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the dance - 7/11/2004 7:53:11 PM   
baileythorne


Posts: 264
Joined: 6/6/2004
Status: offline 		I recently took a Argentine Tango class. We were learing to dance the close embrace and there was full body contact - if you wanted to do the dance correctly. The follower should actually lean into the leader to some extent to create compression (tension) between the two bodies so as to have the best ongoing connection.

With some partners, I leaned in and they were sturdy and recipricated. With most I leaned in and they eased away to create the space they were comfortable with.

And I have to chuckle because I've done this same dance in relationships over the years. I realized I need to just skip the ones that back away and zero in on the ones that are up to the challenge of sharing space to forge a connection.

What other analogies help you to keep you focused on making the best choices for yourself?

--bailey

_____________________________

Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.
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RE: the dance - 7/11/2004 8:34:04 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1199
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: baileythorne

I recently took a Argentine Tango class.


As a ballet and professional ballroom dancer, I have always seen the connection between dance and BDSM. I have seriously studied ballet and ballroom dance for the past 6 years (dancing as much as 40 hours a week) and I have noticed a decided connection to BDSM in these disciplines. In ballet, the structure, the unconditionally obedience to the Ballet Master, and the dedication required have remarkable echoes in the kind of D/s I personally like to practice. In ballroom dance, the lead, the power flow, and the intimate connection (that isn’t always sexual) remind me so much of a scene that I find myself stunned sometimes by the similarity.

I have always thought that a classically trained dancer would make an excellent slave. And even though I have not had a lifetime of dance, I find that I am able to bring much of what has been taught to me (the posture, the grace, the eye to line and form) into my D/s practices. I find that I can bring an aesthetic precision to my positions and rituals that simply was impossible before I studied dance.

Bailey, do you dance any other of the partner dances? One of the things I am so looking forward to teaching Berlin is how to partner dance.

Yours,
Taggard

< Message edited by TallDarkAndWitty -- 7/11/2004 8:38:39 PM >

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.
http://bdsm.taggard.net

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RE: the dance - 7/11/2004 8:44:02 PM   
anthrosub


Posts: 453
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline 		Forgive me but as i was reading baileythorne's post, i couldn't help glancing over at the avatar to the left and getting this image in my head of her dancing "partner." As i read each sentence, it made me start to laugh and i couldn't stop. Please...this is meant in pure jest. No offense, just some good chuckles.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"Stop thinking...and end your problems." - Lao Tzu

"There is a great deal of pain in life and perhaps the only pain that can be avoided is the pain that comes from trying to avoid pain." - R. D. Laing

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RE: the dance - 7/11/2004 8:48:55 PM   
January


Posts: 360
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		LOL! Thanks for pointing that out, anthro!

(in reply to anthrosub)
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RE: the dance - 7/11/2004 9:03:27 PM   
baileythorne


Posts: 264
Joined: 6/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anthrosub

Forgive me but as i was reading baileythorne's post, i couldn't help glancing over at the avatar to the left and getting this image in my head of her dancing "partner." As i read each sentence, it made me start to laugh and i couldn't stop. Please...this is meant in pure jest. No offense, just some good chuckles.

anthrosub


No offense taken :-)

But I'd rather give you a different visual: http://www.baileythorne.com/SCCLATango

This was an occaision I could combine the two things I'm passionate about: dancing & BDSM.

Yummy.

--bailey

_____________________________

Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.

(in reply to anthrosub)
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RE: the dance - 7/11/2004 9:05:58 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		Hello,

As a former modern dancer and currently being enthralled with East Coast swing and Lindy Hop, I have to agree that the parallels between BDSM and dance are almost shocking to me.

There is a sexist aspect to this since the male is the traditional lead. On the other hand, tonight I was learning a new pop turn with the two male instructors where I was leading them, or being led by them to demonstrate, so I am not sure it is a deal breaker. I suppose a Domme/malesub couple could be taught to reverse who leads if it mattered to them.

But in dance the male leads his partner, and her movements transcend what she can do alone. Similarly, having her as his partner allows him to do things which transcend what he can do by himself. There is a synergy to two well-matched partners that I find a peak experience for me, both watching and doing.

This is the reason I have found places I can go dancing 6 nights a week, and if I want to pony up for a season pass to DisneyLand I can go whenever I want.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to January)
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RE: the dance - 7/11/2004 9:06:28 PM   
Sundew02


Posts: 458
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		The response a person has to music is always an interesting indicator of their willingness to let go and enjoy life. Unlike other medias it is more of an active involvement than a sit and watch thing. If a male can sit passively and listen to the most stimualting music tells me he is not what I want. You have hit upon my passions, music and dance. Can I dance well? lol, no. That is not the point of enjoying music. Many males do not see the connection between life and music, and remain goal oriented. My choice of males are the ones that enjoy the ride as well as the end of the journey. Sundew

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~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

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RE: the dance - 7/11/2004 9:08:44 PM   
baileythorne


Posts: 264
Joined: 6/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

Bailey, do you dance any other of the partner dances?



I started out as an east coast swing dancer. I then found C&W. Yep. Country & Western. I completed nationally in Two Step, Waltz, Polka, Cha Cha, East & West Coast swing. Did it quite obsessively for about 8 years.

I can fake a salsa. I do an passable hustle.

But most recently I found Argentine Tango. Once again I find myself challenged and that is a place I like to be. It seems to require the most skill to follow. And is incredibly sexy. Expecially close enbrace.

I had foot surgery about 7 weeks ago and I'm currently "benched" but plan to be back at it in the next few months.

Following a leader evokes submission for me. No wonder I did this for so long before I found the BDSM community.

--bailey

< Message edited by baileythorne -- 7/12/2004 12:11:17 AM >

_____________________________

Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
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RE: the dance - 7/11/2004 9:17:03 PM   
anthrosub


Posts: 453
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline 		baileythorne...
Thank you for the link...it all looks very gracious. i'm glad you understood my post.

Sundew02...
i had to reply to say i know exactly what You mean about music. i've had many times where i was simply incapable of standing still, even when alone and other times music has brought me to tears, crying openly with emotional release and joy or sending a chill down my spine that was almost frightening. i've even heard music that touched something inside so deeply, i could have sworn i heard it before even though it had just been released.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"Stop thinking...and end your problems." - Lao Tzu

"There is a great deal of pain in life and perhaps the only pain that can be avoided is the pain that comes from trying to avoid pain." - R. D. Laing

(in reply to Sundew02)
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RE: the dance - 7/11/2004 9:55:16 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		Can you dance well?

There are so many things I have issue with in that sentence sundew02.

1) Who is critiquing your dancing?
a) If you are, perhaps you are being too hard on yourself.
b) If you think other people are, the secret is to pretend that the horrible mistake you made
throwing your partner into a speaker was what you intended to do.

2) How do you define dancing well?
a) Dancing is about feelings, finding the music, the beat, flowing with it, making it transcendant over
what it is without you dancing.
b) Dancing is NOT about thinking. If you are thinking while you are dancing you are NOT really dancing.
c) There is too much (my opinion here) to pay attention to when partner (or troupe) dancing to think about
your own personal performance.

I mentioned on another post that the words of Fight Club (Just let go!) apply here. You need to stop thinking about how you are doing and chase the feeling.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to anthrosub)
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RE: the dance - 7/11/2004 9:58:04 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

You need to stop thinking about how you are doing and chase the feeling.


Hrm, rereading this and I had another comment.

This to me is the essence of the dance we do in BDSM.

When I am scening my sub, I am not thinking.

When she is being scened, neither is she.

There is a feeling the two of us are chasing in our own personal way of chasing it.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: the dance - 7/12/2004 7:52:13 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1199
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: baileythorne
I started out as an east coast swing dancer. I then found C&W. Yep. Country & Western. I completed nationally in Two Step, Waltz, Polka, Cha Cha, East & West Coast swing. Did it quite obsessively for about 8 years.

I can fake a salsa. I do an passable hustle.


Let's make the July 31st dinner in a place with a dance floor. I promise to take it easy on your ankle. *smile*

Yours,
Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.
http://bdsm.taggard.net

(in reply to baileythorne)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: the dance - 7/12/2004 8:16:20 AM   
ModeratorOne


Posts: 877
Status: offline 		Wow I didnt realize there were so many Ballroom dancers into BDSM!

I love watching Argentine tango. I have wanted to learn it for quite a while now and just never seem to make the time for it. WCS, Salsa and Viennese waltz are my favorite to dance.

BTW do any of our NYers go to Midsummer Night Swing?

I cant believe I am admitting this but I actually enjoy Contra dancing and I have taken some folk dance classes that I have enjoyed as well and plan on getting back into it.

I love music and dance or expression in all forms. Whenever I see a great couple dance together it just grabs my attention and just touches me in this spiritual way. Sadly it winds up that almost every person I have ever been involved with sexually refuses to even try dancing. My latest obsession is one that doesnt need a partner and will be kept a secret for now, at least until I get a bit better at it.


I am just so excited to see so many dancers on the forum!

BTW: Beautiful pics, Bailey.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
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RE: the dance - 7/12/2004 8:24:26 AM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 830
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

I have to agree that the parallels between BDSM and dance are almost shocking to me.


I've never given that any thought either, but I can certainly see it here! Incredible! I was just about to say that when dancing (as a couple) I have no problem with my male partner leading, however *ahem*, I do recollect a time or two when a male partner has actually asked me, "Are you leading, or am I?" lol, so perhaps I do from time to time. lol I do love to dance, but it has been quite some time since I have.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_____________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so that the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

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RE: the dance - 7/12/2004 8:28:17 AM   
ModeratorOne


Posts: 877
Status: offline
quote:

I have to agree that the parallels between BDSM and dance are almost shocking to me.


Have you seen forever tango?

(in reply to LadyBeckett)
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RE: the dance - 7/12/2004 8:41:15 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I do recollect a time or two when a male partner has actually asked me, "Are you leading, or am I?" lol, so perhaps I do from time to time.


I usually smile at my partner and courteously say "Let me lead, please" and then fling her out into some double spin nightmare she has to cope with.

Its all good!

On a related note, the female partners I have danced with who tried to lead fell into two basic categories.

1) New dancers. Their attempting to lead comes from not really knowing how to follow. I am nice and helpful and dont try to make them do the more weird block turns, spins, etc.

2) Experienced dancers who lack trust in my lead. If she doesnt know that my lead hand will be there, rock solid, for her to use, she wont be able to sink into the place where she can truly follow. (Sounds oddly similar to BDSM to me) It has been a long time for me since I have done partner dancing, but I am relearning how to lead. The more experienced partners I have had have commented that my lead is very strong. Also, my years in martial arts come in handy with monitoring both my own and our body mechanics and motion.

Sinergy

< Message edited by Sinergy -- 7/12/2004 8:49:31 AM >

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to ModeratorOne)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: the dance - 7/12/2004 8:42:37 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Have you seen forever tango?


Is that a dance or a movie?

I dont think so, the place I am doing swing at is starting up Argentine Tango on (I think) Thursday nights.

For those of you in the southland, www.atomicballroom.com.

On a related note, I got my kilt back from the cleaners so that is what I am wearing on Friday.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: the dance - 7/12/2004 8:57:36 AM   
ModeratorOne


Posts: 877
Status: offline 		http://www.showgate.com/tango/index.html

Its powerful

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: the dance - 7/12/2004 9:28:33 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1199
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorOne
Wow I didnt realize there were so many Ballroom dancers into BDSM!


Well, ModOne, you're in NYC, how about you join us at least for the dinner/dancing portion of the July 31st CollarMe get together?

Maybe I will do something like the attached photo with you...and, yes, that is me...*smile*


Thumbnail Image


Attachment (1)

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.
http://bdsm.taggard.net

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: the dance - 7/12/2004 9:37:45 AM   
ModeratorOne


Posts: 877
Status: offline 		Wish I could but I will be on the left coast from the 30th till the 6th and away the first week of Sept as well.
Where are you getting together?

That picture is mind blowing! How long have you been dancing for?

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
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