RE: growing old together

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RE: growing old together - 8/6/2005 11:12:21 AM

gentlesurrender

Posts: 99
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

I have many friends within d/s who have been together for a long time, married and looking forward to there more mature years together.

Others start out that way and unfortunately like my own marriage for numerous reasons fail, such as it in the vanillla world too.

I have spoken with a number of Doms some say outright they just want fun and others are looking for a more stable long term relationship, it is as has been said, about communicating your desires in discussions with a potential partner

happy searching

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We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy" Walter Anderson

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Post #: 21

RE: growing old together - 8/6/2005 4:10:52 PM

Hissweetshiv

Posts: 176
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline

I think in this respect people in the lifestyle are the same as vanilla people. Everyone is looking for "the one"... everyone wants a relationship that will last forever. Some worry so much about how it will fail that they unwittingly bring it on. Some manage to find that person, some don't. All you can really do, whether you're actively searching or not, is be you. That way when you meet that person there's no "image" (read - lies) to keep up. You're genuinely the person you want to be and they'll be in love with the real you.

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"Forget love...i'd rather fall in chocolate."

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Post #: 22

RE: growing old together - 8/6/2005 4:50:58 PM

LadySonelle

Posts: 269
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Santa Fe NM
Status: offline

My beloved First Servitor, slave k. and I will celebrate our 21st Collaring Anniversary December 1st. We knew each other four years before that.

The secret to a lifelong relationship is humility and courage: the humility to know that I CAN be wrong and the courage to lose an argument when it really counts. Communication is KEY. My grandmother always told Me "Never let the sun set on your anger. Settle your quarrels before bedtime, even if you have to stay up until 3:00AM to do it!" Her marriage lasted until death parted them. I hope to be as fortunate.

As others have said, never take your relationship for granted. Never just let things coast in neutral. Verbalise, vocalise, LISTEN and love.

In the morning, let your first words be "I love you!" at night let your last words be "Sleep well, Darling." and never forget the importance of touching and physical contact, even as simple as a hug and smile. When your beloved goes out of the door to work or on errands, tell them you love them. Too many times, people have gotten that dreaded phone call from the hospital... and their last words to the absent lover were angry ones! Live each day as if it were your first together... and your last... and you will find the years melt away like ice in sunlight.

Now if I could ONLY convince her that the toilet paper is SUPPOSED to come off the FRONT of the roll...! That'll be what we work on in the NEXT 20 years.

Lady Sonelle

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Post #: 23

RE: growing old together - 8/8/2005 9:42:19 AM

zuchtstute1969

Posts: 14
Joined: 4/4/2004
Status: offline

my Master and i have been together for close to 3 years now. My Master answered my ad on alt.com, i specifically was looking for 24/7/365, and not a play partner. i was lucky i found what i was looking for, i know most do not. Yes, W/we do plan do grow old together. i have commited to him until his death, after his death, then i can die, He has given his permission for me to do so. See, i don't want to be one of those 60+ year old slave without a Master. i consider my Master the greatest love of my life, and i do not know how i will function with out Him. Don't get me wrong i can be very independent when i want too, but he is my everything.

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RE: growing old together - 8/9/2005 4:00:49 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 1026
Joined: 11/29/2004
Status: offline

Always keep in mind that there is the possibility of finding someone outside of this lifestyle. Then of course, if they love you they should be open to learning your particular tastes for this lifestyle. Just a thought. That's how I met my husband.

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Post #: 25

RE: growing old together - 8/9/2005 4:33:26 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 1291
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: South Bay (LA area), CA - Southern California
Status: offline

Many beginning D/s relationships are transitory. As sub4hire mentions, six months is more than most of them last. (Love the new pic, btw, sub4hire.) Just like in a vanilla relationship, as you grow to know more about the person, you often find out they're not who you're seeking. This is not just a BDSM phenomena. We do have it a bit harder than the vanilla folks, due to needing to match fetishes as well as personality and interests. Once you're past those hurdles though, you're likely to have a long term relationship. The BDSM relationships I've seen go past 6 months tend to last for years.

I met my husband November 14th of last year. We were married June 7th of this year. Yes, I know that is awful fast, *smiles* but it was right. (I've always called people fools for marrying quickly. lol) I've been in love before, infatuated, enamored and all that, but before him.. I'd never met my mate. I knew it when I found him and not only do I plan to grow old with him, I plan to live all the time between with him. *smiles*

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~Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*

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Post #: 26