Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ???

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ???

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Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/14/2006 9:19:47 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 514
Joined: 12/14/2005
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Dear SWITCHES,

a. I have a question for you. If you were to shipwreck on a deseerted island and could chose one other person to be with you, who would you chose ----- Who do you feel you match up best with: a Vanilla, DOM, SUB, or other Switch? Please explain your choice.

b. If you were in a Metropolis with a full menu of delicious others to chose from, would you prefer a poly or monogamous relationship? It would seem to me if you went monogamous --- the best choice for you would be another switch, but what do I know. In a poly world, though, it seems you could indulge both of your roles.

c. If you have been in a relationship with another switch --- and let's say it was an intense relationship --- did you experience conflict over role assumption ---- aka "I want to be DOM," "No, I do." if you get my drift. How do you decide between top and bottom? I imagine if I were in such a position, I would decide through friendly but "binding" negotiation --- so I would know when I was topping (and could plan), botttoming, and being on equal footing.

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/14/2006 10:13:52 PM

Slipstreme

Posts: 261
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline

Honestly I do best with other switches, preferably switch submissives with a sadomasochistic streak. I just can't take a role with someone 24/7. I can't. Almost all the things I want to do to someone else, I want done to myself, and that can only happen with other switches.

In life, I like the idea of an open relationship, but one that is not built on going out and having multiple bed partners without the other person knowing who these other bed partners are. I believe in close communication.

Resolving the question of who is dominant. Interesting.......

I'd say a knock down drag out game of tournament with the weaponry to find out who gets to wield it.

But actually, on a more serious note, I've found the question of "who's dominant?" has yet to come up with me and one of my partners. If it does, I do switch easily.

I've also found that I am submissive to the whip (and other whip like instruments). Basically, all it takes is threatening its use and whatever Dom in me, leaves for the time being. Yes, I've had many interesting points of self inflection to figure out why and how, considering I love wielding it just as much (serving it so to speak through using it, being the medium through which it travels, I guess). It honestly, doesn't make any shread of sense. Ah well, yet another eccentricity to add to my rapidly growing list.

(in reply to cloudboy)

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 7:09:57 AM

StacyCat

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/11/2006
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Id match up better with a Dom or with another Switch, top leaning. I am mostly bottom, but I like the sexual charge I get beating other people :-)

b. Im poly. Always, doesnt matter my circumstances, I knew I was poly before I figured out I was a switch.

c.Dont really have role assumptions. Its more of "I want to get beat" or "I want to beat" someone, and I dont have to take a role either way. Most of my relationships, there is usually one dynamic that we prefer, and switching when we feel like it.

(in reply to Slipstreme)

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 9:13:33 AM

fergus

Posts: 365
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

A). lol, the answer would be whomever I can connect with most regardless of label ;)

But I reckon in a 'perfect' world, it would be a Domme with a lil switchy tendencies once in a while :)

B). Monogomous .... I am hopelessly monogomous ... I am okay with serial monogomy, but God and Goddess help me, I am a man and no good at multi-tasking. I can barley walk and chew gum at one time and you expect me to be able to focus my attention on more than one beautiful woman in my life at once? *whew* intellectually I wish I could, but emotionally it is not within me.

At any rate, most men don't know what to do with ONE woman .... oh, you men are saying "Sure I do" ... but you womenfolk are secretly nodding ;)

C) Too complex. SOOO much depends on the dynamic of the individuals in the relationship. Communication, communication, communication.

STILL can't decide?, fuck it .... flip a coin.

fergus

(in reply to StacyCat)

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 11:38:23 AM

Evanesce

Posts: 633
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

a. I have a question for you. If you were to shipwreck on a deseerted island and could chose one other person to be with you, who would you chose ----- Who do you feel you match up best with: a Vanilla, DOM, SUB, or other Switch? Please explain your choice

.

Is this a permanent shipwreck? As in, no one else will ever find us again and we'd die there on that island? If that's the case, then I'd have to have a Top-leaning switch. I simply would not thrive if both sides of my nature did not have adequate outlets for expression, but I still have a need for someone else to be "in charge."

quote:

b. If you were in a Metropolis with a full menu of delicious others to chose from, would you prefer a poly or monogamous relationship? It would seem to me if you went monogamous --- the best choice for you would be another switch, but what do I know. In a poly world, though, it seems you could indulge both of your roles.

This depends upon the individuals involved. By "normal" standards, I am currently in a monogamous relationship. I don't have sexual relations with anyone other than my Master. However, I do still have an outlet for my sadistic side in that I do play non-sexually with others. So I'm somewhere in between monogamy and polygamy, and right now it works.

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 2:20:08 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 703
Joined: 1/12/2006
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A. Ideally, it would be with my Master, but if that weren't possible, I'd have to bunk up with a male submissive, preferrably one with some lumberjack/carpentry skills so they could build us a shelter. With no electricity, there's not going to be much to do besides sex and play so it would have to be with someone who's going to do what I say, when I say, where I say because in that situation, I just don't think I'm going to be feeling all that submissive. When I can't have a hot shower and get my nails done, pissed-off Bitch Domme is sure to come out. hehe

B. Technically, I am in a Metropolis with a full menu! haha Master and I are fluid monogamous. I don't even kiss other people but poly in a strictly S/M sense in that either one of us have no problem in those delightful S/M activities with other parties.

C. My particular make-up tends to be geared towards the other person. Regardless of 'my' label, the switch gets turned to the appropriate position depending on where 'their' switch is. I tend towards the Top side with most people having the oh-so-teeny-tiny sadistic streak.. ::koff:: But, if they are uber Dom and the power just oozes out of them, a quick hair pull and I'm gushy in an instant.

Celeste

(in reply to cloudboy)

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 2:27:28 PM

tallandhard

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: North Florida
Status: offline

Let's see:

A. Switch, I think see answer C

B. Mono e mono

C. Sadly I have never had a relationship with another switch who could switch with me.

(in reply to Evanesce)

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 6:43:28 PM

LaMalinche

Posts: 361
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Dear SWITCHES,

a. I have a question for you. If you were to shipwreck on a deseerted island and could chose one other person to be with you, who would you chose ----- Who do you feel you match up best with: a Vanilla, DOM, SUB, or other Switch? Please explain your choice.

b. If you were in a Metropolis with a full menu of delicious others to chose from, would you prefer a poly or monogamous relationship? It would seem to me if you went monogamous --- the best choice for you would be another switch, but what do I know. In a poly world, though, it seems you could indulge both of your roles.

c. If you have been in a relationship with another switch --- and let's say it was an intense relationship --- did you experience conflict over role assumption ---- aka "I want to be DOM," "No, I do." if you get my drift. How do you decide between top and bottom? I imagine if I were in such a position, I would decide through friendly but "binding" negotiation --- so I would know when I was topping (and could plan), botttoming, and being on equal footing.

A. Who says I want another person around. Most people just annoy me anyway, just give me a box-o-toys. And if that is not an option, I am certain that I can figure something out. Heehee. I am not a "female" boy scout for nothing.

B. While I am a big fan of polyamoury, it is difficult for me to concentrate on more than a few people in my life. Bed-hopping is out because of this. I am the one that says, "Oh, you are screwing my secretary? That is nice. Now leave me alone, I am busy."

Now is this a choice for life, or a choice for now?

Monogamy is easy when a person is busy, but then again, polygamy is great when you want to show appreciation.

You also assume that a poly person is bi While I am, the delicisious other for another might be the wrong gender. And they might have different ideas. So what do you do. Me, I go with what my partner desires (at this time that is no other men, but women are okay) because it just is not THAT important. I can adjust. Fucking is a part of life, not my life. And whom I screw or do not screw, does not define me.

C. As Nike says, "Just do it." If you really need more explanation, PM me.

LaMalinche

----------------------------------------------------

Carthago delenda est

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/15/2006 8:14:54 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 514
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

I want to thank everyone for their responses so far. As I visualize SWITCHING, I think it would be important to comit to your assigned role. Also, I can see a type of rivaly of Dominance evolving --- in other words the Switch's dominating of a partner creates a standard and in most probability a response when the roles reverse. I think this could be rather exciting. In other words, there's an element of "you're in control now, but I'll be in control later." That is very sexy and alluring.

What I often tell my Mistress, is that our relationship is so easy b/c the roles are defined (Dom/Sub). There is no confusion or tug of war, and there is a dynamic that just works between us. I think its one of the advantages of being DOM/SUB v. something else.

Last note. Because I have somewhat of a switch orientation with a sub bias, I think it makes me a "lively" sub instead of being a robotic one --- and I think it makes me a better submissive.

(in reply to Slipstreme)

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/16/2006 6:27:50 PM

shiminess

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

a. i would do best with another switch. i have different tastes and just wouldn't be content if i couldn't do various things. people who are one way and one way only tend to bore me and i lose interest quickly. i like being worshipped but i also like to worship, and that is inside and outside of the bedroom.

b. i would prefer a poly relationship. if the communication was bad between my s/o then it wouldn't work and i'd have to end it. communication is key to any kind of relationship and definitely vital to a poly one, in my opinion.

c. it's all about communication.

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/16/2006 10:06:11 PM

siamsa24

Posts: 2052
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline

I do best with a dominant who allows me to be rebelious (sp?) from time to time

I have tried another switch, but I am not 100% switch I suppose.

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/17/2006 6:33:37 AM

MistressAlexaS

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline

I am currently in a relationship with another switch. I am a Dominant switch and therefore I do better with a sub switch. There's never a conflict with us, we have excellent communication and he actually prefers subbing to Domming anyway. If I'm in the mood to sub he can tell because I call him *Daddy*

That's his hint that hey Im feeling in a sub mood if you want to Dom the opportunity is here. If he isnt in the mood we just have rough sex. Which for us is what this is about...good kinky sex.

~Alexa

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/29/2006 9:18:00 AM

LadyLibellus

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/3/2005
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If I could only choose one person to be shipwrecked with, I would prefer someone I easily connect with who has predominantly sub tendencies (could be a strict sub or switch who prefers to sub). Let's be honest, I prefer to be in charge.

I would prefer poly. I've tried mono several times and it just doesn't work for me. I have a poly heart and am tired of denying it.

When I've been with another switch, there's never had any problem with us deciding who is going to Dom/me and who will sub. We just seem to bounce off each other and fall into the appropriate place (although I usually Domme).

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RE: Who is "the best" Match for a SWITCH ??? - 1/29/2006 4:11:28 PM

fergus

Posts: 365
Joined: 6/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLibellus

If I could only choose one person to be shipwrecked with, I would prefer someone I easily connect with who has predominantly sub tendencies (could be a strict sub or switch who prefers to sub). Let's be honest, I prefer to be in charge.

I would prefer poly. I've tried mono several times and it just doesn't work for me. I have a poly heart and am tired of denying it.

When I've been with another switch, there's never had any problem with us deciding who is going to Dom/me and who will sub. We just seem to bounce off each other and fall into the appropriate place (although I usually Domme).

There needs to be more switches like you LL ....

lol, okay, honesty. I WANT there to be more switches like you ;)

fergus

(in reply to LadyLibellus)

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