perverseangelic
Posts: 2245
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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After writing my reply I realized it sounded pretty harsh. It isn't meant that way. I have no problem with just about any fetish you can name. I have a problem when people get upset at others who don't share that fetish.
I think that fetishists have just as much right to a relationship as individuals who lack strong fetishes, hoewver I think that it's a good idea to seek someone who either shares or is very tolerant of that fetish (as in,t heyr'e willing to practice it a lot). Someone is't a -bad- person because they aren't turned on by a certain set of behaviors.
I don't quite understand the AB mentality, but I have friends who are AB's and quite enjoy it. Their enjoyment is apparant and has made it clear to me this can be a lovely and wonderful way to live or to play.
That said, it isn't reasonable to expect that everyone has your fetish. Some peoeple simply aren't turned on by AB behavoir. To say that there is no difference between a d/s relationship and an AB one is similar, to me, to saying there's no difference between a bdsm relationship and a vanilla one. It's a different context,and a totally different way of acting. Yes, there are similarities, but they -aren't- the same thing.
Women/men who are intersted in one might not be interested in the other. The lack of interest says nothing about the fetish or their judgement of the fetish. It just isn't what gets them hot. FE I am -very- into collars and leashes. My friend just plain isn't. Doesn't make him hate my fetish, he simply doesn't feel the need to indulge it. As such, if we played together, I wouldn't expect him to indulge in a fetish that doesn't make him feel good. He has a fetish for body fluids. I don't. I wouldn't indulge in that, either. We aren't saying those are bad fetishes, they just aren't ours.
Now, with that long-winded disclamer, on the the reply.
quote:
ORIGINAL: lilbabyboy4u
Thank you for the reply "wicked".
Doesnt the mateernal aspect of having a baby give the Domme a fulfillment of motherhood?
I was with a dominant woman before I was with my partner. She most -definatly- didn't want motherhood. In fact, one of my jobs was to mother -her- on occation.
quote:
I thought having a baby to a woman Domme ( was the most happiest part of her life)?
That is a slightly sexist outlook. Motherhood is not necesarially the "happiest part of a woman's life." All women aren't fufilled by motherhood. In fact, some would out and out prefer neve to be mothers.
quote:
Isnt the control and the discipline what all Dommes crave in a relationship to have their sub/slave completely dependant upon them?
Mine sure didn't. She wanted an independant woman she could control, not one that depended on her. Control and dependance are two different hings in my book.
quote:
What is diff than changing a diaper than tieing an adult or dressing him in
clothes she likes.
In one case, you're doing what the submissive person likes-you're buying into his./her fantasy. In the other,you're doing what the dominant person likes. I see it as a pretty big difference.
quote:
All Dommes perform actions on their sub/slave and I dont think an adult baby would require as much as a slave/sub maam.
With my female partner, when she did things to me it was because -she- wanted to, and because she enjoyed it. My fufillment came from making her feel good when and how she wanted to feel good. The way I understand your situation, you have a set of behaviors and fetishes which are being performed to fufill you, spesifically.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't a bad thing. i think relationships should fufill both parties. However, my take on a dominant person/submissive person dynamic is that often the fufillment of the submissive person comes from knowing the dominant person is happy, and less from spesific actions performed by the dominant person. yes, we enjoy those actions, but they aren't what is the driving force of the relationship. Rather, our drive to please and satisfy the dominant person is.
From my perspecitve this makes a world of difference. In one case, the dominant woman becomse a conduit for a fetish--she becomes the avenue through which her partners fetish is fufilled. It is less -her- has a person, so much as the role she occupies. That is, often it seems that it could be any woman fufilling the fetish. With a submissive person, this -can- occur, however if it does, I'd call that submissive person a fetishist as well (again, nothing -wrong- with this, I'm just commenting on how I could see it being less fun for the partner) as opposed to someone who gets into a very spesific type of realtionship with a -person- That is, they want an authority transfer realtionship, however, they seek a -person- they care about, not a body to fill the role of top.
quote:
A Domme does reduce their sub/slave to the state of a child, and that is what she wants, to have complete control.
I am not saying the sub is child like I am saying the Domme reduces him to the mind set of a child always dependant and obedient.
Again, I think dependant and obedient are two different thigns. Yes, I'm dependant on my partner, but NOT like a child is dependant on his/her parents. My partner, and my female partner, would not have wanted that.
Someone who is that dependant is a HUGE emotional and, indeed, financial, burden. My partners were looking for someone to make their lives easier. I do this by being obedient. My being dependant would make their lives much more difficult and defete the purpose of the excercise.
quote:
I cant see the diff except that one is an adult way of controling and the other(an adult
baby relationship) is an adult way for a Domme to experience motherhood and have her maternal desires fulfilled.
You seem to be under the impression that all women have maternal desires. We don't. And the ones of us who do don't have them all the time, or for all of their lives, or in the same way. Some women have no desire to mother. Or have the desire to mother a child, but not an adult child. Or have the desire to give birth to a child, not just care for it.
(edited to fix a tag)
< Message edited by perverseangelic -- 6/22/2005 12:37:59 PM >
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Regarding the topic at hand I have read it from the beginning, and it is quite interesting, however it is that what I have quoted above that I felt moved to respond to. 
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