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Lepidoptera -> RE: have a question (5/29/2005 11:07:08 PM)
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I think that's a similar question to "how would you want someone to ask you to marry them?" and it's really the same answer. Everyone is different.
Personally, I detest ritual. I've never had an official collaring that ended in a successful relationship. I had one vanilla ex who expressed to me how odd it was- we were definitely boyfriend and girlfriend, but we never called each other that, nor acknowledged our relationship. We weren't officially exclusive, but we were. We slept together, had pet names for each other, engaged in long philisophical conversations with each other late into the night. For me, treat me like your slave/sub (if that's the dynamic we have), and that's what I AM. I don't need ceremonies and names to qualify my relationship with you.
On the other hand, the stereotypical vanilla women always asks "what are we?" She wants every letter of the relationship spelled out, so she knows the man is on the same page as she. Some women want it spelled out in airplane exhaust fumes (although I think "Will you be my slave?" in the sky would freak a few 'nilla people out), some women want a nice dinner out, some want it done in the comfort of their own home.
You have to know what kind of person you potential sub/slave is. Do the like formality or do they detest it? Do they like gratuitious displays of affection or do they find it superfluous?
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