i wonder why

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i wonder why - 9/29/2004 6:00:34 AM

Parel0803

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/11/2004
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There are a lot off BDSM sites and on the most off them we find ads from people how where looking to met a other person for a relation in the BDSM lifestyle.
Buth if you answer this ads than you revieve if you are lucky one answer on 10 ads, i wonder why.
Are there than so much people how are interest in the lifestyle buth how are scare to go for it real live or is it the saftyfeeling after the PC, thats make they placed a ad buth than ist stop, and are they pleased with the idee that they are involved in the BDSM .
I tought it was only difficult for a Dom or Master to find a sub or slave buth i have heard it so for sub's and slaves to buth why are we than so difficult when we are looking is there someone how have a answer.

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RE: i wonder why - 9/29/2004 6:18:30 AM

sweetpleaser

Posts: 640
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline

Parel: I don't know how the lifestyle is in Belgium but maybe you are having a distance problem. I know there are many on this site from other countries but the majority seem to be from the Americas. It is real hard to do real time long distance. Also, if you are writing to American women, maybe they are worried about the language problem. You write pretty good English but it takes a little time to understand what you are saying. Are there any Dutch language online sites? Please do not misunderstand me, we welcome you to this site!! Your question though speaks of the frustration in receiving responses to your inquiries. Also, I believe, you will notice that there seems to be a disproportionate amount of Doms to Subs/Slaves on this site. So, you are competing with other Doms who barrage subs all the time. Subs can be more picky.

Sincerely,
ann

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It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

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RE: i wonder why - 9/29/2004 9:45:27 AM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 414
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
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Partly because "most" or at least many of those answering BSDM ad's are NOT in the life style at all and i suspect that many of them are not even "wannabe's". And that many who "reply" to an ad are just doing so because they think they can get a quick piece o pussy from some "loose" person..
So those "subbies" who post an "ad" get burned out from the thousands of replys..
And a subbie or slave who answeres an ad from a dom/possable master is reaching out into a unknown place and is possably not a comfortable one given their "position" a subbie i am assuming does NOT like to be an agressive person in replying to an ad..

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RE: i wonder why - 9/29/2004 1:01:01 PM

kiki blue

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
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It's all about compatibility. Just because a bunch of subly types and a bunch of domly types are looking, doesn't mean they'll be a match. It's the same as any other dating site - 10 of this sort and 10 of that sort doesn't equal 10 matches.

I'm not about to get involved with someone just because they say they ID as a domly sort. If they have what I'm interested in, and I have what they're interested in, then we might get a match.

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RE: i wonder why - 9/29/2004 1:25:56 PM

NoCalOwner

Posts: 241
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpleaser
Also, I believe, you will notice that there seems to be a disproportionate amount of Doms to Subs/Slaves on this site.

While I have also observed this, I did a little tallying.

Dominants outnumber subs here, but not by as much as 2:1 (among active users).

Males outnumber females by a far wider margin. Right now, of the last 25 users on, 20 were male, 2 were couples and 3 were female. What I usually see is around a 7:1 male-female ratio. Were it not for the fact that more men list themselves as Doms than as subs, we might not even have a D-s imbalance here.

But with a 7:1 male-female ratio, (hetero) Doms and male subs alike are going to face very tough competition.

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RE: i wonder why - 10/2/2004 8:05:48 PM

Nvernilla

Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
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Well I havent done that many singles sites but would be willing to bet it is the same on all of them. Our entire society is set up where the tradititonal way it is done is that the man has the responsobility of being the one to "Make it So" the woman on the other hand has the responsibility of weeding out the field and choosing the best one. On top of that we have these ted bundy types making it hard on all of us males, by adding fear to the equation, see if she chooses the wrong one it can be a deadly mistake. The more I think about it the more it looks like on both sides it really sucks. I unfortunatly don't have the solution, but all you can do is keep on trying, be yourself and make sure your self is sincere, honest, truthful and happy. I personally put so much effort into the making myself happy part that I don't worry about the dating part much. Besides that if you are happy and self sufficiant its kind of hard to be feeling low and lonely. Another thing to consider is this, I personally have had some relationships that made me wish I'd stayed alone LOL I wish you the best. Mike

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