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LadiesBladewing -> When the first time was perfect... (9/19/2005 6:37:38 PM)
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We had an extraordinary "first time" poly experience. We had a group family that fit well together, everyone was on the same page, we were cognizant of one another's needs, and we were compatible on multiple levels. At the time, our core was 2 dominants, a slave, and a "neutral", who didn't really participate in the D/s structure of the household, but was comfortable with being around it and having it openly expressed. One of our members had had a previous successful poly relationship that was "until death do us part". We were also spiritually connected and celebrated a conjoined but flexible spiritual path that nourished all of us.
We also had an "extended" poly family--an outer ring who had outside attachments and didn't mesh as closely as the core, but who were committed to the household and the family. We lived that way for almost 6 years....
We didn't choose to split our family apart, but 2 households moved overseas because of philosophical disagreements with the culture in our country, and our core lost 2 members over time --one to illness and the other to a work accident.
We loved living poly, and our experiences made our years together some of the happiest in our lives. Now, 4 years later, we are trying to welcome that back into our lives, shaping a new family from the remnants of the old, and weaving in newcomers who seem to be a good fit.
Unfortunately, we've run into a snag -- none of the individuals that we've spent time with seems to be a good fit. We miss what we had, and are finding it impossible to find people who mesh well--there is always one or another aspect out of place...and often so -far- out of place that we would have to completely change the structure of our existence to be able to include them. Not that some change isn't good--but how do you re-build poly when your previous experiences were a resounding success, but no-one you've met in 4 years of searching (and not just D/s searching, but searching through spiritual-growth connections, philosophical connections, etc.) seems to be able to survive the "transition" into your household.
I promise that, though we have high expectations, we've never been less than honest from the start about what those expectations are, and we try to be open and give people the opportunity to ask questions and discuss the challenging topics...And we keep trying and keep hoping, and keep welcoming people who -may- be a good fit, just in case there are some out there who will be right for us.
I'm just wondering if there is anything we've forgotten that we -could- be doing, to find people who are compatible with what we have to offer.
Lady Zephyr
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