There are days I just plain don't want to, but do anyway for him. It takes Dicipline to adhear to the rules and guidlines my Master's laid out for us to live in a harmonious home. I also watch my weight, make sure I shave, make sure I stretch and other things that I do on a daily basis to please him and stay healthy. Punishment is SEVERE and only if I have done something I knew was wrong in advance. For instance one time in open play I forgot to add Sir after yes. He pinched the crap out of my nipple and it blead. That was a punishment. Punishments to me are never wanted and never fun. On top of the fact they are physically painful they are also emotionally devistating to me as dissapointing my Master cuts my heart to the quick and leaves me in tears as I feel I failed Him. Sincerely, sub suzanne

obis -> RE: Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 10:06:30 AM)
quote: Discipline / Punishment How are both or either used in your D/s M/s relationship? Is punishment reserved for willful violations and administered quickly with consistency? Punishment is administered for breaking any rules (rules that both of us have agreed on). If they break the rules willfully, it is much worse. Punishment is always dealt immediately, it is not mentally fair to wait on a punishment since the farther from the bad act it is given, the more is "feels" capricious. quote: Do you have the right to question disciplinary actions or are you obligated to obey them when given. Are safe words used in punishment if the punishment is corporal? She has the right to question anything she likes, including punishment, play, or what movie we're going to watch (the movie one she uses all too often! [:)]). She does NOT have the right to try to negotiate a lesser punishment or try to get out of it. Once I have decided she needs punishment, I will explain to her why at whatever length is necessary, but she WILL receive the punishment. At any time she can call a safeword and I will immediately stop everything, even punishment. Either she must leave or I will leave when she uses that option. The safeword is a get out of jail free card she can play at any time and she knows I will respect it. Only her pride and trust in me keeps her from ever using it.

FTopinMichigan -> RE: Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 11:49:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: plantlady64 Punishment is SEVERE and only if I have done something I knew was wrong in advance. For instance one time in open play I forgot to add Sir after yes. He pinched the crap out of my nipple and it blead. I would hate to think what might've been done if you actually did something that was horrible unsafe to yourself or others, and would seriously warrant a punishment. Not saying "sir," to me, is something that is done, out of the heat of passion, and being lost in thought, or an inadvertent omission, hardly deliberate in most cases, and I surely don't see it worth causing someone to bleed. My sympathies, if you are ever really in trouble. I never understood the severe punishments administered for minor offenses. It takes away from the goal of helping to correct someone, and while causing pain or loss is the goal of a punishment, the torture for a minor omission just seems very extreme to me. K (my own take/observation, not trying to judge, but probably am [;)])

stef -> RE: Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 11:58:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sartoris32801 I couldn't agree more! More often that not punishment is in fact a reward. No, it's not. If it's an activity that the 'victim' views as a reward, then by definition it isn't punishment. ~stef

nella -> RE: Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 12:18:58 PM)
We use coporal punishment but we dont use safewords, becouse we dont use them period, we talk whit one another if somthing is wrong. my Dom can corect smal mistakes whit a stern word or a smak on the ass, and i find a stern word more dificult to handle, punishment is for serious things. Will punishment wary between S/M and D/s, yes i belive so, in a pure sadisem and maroshisem relationship, painplay is the most inportant, not corecting behavior. Thous theese relationships can be mixed and often are.

comesoncommand -> RE: Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 12:25:58 PM)
Like everything in the lifestyle, E/everyone has many many definitions for common terms. In my relationship with my Master, discipline is simply a reminder of my place. W/we have TPE 24/7, but there are daily distractions such as work, errands, picking up kids, etc. that can cause this girl to stray from the perfect sub place. It isn't a result of being in trouble, just a friendly reminder smile. Punishment, however, is for a specific infraction. Like plantlady, i hate having displeased my Master and the emotional aspect makes the physical feel that much worst.

nella -> RE: Discipline / Punishment (9/20/2005 2:20:28 PM)
Well that is aboute how i see it as well.

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