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MizSuz -> RE: How do i submit to ownership? (2/26/2004 6:19:32 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
Yes, MizSuz, I got it backwards. (or "backwards it got I."[:)])
Thanks for noticing. And thanks for the correction.
My pleasure. I thought that might be what you meant.
quote:
The problem with munches and what not is they probably won't work for him yet. If he is unsure of what he wants then I'd reccomend he find out before networking and finding a kind dominant (Domina? Fem Dom? Domme?[:)]) who might halfway through a scene have him say, "Sorry, i only thought i wanted this. Where are the keys?"
I agree with the spirit of what I think you are saying. One sure fire way to get in too deep is to get a little bit of terminology, a lot of fantasy, and mix it with too much too fast. I've met many who were so new that there was no real way for them to know WHAT they wanted and needed because they had not yet had the opportunity to do the soul searching that is required of a CLEAR statement of limits and preferences. How do you know you do or don't like/want it if you've never tried it, right?
I don't agree that he's too new to get anything of value from a munch. In fact, in my experience munches are an ideal way to get limited exposure without risk, or at least with minimized and controlled risk, even for the novice. They are in a public place, generally they are vanilla in appearance and don't have the protocol constraints that you might find at a club or private party. The best way to handle this is to go in with a very clear statement "I'm new, I'm curious and I haven't a fucking clue." Then allow yourself to gravitate to people who don't feel the need to jump on you like you're the freshest meat on the block. They'll be easy to spot. They won't touch you, they won't try to play with you, they won't act lasciviously with you, they won't try to dominate you. They will treat you like the human being that you are. My advice would be to stear clear of anyone who can't or won't do that.
The other option is to find a reputable pro, explain that you are a first timer and ask for the 'newbie toybox tour.' If you've found a GOOD pro she will speak to you at great length about your thoughts, feelings, fantasies and things you have a total aversion to. She will ask you about your health, about your belief systems, especially sexually, and she will take you slowly and usually more sensually than sadistically. She'll ask you if you are ok a lot (possibly more than you want to hear) and she'll encourage you to talk to her about your experience when she's done (not just immediately after but also in a few days when you've had time to absorb it). That will make the next session better still.
I don't recommend playing with ANYONE, pro or otherwise, who wouldn't do this for a novice. But munches aren't about play, they are about meeting people.
As always, play is NEVER a requirement. If it is, find another group.
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