RE: Long Distance Relationships ?????

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RE: Long Distance Relationships ????? - 6/18/2005 11:58:27 AM

DesertRat

Posts: 1447
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

I'm not a submissive/slave, so maybe I shouldn't post here? But I do have something to say about this issue:

I was in one that started off very well...extremely well. Very long distance, too. I am in New Mexico and she was (is) in the UK. We did meet. I went there and spent 10 incredibly beautiful days with her. When we were again apart, it didn't take long for the relationship to have serious problems. I don't think the separation was the sole factor in our splitting up, but I do think that if we had been physically together we would have worked things out. Or at least had a better chance. It's all speculation at this point, anyway. *sigh* I should have stayed longer. Looking back, I know I should have done that.

I would definitely consider another such relationship. If it's right, it's right and the distance issues will be resolved if both people want them to be.

Bob

< Message edited by DesertRat -- 6/18/2005 2:15:58 PM >

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RE: Long Distance Relationships ????? - 6/18/2005 1:21:31 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 960
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wetsub000

Hi tigress

Long distance relationships are hard, but not impossible. I guess one of the things you need to work out is what you both want from the relationship and is that possible? It seems the signs are good as you're both working on it.

I've been in a long distance relationship for 3 yrs now. It's hard, it's not ideal, it's meant a lot of compromises. But having seen him two weeks ago (the first time for 16 mths) I know it's worth it. Will it work in the long run? Who knows.

What is the goal for "in the long run"? I guess that's the main point I think of when people ask if a long distance relationship could work. Could it work for two people who don't have a goal of eventually being a permanent-living-together couple? As long as they are clear about the parameters and expectations, I would think so.

The problems are when long distance relationships go on too long without a common objective. Years and years could go by, with the two people not dating or meeting others, and if the relationship is never going to become a permanent reality, what is it all for? I'm amazed when I hear of people in long distance relationships (even moreso, ones where the two people have not even met face to face) for years and years and they really don't know where it is going.

A long distance relationship can be deceiving. If two people get along fabulously for 3 years, only seeing each other a few weeks out of each year, a few long weekends, whatever -- they really have not tested the waters for compatibility. Every meeting again is full of lust and after missing each other, and the time spent together is cherished. There's no time to get bothered with the other person's habits, to feel smothered by their space. Sometimes they never have a chance to deal with crisis, arguments, common friends, family. All these things are big factors in a permanent relationship.

I was in this situation a few years ago and had to give my partner a bit of an ultimatum because I didn't want a long distance relationship. I knew that if we stayed "together" for a few years just going back and forth between his country and my country, we'd never really know the real situation -- and, neither of us would be dating other people if we were to consider it a relationship.

It ended up working out fine, with him coming here and not going back. During the six month window of his tourist visa we were able to determine pretty quickly whether or not what we thought we felt was real. I would hate to have missed out on the 5 years since then and just *now* be getting married. It's lost time you can be spending together in person.

Akasha

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RE: Long Distance Relationships ????? - 6/25/2005 6:57:55 AM

tigress31047

Posts: 98
Joined: 4/26/2005
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Hello E/everyone: ThankY/you all soo much for Y/you imput and advice...to the question "are there siblings to help out with parents?" yes ..I have spoken with my brother and he is willing to take care of parents for the times I would be either gone to Dc or when Master is here visiting..he and I have also discussed the possibilty of me moving to the Dc area. it seems like a doable thing ..i will be fininshing my school the end of august and if the job market for my field is a good as everyone says , I should be able to get a job in any state with out a problem. Master cannot move due to His commitments there. I do not seek to do a 24/7 live in just yet but at least getting in the same city would be wonderful.. so thats the update for now.. things are progressing quite nicely. The communication and trust E/everyone spoke of has turned out to be a major contribution to the relationship.W/we talk for hours everyday about everything from the weather to what He expects from me and what is not acceptable so I am getting the D/s dinamic even when W/we are not face-to-face...I am very happy withthe way things are going thus far.....again thank Y/you all for Y/your responses.reaing O/others experiences helps a great deal.

Masters_sweet_peach

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RE: Long Distance Relationships ????? - 6/27/2005 9:46:13 AM

Hissweetshiv

Posts: 176
Joined: 6/24/2005
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When i met Master (yes in a chatroom, big deal lol) i lived in Ontario Canada and He lived in Texas. Over 2500 miles and a good 6-8 hour flight away. We spent about 18 months getting to know each other before He offered me His collar, and another year before we managed to arrange a physical visit. He proposed on my first visit, and i am now married to Him, living in Texas, and very happy about it too. LDR's can work, it just requires honesty and a lot of work on both sides of the relationship. Hope this helps.
~shiv

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