Why and why not?

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Why and why not? - 6/11/2005 10:58:40 AM

ShiftedJewel

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Why are you poly?

Why are you monogamous?

To me, those questions rate right up there with why are you submissive or dominant. I have been asked how do I understand that some people are simply not polyamorous. It took me a few hours to figure out how to respond to that question.

Why did you choose to be involved in a poly relationship? What was the mindset? How is the mindset different from those that insist on monogamy? Putting aside the emotional baggage... the jealousy, the insecurities and the possessiveness... as well as the old faithful "I've tried it before, it didn't work" garbage... What is the mindset? Why does it work for some and not others?

Jewel

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RE: Why and why not? - 6/11/2005 12:06:28 PM

RiotGirl

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quote:

Why are you monogamous?

Because i havent explored poly yet. Once i explore it, i'll let ya know which one fate decided me to be.

quote:

Why did you choose to be involved in a poly relationship?

honestly? (and yes i do lie LOLOL) Because i thought i would be emotionally uninvolved in the relationship. There for, i would careless.

quote:

What is the mindset?

i dunno the mindset of poly (as i have yet to embark on it) Still trying to work it all out. But on Mono, its a possessive thing. MINE. (i went to kindergarden twice ya know, never learned to share)

quote:

Why does it work for some and not others?

Because some people are poly and some are mono. Just like some are Dom and some are sub. Just like some are vanilla and some are not. i think it all comes down to "who you are" But then again, you've got an unfair advantage over me as i've only experienced one side of it

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RE: Why and why not? - 6/11/2005 12:24:37 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Poly is what I am oriented to and always have. I'm not ME in monogamy, I'm stifled, I constricted.

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RE: Why and why not? - 6/12/2005 9:14:56 AM

SirStacy

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In relationships, whether the Lifestyle or the Vanilla, there are certain tasks N/no O/one enjoys doing, such as the washing of clothes. M/most do not mind the washing or drying of the clothes, it is the folding and putting them away.

In a Poly/Lifestyle, each sub/slave has a certain task to do as part of their household duties, unless 1 is chosen just for that task of strictly house-cleaning.

There can not be any jealously in the house or nothing will run smoothly. all sub/slaves that enter after the Afa/slave has been chosen should never try to over-run or take her/his place by trying to out do her or him.

each 1 has a speciality or they would not have been chosen to be trained or offered a Collar by the Master, Dom, or Mistress.

A Poly-Family is the same as a Vanilla-Family in as they all have to be able to get along. Yes there will be dis-agreements as in all families, but they need to be settled, even if the Dominate of the Home may have to from time to time.

A Poly-House will only work when E/every O/one involved is Honest to T/themselves as well as T/those involved.

SirStacy

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RE: Why and why not? - 6/12/2005 11:58:08 AM

BenignPlague

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While I am new to the whole lifestyle aspect of it, I've been poly in my vanilla relationships for longer. To me it means shedding the possessiveness and suspicion of mono, while retaining the love and devotion. People treat love like it is a finite quality, that you only have so much of it, and if you care for someone, you can't spare any for someone else. I feel that as people grow to love others, so does their capacity to love. I right now have two girlfriends (vanilla) and a playmate (bdsm): all are completely aware of each other, and completely accepting and supportive of the situation.

People that are prone to jealousy and territorial, not that these are inherently bad qualities, but merely bad if pursuing poly interestes.

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RE: Why and why not? - 6/15/2005 10:39:37 PM

asissyforher

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why ok for some and not others?

why do some buy a chevy and others buy ford?

each their own.
i can but guess some have to have others around...so they are poly.
some do not and not poly.

it is all psychological as "I" see it.

but ah well.

a slave

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RE: Why and why not? - 6/16/2005 4:22:24 PM

wolfspirits

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Jealousy Is FEAR Pure And Simple. They Fear That One Will Love The Other More ETC. Or Run Off With Another. The Latter I Have Seen In Our Pagan Community, But When This Happened There Were Other Things Failing In The Relationship. And Yes Being Open And Honest With Self And Thers In The Family Is Very Important. Radical Honesty And Communication Is The Life Line. Sitting Everyone down For Regular Meetings To Check In On What Everyone Is Feeling ETC. WolfSpirits

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