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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive/Slave >> What do you ask?

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What do you ask? - 3/3/2004 12:36:44 PM

feline

Posts: 804
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: GA
Status: offline

ladies and gentleman,

What i would like to know from all of you is simply this. . . . .

What questions do you feel are important to ask a prospective Master/Mistress, Dom/me?

One of my favorites is to ask “Please tell me, what makes you a Master?”

i have gotten all kinds of different responses from this one. *smiles*

Thank you for your time

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_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~
Property of Master Anthony

Post #: 1

RE: What do you ask? - 3/3/2004 12:49:06 PM

EStrict

Posts: 730
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

I liked to ask about favorite all time fantasy and if they have fulfilled it. And of course, if they haven't, why....

Other than that, I like to know what kind of books they like, tv programs, and to do when they go out with 'nilla friends. 'Cause even when you live as master/slave, dom/sub or whatever, regular life is there too...

Of course, when I went through my *play only* time when I was learning, I wanted to know their favorite kinks. If they were something I didn't overly enjoy and they weren't someone I was looking for a LT relationship with, then odds are *talking* was all we were going to do...

Sandy

(in reply to feline)

Post #: 2

RE: What do you ask? - 3/3/2004 2:09:31 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 3834
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: feline

What questions do you feel are important to ask a prospective Master/Mistress, Dom/me?

One of my favorites is to ask “Please tell me, what makes you a Master?”

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how long have you been in the lifestyle?

why did you break up with your past sub?

have you ever had a sub?

Are you married?

What is your favorite type of play?

Fantasies?

Limits?

Wants?

Are you married?

What are you looking for in a relationship?

How long before I get a collar?

Are you married?

What type of work do you do and what is your position within the company?

Do you have references? Real ones..not online.

Do you belong to any groups?

Are you married?

Just a few I would normally ask if seeking.

Gloria

_____________________________

"The dumbest people I know are those who know it all."

Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to feline)

Post #: 3

questions to ask - 3/3/2004 3:12:23 PM

Perempt

Posts: 25
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: US
Status: offline

your question....what makes yo a Dom....is okay

and all the other factual questions that Gloria asks are okay, too (limits, favorite kinks, job organizations, marital stat, etcO.
The important thing is that a LOT of personal info is exchanged over several conversations.

But, if I were a sub, I would be most interested in what a Dom/me asks you: if She or He ses you as a real sub/slave prospect S/He will be inspeting yu as one would a gem, especially interested in who you are, what you want and need, where you are going, the nature of yur dreams, how deep is your craving to surrender? If those questions do not fill His or Her mind, the match isn't solid.

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[email protected]

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 4

RE: questions to ask - 3/3/2004 5:18:18 PM

EStrict

Posts: 730
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: if She or He ses you as a real sub/slave prospect S/He will be inspeting yu as one would a gem, especially interested in who you are, what you want and need, where you are going, the nature of yur dreams, how deep is your craving to surrender? If those questions do not fill His or Her mind, the match isn't solid.

::laughing:: wow, you just said my relationship isn't solid. I do hope you meant to say that you don't think it would be solid?

I know personally I have always shied away from anyone who wanted to treat me as a gem. Yes, I do like to be appreciated for my *talents*, from my mind, to my cooking, to my deep desire to be pleasing. But my *talents* are useless in the relationship if he was fawning over me and putting me on a pedestal. I am not a princess, priceless, or a gem. I am *just* a woman who is here to serve, and guess what? He's *just* a man. Yes, he is dominant, demanding, strict, firm, self-assured and all of the other things I crave in man, but he is also a human who makes mistakes, and admits to them, and expects me to be one also. And *that* is what makes our relationship solid,,,

Sandy

< Message edited by EStrict -- 3/3/2004 5:18:52 PM >

(in reply to Perempt)

Post #: 5

RE: questions to ask - 3/3/2004 5:33:39 PM

feline

Posts: 804
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Perempt

But, if I were a sub, I would be most interested in what a Dom/me asks you: if She or He ses you as a real sub/slave prospect S/He will be inspeting yu as one would a gem, especially interested in who you are, what you want and need, where you are going, the nature of yur dreams, how deep is your craving to surrender? If those questions do not fill His or Her mind, the match isn't solid.

Well funny you should mention that, because i was just getting ready to ask the Masters/Mistress' ect. the same question.

feline

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~
Property of Master Anthony

(in reply to Perempt)

Post #: 6

RE: What do you ask? - 3/4/2004 2:19:42 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Different perspective. I'm a male. Incase you have not noticed we out number Fem Doms (or Domme's or Domina's) like 10 to one. Before I ask anything I have to consider if it'll scare her off. If I'm interested in one that will be my contact for the year. I pay more attention to what she asks. What she asks I can guess is safe to ask back. (I asume I know what she's into from some other source.)

Yes, that puts a lot of pressure on the Domina (Fem Dom, or Domme, whatever.) but if she makes the rules should she complain about them? If I ask questions either I feel I won't accidentally scare her away, or I don't care if I do.

(Oh, sub4hire's questions usually get answered in general conversation. Usually.

)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to feline)

Post #: 7

RE: What do you ask? - 3/4/2004 4:17:52 AM

londonswitch

Posts: 77
Joined: 3/1/2004
Status: offline

Report of question session from my 100% sub past:

...
Me: What's dominance to you then?
Him: Everything really.
Me: Blimey, so what are you without dominance?
Him: Nothing. Really.
Me: You define yourself by it? Or not believe in definitions?
Him: I believe in them. But belief isn't all that, is it?
Me: I don't have huge faith in metaphysics when we're scoping each other out. It'll boil down to who's had the best philospohy training and practice
Him: I can show you what dominance is.
Me: I want to ask you other stuff first.
Him: You have to earn the right to ask questions
Me: Off of metaphysics into logic are we?
Him: That's a question
Me: *laugh*
Me: You win.

The whole thing above was very stimulating. I hurt after this: around my stomach from laughing through my time with him. The questions and answering/not answering became part of our early times together.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 8

RE: What do you ask? - 3/4/2004 7:21:53 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
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iwillserveu
contact Me if allowed @
[email protected]

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to londonswitch)

Post #: 9

RE: What do you ask? - 3/4/2004 3:31:47 PM

OnlyHis

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/25/2004
Status: offline

#1. How long you been in the lifestyle? ( and hope the person is honest)
2. How were you taugh or who trained you?
3. Have you experienced many of the things you are interested in doing as a Dominant?
4. Can you give me some names of past subs or slaves so i may talk to them?
5.What activity is your specialty or that you favor the most?
6. Do you believe in safe words?

i could go on and on. Many of these and a zillion more i asked my Master at one time too. And the ones i have listed are not in any particualr order.

Take care
rose

(in reply to feline)

Post #: 10

RE: What do you ask? - 3/4/2004 4:46:56 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 3834
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OnlyHis

#1. How long you been in the lifestyle? ( and hope the person is honest)
2. How were you taugh or who trained you?

Take care
rose

Rose,
I have to ask the question. Do you really think a Dominant is trained? I mean....yep I heard that a lot online. "Well I was trained as a submissive first..then my Mistress said I needed to be trained as a Dom."
Although the only man who has ever said that to me...proclaims himself a Master. Yet in the 10 years or so I've known him he has never "mastered" anybody. Not even himself.

So, just kind of curious. Are people actually trained? Not submissives..but Dominants?
I mean, where do you go for training? Or would training be considered a mentor?

_____________________________

"The dumbest people I know are those who know it all."

Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to OnlyHis)

Post #: 11

RE: What do you ask? - 3/4/2004 5:41:05 PM

EStrict

Posts: 730
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

::laughing:: Gloria, I read in someone's profile today that they have 4 years experience in *dom work*. Maybe he was trained for the job?

Seriously though, I am not one that goes for the *training* either. *Training* is NOT the same thing as experience. I have been trained to be a certified computer technician. Went to classes for over 1000 hours, study, took test. Being a slave came naturally. Yes, there are things I did learn as far as techniques for giving a better blow job... but they were still self taught and still vary from person to person that I would scene with.

I have often seen people advertise they *train* a submissive for her next dominant. But I know my own master could give jack shit the way someone else feels I should kneel, beg, cook, clean, cum, or anything else. He only cares how *he* likes it. And even with that, he doesn't *train* me to be a slave, he just lets me know when I need to change something to make it more pleasing for him.

Sandy

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 12

RE: What do you ask? - 3/4/2004 7:18:56 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 3834
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EStrict

Seriously though, I am not one that goes for the *training* either. *Training* is NOT the same thing as experience. I have been trained to be a certified computer technician. Went to classes for over 1000 hours, study, took test. Being a slave came naturally. Yes, there are things I did learn as far as techniques for giving a better blow job... but they were still self taught and still vary from person to person that I would scene with.

Sandy

I don't know that I don't go for it. I think people are just pathological liars in general. I mean. Lets say there is training. Ok, so what are they trained in?
My Dom has trained me to do the things he likes. Just as your Dom has trained you. But as you said. It is for him and him alone. So how are you trained?
Trained to serve others in their likes? Nope. So, assuming a Dominant was trained. What are they trained in exactly? How someone does something that they will never do?

Or are they referring to something like the boy scouts taught him how to tie a rope?
Trained to hold their temper and not take it out on the sub when the sub does something wrong? Nope, I doubt it.
That takes experience and maturity.

_____________________________

"The dumbest people I know are those who know it all."

Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to EStrict)

Post #: 13

RE: What do you ask? - 3/5/2004 11:31:09 AM

sweetieboop

Posts: 92
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Gloria, you always make me laugh. *hugs* I like your are you married question. ;)

I'm having a problem now because a guy that I'm "dating" that I happen to like a lot, wants to do anything he can to make me happy. He's not a Dom but wants to learn and I don't know if that is something that CAN be taught. I think that (as Gloria stated) you can "train" a person to fit your needs, but being dominant or submissive is something you are born with. Sometimes it may be surpressed and needs to be brought out, but IMO, either you are or aren't. It's not something you can learn to be.

quote:

::laughing:: wow, you just said my relationship isn't solid. I do hope you meant to say that you don't think it would be solid?

Forgive me if I'm wrong but I think what Perempt meant by this is that when a Dom owns someone, they should be looking out for them and their best interests, so if he/she doesn't want to learn about his sub/slave, then how can he/she know what's right for them?

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 14

RE: What do you ask? - 3/5/2004 1:35:07 PM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ladies and gentleman,

LOL. Feline did you do the singular on purpose? If you did I swear I am not unique!

("Getting a big enough head to think she was talking about you, iwillserveu."

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to feline)

Post #: 15

RE: What do you ask? - 3/6/2004 7:26:33 PM

feline

Posts: 804
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: GA
Status: offline

OPPS!

*hangs her head in embarrassment and begs forgiveness*

Sorry guys, i meant all of you. Please forgive me.

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_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~
Property of Master Anthony

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 16

RE: What do you ask? - 3/7/2004 2:18:32 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

feline,

Since I think I'm the only male who posts here I can tell you that anyone who takes ofense at a regular old mistake is not worthy of an opology anyway. No offense taken by the typo, feline.

(Not spell checked and revised to prove a poiint.

)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to feline)

Post #: 17

RE: What do you ask? - 3/7/2004 5:46:51 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 3834
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

Since I think I'm the only male who posts here I can tell you that anyone who takes ofense at a regular old mistake is not worthy of an opology anyway. No offense taken by the typo, feline.

(

I don't think you are the only male who posts here. You may be the only male sub who posts here.
Plus, you may not even be that.
Should we take a poll?

_____________________________

"The dumbest people I know are those who know it all."

Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 18

RE: What do you ask? - 3/7/2004 7:51:11 PM

feline

Posts: 804
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

I don't think you are the only male who posts here. You may be the only male sub who posts here.
Plus, you may not even be that.
Should we take a poll?

ok ok ok let's not go to extremes here. *heavy sigh* i know for a fact you/he's not the only male sub that posts here. A very dear male sub friend of mine posts here as well, so i guess there are two of you. *chuckles lightly*

Take care, be well & all that other stuff, feline

"Can't we all just get along?" ~Rodney King~

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~
Property of Master Anthony

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 19

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