Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 As the Collar Turns:
 Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home  Login  Event Calendars  Search 
Espanol  Deutsch  Francais  Italiano  Portugues 

age factor?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off Topic Discussion >> age factor? Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
age factor? - 7/19/2005 3:55:26 PM   
zaynab


Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Hi friends,
new problem for me... there are some truly wonderful people who want to message with me on a more than friend basis.... but they are in their early 20's and i have kids that age...

i've already decided to stay close to my own age or older for my own emotional reasons regarding this but when i explain this to people, they get hurt or offended... and this is making me feel bad....

i know im not responsible for someone else's feelings but i still feel bad... any advice?
~ zay
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 4:10:24 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 3834
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

know im not responsible for someone else's feelings but i still feel bad... any advice?


Tell them what you just told us.


_____________________________

"The dumbest people I know are those who know it all."

Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 4:10:32 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 3896
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

new problem for me... there are some truly wonderful people who want to message with me on a more than friend basis.... but they are in their early 20's and i have kids that age...


Since you are collared i am wondering why anyone wants more than a friend basis. I would dismiss them on that basis rather than their age, they should be able to understand that and not be offended. Otherwise it might help to put in your profile that you only want to message with a certain age group.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .


(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 4:13:55 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 1447
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		Hi zay!

If they get hurt or offended, that is not really harmful to them. Experiencing such feelings is part and parcel of life. Helps us grow. So, I would keep working that "not responsible for the feelings of others" thing...it's true. Who knows? If one of them had said something snotty or whiney to you, maybe that person will cool down, think better of it, and send you a nice, well-reasoned apology. That would feel good, wouldn't it? As for your feeling bad: I would say go ahead and feel bad...just not TOO bad and not for TOO long.

Bob

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 6:11:22 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with Proud- their intentions are less than honorable, and that's the reason you should dismiss them.

However, yes I would feel saddened if someone I liked told me they could not be my friend just because of my age. But I would respect their choice.

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 8:42:52 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2245
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Hrm. I can understand not being romantically invovled because of age, but my personal theory is that friendship is a kind of relation that is less dependant on an age dynamic.

I think I might try to convince someone that my age wasn't a factor in friendship. If gentle convincing didn't work though, it's their choice and I'd respect it.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 8:52:48 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 2933
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zaynab
there are some truly wonderful people who want to message with me on a more than friend basis.... but they are in their early 20's and i have kids that age...

but when i explain this to people, they get hurt or offended... and this is making me feel bad....
~ zay
At least all you are getting is their expression of hurt/offended. A few of the ones I've turned down have come back with racial hatred insults... I'm working on vastly increasing my comfort with the "N" word so that it no longer bothers me to read.. M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 9:23:48 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 1466
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		You don't have to worry about me. Sure I find you attractive and wouldn't mind doing a few things with you myself based you your pic but I know where you are comming from. For some ppl it's age, others it's looks. Then there's the whole socially clicking thing. I to have prefernces and standards which have upseted a few ppl in that past. Oh Boo Whoo. I to have been turned down because of my looks, height, hobbies, lifestyle, being BI, religion, income, cock size, and once because my name didn't start with a J but oh well. I like being my and I like my pet being herself and she likes me being me. That's what's making our relationship work very well.

The bottom line is that there is nothing wrong with standards. If someone wants to get all whinney because you turn them down then it's just proves the lack of there maturity and tells you that you really are better off without them. So do yourself a favor and don't get hurt by there idiotic rambles. You seem happy with what you have so stay that way.





_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 9:30:22 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 1466
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Getting use to the N word from white boy trash that you turned down? WTF Chocolate Love Muffin? Click delete and ignore. Or atleast respond with, "This only proves that you are not really a sub and do not wish to serve. You're no longer even worth my time you lil craker with a twig prick." Then click ignore user.

I can't belive you'd take that from someone calling themselves a submissive less alone any one at all.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 10:01:18 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 2933
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet
Getting use to the N word from white boy trash that you turned down? WTF Chocolate Love Muffin?
I can't belive you'd take that from someone calling themselves a submissive less alone any one at all.
I didn't say I took it Fangs, lol...
I just said that was their response... There wasn't continued "nice"dialogue or understanding on my part .. M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: age factor? - 7/19/2005 10:58:53 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 772
Joined: 3/20/2005
Status: offline 		Say M......

I think your too nice of a Lady to have that kinda crap thrown at ya. And those guys better count their blessings they're not close by,because I'd lay money down you could make em' eat their words.


- The Ranger

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

- General George S. Patton

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: age factor? - 7/20/2005 1:12:08 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 2933
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger
Say M......
I think your too nice of a Lady to have that kinda crap thrown at ya. And those guys better count their blessings they're not close by,because I'd lay money down you could make em' eat their words.
- The Ranger
Thanks Ranger.
You bet that isn't something that would be done to my face! The fact of the matter is that I wouldn't even need to get my hands dirty if it happened here; so cowards are protected by the anonymitiy of the net.. M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: age factor? - 7/20/2005 9:02:21 AM   
zaynab


Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		i like being friends with everyone, any age is great... im talking about sex stuff here...
i have kids who are in their 20's and it just gives me a "nails on the blackboard feeling" to blend the two...

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: age factor? - 7/20/2005 9:13:50 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zaynab

i like being friends with everyone, any age is great... im talking about sex stuff here...
i have kids who are in their 20's and it just gives me a "nails on the blackboard feeling" to blend the two...

As long as you understand it's your own personal prejudices and choices, it shouldn't be a problem.

Again I would feel saddened, just as I would if someone didn't even want to be my friend just because I was a woman, or white...but have to respect their choices.

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: age factor? - 7/20/2005 11:44:23 AM   
onceburned


Posts: 2081
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
Again I would feel saddened, just as I would if someone didn't even want to be my friend just because I was a woman, or white.


Ah, zay said in her first post: "there are some truly wonderful people who want to message with me on a more than friend basis". I think the key phrase is that these youngsters want to be more than friends, and that is what creeps her out (as it would me).

_____________________________



(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: age factor? - 7/25/2005 9:08:08 AM   
COYoungDom


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/24/2005
From: Westminster, CO
Status: offline 		We all got our personal preferences towards what age group we wish to aim for. If someone doesn't like it well..they will live through it.

In my personal experience, i think my age has left me crippled in the dust. Being 18 and new to the lifestyle with less than a years experience and no r/t experience has a feeling that i am looked down upon and honestly not taken seriously. It's either my age, financial status(I'm a college student i don't expect to have 1000 dollars in my bank account lol)...or just the fact i don't even have a car yet. Something like that. I can't really say i'm hurt or anything. I'm just left with a mental scar saying "something tells me i ain't going to make it very far until i am in my 20s".

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 16
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off Topic Discussion >> age factor? Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Collarchat.com is a member of the Free Speech Coalition
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063