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What defines homsexuality?


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[Poll]

What defines homsexuality?


one homosexual experience at any time
  4% (1)
one homosexual experience not orderedby a Master/Mistress
  0% (0)
enjoyment of the homosexual act
  9% (2)
attraction to ones of the same gender even never acted upon
  23% (5)
acting upon attraction to the same gender
  19% (4)
other (please explain)
  38% (8)
The question is what defines homsexuality, not bisexuality
  4% (1)


Total Votes : 21
(last vote on : 2/16/2006 5:11:42 AM)
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What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 5:41:36 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		OK, lets define homosexuality and heterosexuality. It is not as easy at it sounds.

For example, lets say I gave a guy a BJ. By some definitions I'm a homosexual. Does it make a difference if the BJ was 20 years ago? By the same standard is a gay guy who had hetero sex once a hetero? To further muddy the waters what if my Mistress (or his Master) ordered it and the hetero/ homo subs did not enjoy it.

Then we have the question of bi-sexuality.

Then we have trannies. Post operation are they homosexual? Is gender in the chromosomes or between the legs?

Is there a technical difference between lesbians and gays?

One person will decry me as a heterosexist for starting this poll or for not starting this poll, so I might as well start this poll.

Now the big question. Do you care?

_____________________________

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RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 5:51:04 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 234
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		homo sexualty is the preference for the same gender .. that meaning.. given the choice btwn oooh lets say mel gibson and cameron diaz you would fuck mel.. because your preference is for sexual interaction with your same gender.

because you engage in homosexual acts, anal intercourse or oral intercourse with a person of the same sex doesnt make you homosexual.. it might make you kinky.. who knows.. as long as your prefered partner is of the opposite gender your still straight: No matter how good it feels

_____________________________

"Yes, we women are inventive," she said. "Be careful. When you find your ideal, she might easily treat you more cruelly than you like."

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Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 7:52:04 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1199
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
Now the big question. Do you care?


Not really, but since you asked here are my thoughts.

Your poll ignores the entire concept of bisexuality, so I am going to assume that you are describing a black and white world where one can be both heterosexual and homosexual.

If that is what you mean, then I would say that enjoying the homosexual experience would make one homosexual.

Personally, I think that a person who enjoyed both hetero and homosexual experiences whould be bisexual, with leaning one way or the other depending on personal preference.

As far as time is concerned, there is this old joke about a construction worker who is retiring after 40 years on the job. His retirement speech went something like the following: "I want to thank all you guys for this party, but I have just one thing to say. In my 40 years on the job, I built over 600 highrise office buildings, but was I known as 'Joey the Office Builder'? No, I was not. I built over 10,000 houses, but was I known as 'Joey the Housebuilder'? No, I was not. I even laid over a million bricks, but was I known as 'Joey the Bricklayer'? No, I was not. I suck just one cock..."

Yours,
Taggard

< Message edited by TallDarkAndWitty -- 7/11/2004 7:53:38 AM >

_____________________________

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RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 9:32:39 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 3896
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		I checked "other" because most of the other choices there can also apply to bisexual. I think homosexual is sexually attracted to only the same sex. If one is truely homosexual i also believe they would also act on it, not just fantacize.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .


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RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 9:32:52 AM   
anthrosub


Posts: 453
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline 		i've thought about this many times throughout my adult life and will add another dimension to the question. Everyone is capable of being sexually aroused and/or having sex with a member of the opposite sex without experiencing the bonds of love that are present within a relationship. i think it's safe to say this describes "having sex" versus "lovemaking" in a general sense.

i think someone defined as homosexual in the truest sense of the word is someone who cannot experience "lovemaking" with the opposite sex. It's also a known fact that a very large percentage of males and females experimented with same sex during puberty. But as they matured, they quickly identified their sexual feelings with the opposite sex. None of these people are homosexual per se.

In truth, this is a very grey area to try and delineate. There are pure homosexuals, some who are capable of having sex with the opposite sex but only rarely and under certain conditions, bi-sexuals, heterosexuals that can "cross over" for the kink of it, and pure heterosexuals. It's also important to consider that our culture defines where the lines are crossed.

When i was studying anthropology in college, we covered sexual identity as it exists in non-western cultures. i learned that in at least one Arab country, it's completely accepted that some men will live and dress as women for years and then switch back and nobody thinks anything of it. It's one of the small countries on the west coast of the Persian Gulf but i can't remember which one. Native Americans never had an issue with it either and then there's the question of how people understand what sex is in the first place and how that shapes their behavior.

For example, in the South Pacific there is (or was) a tribe of people living on an island that believed that semen is finite and that it is passed from the older male generation to the youth as they grow up. So as young boys entered puberty, they would be taken in by an older male adult (usually a relative) and begin having oral sex with him. They believed that the semen of the older male was being transferred to the young boy so that when he became a young man, he would be able to have children.

Like everything else we believe (God, politics, laws, authority, etc.) human beings define what reality is and it's in a constant state of flux. What's unique about the developed world and particularly democratic cultures is that we are free (for the most part) to practice whatever we want to believe. This is a fairly new circumstance in the history of human cultural evolution, which is why there is so much controversy about sex.

Anyway, i think i'm on the verge of rambling so i'll stop.

anthrosub

_____________________________

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(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 11:22:30 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		Hello,

I have to agree that "other" is the most appropriate response here.

I have a close friend who plays on both teams. He has tried to convince me that men give better blow jobs than women, etc. We have a lot of fun flirting with each other.
He is respectful of the fact that of all the men on the planet he could have sex with, Im not on that list.

I personally am not attracted to the sight of naked men, and the thought of having sex with one is not even on my to-do list.

I would not consider a man being ordered by his Mistress to give a blow job to a man as being a homosexual act. The submissive is doing it to please his Mistress. Doing things to please his Mistress is where his sexuality lies, not in giving men blowjobs.

Another case in point are men in prison. From what I have read, men in prison tend to have sex with each other constantly. They stratify out into gender roles where one team are the "men" in the relationship, and the others, well, arent. Is this homosexuality? I dont consider it such, I consider it making the best of a difficult situation. These men on their release would generally not dream of having sex with men on the outside, and revert back to their former sexual preference for women.

To summarize, I consider heterosexuality, bisexuality, homosexuality, etc., something one "is" rather than something one "does."

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to anthrosub)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 11:23:57 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2245
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		To -me- homosexuality is being attracted to someone of the "same" gender as that to which you identify. male-identified people who like male-identified and female identified people who like female-identified. In my definition, a female to male transexual who likes males is homosexual. as is a biological woman who likes other women,

bisexual people, in my book, are people or any gender who are attracted to people of either gender. These people only like male-identified people and female-identified people but aren't necesearially attracted to asexual, androgynous or other permutations of sexuality beyond the m/f dichotomy.

pansexual people like people. they are attracted to people of all gender permutations, based on the individual and not the gender.


in my book, you never have to act on an impulse to be an orrientation. if you are attracted to both men and women, but never have sex with a woman, in my book you are still bisexual.

if you are a man attracted -only- to men, who has sex with women on occation but feel no attraction to them, you are still homosexual IMHO.


these are only my definitions, but it's worked for me.

(in reply to anthrosub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 11:39:17 AM   
Estring


Posts: 1266
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I personally am not attracted to the sight of naked men, and the thought of having sex with one is not even on my to-do list.

Sinergy, I totally agree with you. Thank God women are attracted to us. Although I think they wonder why sometimes.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 11:49:27 AM   
dixiedumpling


Posts: 451
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: southeast Mississippi
Status: offline 		Sinergy,
Are You one of those men who think woman/woman sex is a huge turn on? Why do men find that a turn on, but turn up their nose (and their penis down) to the idea of male/male sex? i think if men didn't have this big aversion to the idea of "gay", they would all be in favor of anal sex.. for themselves.

i also think 'homosexual acts' in prison are more about dominating than they are about sex.

_____________________________

Toodles,
dixiedumpling

My mind is no place to play alone. Anna Pigeon as written by Nevada Barr

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 12:22:56 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 3240
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Montréal - Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
OK, lets define homosexuality and heterosexuality. It is not as easy at it sounds.

Why just those two terms when there is such a vast spectrum under the giant Queer umbrella?

quote:


Then we have the question of bi-sexuality.

Why does bisexuality have to be a question? It just is.

quote:


Then we have trannies. Post operation are they homosexual? Is gender in the chromosomes or between the legs?

They can be whatever their little hearts desire!

quote:


Is there a technical difference between lesbians and gays?

Yes. The lesbians have innies. They gays (and I’m assuming by your juxtaposition that you were specifically speaking of gay men here) have outies. That’s pretty technical imho.

quote:


One person will decry me as a heterosexist for starting this poll or for not starting this poll, so I might as well start this poll.

Nah. I’m not decrying you as a heterosexist now, just someone who likes to draw attention to himself by provoking. I guess that is how you get your sought-after vagina huh? Bratting doesn’t really work on me though.

Now on to my comments on and intelligent response:

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
Your poll ignores the entire concept of bisexuality, so I am going to assume that you are describing a black and white world where one can be both heterosexual and homosexual.

If that is what you mean, then I would say that enjoying the homosexual experience would make one homosexual.

Personally, I think that a person who enjoyed both hetero and homosexual experiences whould be bisexual, with leaning one way or the other depending on personal preference.

So true! And really, you are who you identify as. I often hate the word bisexual because it is so loaded. Many get the impression of a nymphomaniac that fucks anything that walks. It connotes images of promiscuity, which is not necessarily true either. I prefer to just say that I’m sexual but that doesn’t work when I’m trying to get my point across. So I use the term bisexual and I cringe a bit every time but we need to find common words to which we can all agree on, on some level.

So what defines homosexuality or other sexual labels?

Whatever you chose.

_____________________________

An iron hand in a velvet glove.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 12:35:56 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1013
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Long Island
Status: offline 		Midear Iwill-

Hmmm. I can define why I am not a homosexual-

I have had sex with men. It was enjoyable, but afterwards, I had an urge to find a woman and have _real_ sex. Something about men just doesn't satisfiy me. I usually waffle a bit on a clear label, identifying my self as 'functionally bisexual', though truth be told, I don't seek men as sex partners.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 1:29:13 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Sinergy,
Are You one of those men who think woman/woman sex is a huge turn on? Why do men find that a turn on, but turn up their nose (and their penis down) to the idea of male/male sex? i think if men didn't have this big aversion to the idea of "gay", they would all be in favor of anal sex.. for themselves.

i also think 'homosexual acts' in prison are more about dominating than they are about sex.


I have done the fMf threesome, so I have been there, done that, have the t-shirt. It was amusing, but watching two women go at it is not what I would call a "huge turn on." I find other things to be huge turn-ons, but that gets back to the "dinner and a movie" and "paint my house" discussions.

I dont now why some men turn up their nose at two guys going at it. I suspect it is similar to what I posted on another thread about team affiliation. I would suspect that the people who have the biggest negative issues with two guys having sex probably are uncomfortable with their team affiliation. I am not interested in watching it, but I wouldnt fly into a rant if I walked into a room at the Lair De Sade and saw two guys going at it. Hey, it works for them.

Im not sure I agree with your comment about prison sex being more about domination than sex, although Susan Brownmiller in Men, Women, and Rape made a good case for that. I suspect that everything in prison has some measure of domination to it, and incarcerated men attempting to act on a biological imperative would probably have some measure of Domination to that act as well.

Just me, could be wrong, but...

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 7:06:47 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Then we have the question of bi-sexuality.


In my first post I address that issue extremely breifly to ignore it as that is yet another poll.

Thanks for your input.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 7:43:47 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Angelika,

quote:

quote:


Then we have the question of bi-sexuality.

Why does bisexuality have to be a question? It just is.


Congratulations! I never thought I could be quoted out of context on a written forum, but I tip my hat to the woman who proved me wrong on that.

In the previous paragraph I had two inquisitive sentences, two setting up a scenario and one questioning the definition even though it is a statement. In the paragraph after that I have two out of three sentence as questions. The remaining one is the fragment "Then we have trannies." (Then we have trannies, how?)

Speaking of those questions:

quote:

quote:


Then we have trannies. Post operation are they homosexual? Is gender in the chromosomes or between the legs?

They can be whatever their little hearts desire!


Thank you for ignoring them. If it was a joke mayhaps we should use emoticons. If it was not a joke "Is gender in the chromosomes or between the legs?" he asked again.

By the way I mentioned gays, lesbians, hetereos, bisexuals, trannies (to cover pre-op and post op. You accuse me of ignoring the vast spectrum under the queer umbrella. Please tell me what I forgot. Purty please with sugar on top. (Why am I telling how to "prove" your point? Am I amazed by the glaring omission in your argument? [Yes, your tone is argumentively mocking, like mine is now.])

just when I think it is over:
quote:


quote:


Is there a technical difference between lesbians and gays?

Yes. The lesbians have innies. They gays (and I’m assuming by your juxtaposition that you were specifically speaking of gay men here) have outies. That’s pretty technical imho.


So you are saying other than obvious physical differences they are the same. I have heard of the term lesbian bed death. Just so every one knows I'm talking of murder I've heard that lesbians can stop having sex almost entirely (the bed death) and still be madly in love but gay men (and in my experience hetero men) cannot. Is that too basic for a freaking PhD. to address?

quote:

Bratting doesn’t really work on me though.


If you lived next door I would not trust you to tie me up. It is only “bratting” if you are affected by it. Yes, by your act of responding you prove you are affected by it.

I see I have to be the adult (Not the dominant) and ignore your replies designed merely to provoke me. (Read your post: it is clear you want little more than to provoke me. Funny even in your earlier post demanding I acknowledge you designed your post purposefully to provoke me.)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 7:49:15 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		topcat,

I just want to point out after reading an idiodic rant designed primarily to provoke me you post was well written, to the point and answered the question.

Thank you.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 8:16:36 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 3240
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Montréal - Canada
Status: offline 		iwill --

I believe this has all gone too far. I tried to point out a weakness in your argument and you have gone to length to try and prove your point, which seems to morph and change on a frequent basis.

My last post was mostly tongue-in-cheek, sarcastic if you wish. No need for you to get your knickers in a twist.

And by the way, thanks for showing your true dominant side ;)

Peace out (at least on this thread)

- LA

_____________________________

An iron hand in a velvet glove.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 8:20:49 PM   
Sundew02


Posts: 458
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		My pick was other. For me only the individual person can make that call. I can quote all the definitions I want, in the end it is the person that decides if they want a label or not. As do I care, of course. I care that the person is happy and accepted as who and what they are. Sundew

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 8:35:18 PM   
Sundew02


Posts: 458
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		Having a mind and an opinion does not a Dominant make. I enjoy greatly the posts that iwill puts up. At least he is thinking and asking questions. For me the question in all its aspects is to stir the brain cells, and I do enjoy a good scrapping discussion. But I see no point in sweating the small stuff by picking the question apart. He asked a question, and I find it enjoyable to respond. And to read the other responses. I feel secure enough in myself and my sexuality to accept the question as he intended, an honest curiosity. Sundew

_____________________________


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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What defines homsexuality? - 7/11/2004 10:22:07 PM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 688
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline 		I chose other

to me, it is not a what that defines homosexuality, it is a who - more than one who actually

homosexuality is, IMX, defined solely by those practicing it

any other person trying to define it is simply applying their label, and hence their definition

Apply usual caveats here

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 19
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