Value of Poly Relationships

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Value of Poly Relationships - 8/25/2005 2:15:24 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 334
Joined: 7/29/2005
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I have recently started a poly relationship with my Lord and sis. At first I only hoped my sis and I could be friends, but I have found that it is much more than that and my relationship with her is as important as my relationship with my Lord. We all spend as much time together as possible and then we each have individual time together, not just individual time with our Lord but my sis and I spend time together that we cherish. I find that I am happier and more at peace than I have ever been. When the three of us are together there is this chemistry/energy.... we could finish each other's sentences; we anticipate each other's desires, wants, needs; we are in our own little space and the rest of the world just falls away.

I am curious, why others desire a poly relationship; what value do you get out of it; what needs, wants and desires does it satisfy? For me, each relationship satisfies a different set of needs and wants, each relationship brings out different aspects of my personality. I have more than one confidant and they each have different perspectives and opinions that help me deal with life. The quiet comfort of my sis balances the intense interactions with my Lord.

Knight's kyra

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RE: Value of Poly Relationships - 8/25/2005 6:09:35 PM

MsPurrmeow

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Joined: 10/30/2004
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Kyra,

You did a very good job of explaining my point of view on my poly relationship. Each person provides unique input and a unique thought pattern in each situation. Each person in our family adds to the information data banks as well as the support structure. In the past decade together, we've survived numerous things that would have been severely traumatic if we had each gone through them alone. We know that not only do we have TWO people to call if we need someone, but if something happens to one of us, the other two each have a set of shoulders that FULLY understand and are invested in the outcome, to lean on.

Congratulations and I wish you well. You've discovered that treasure that I think too many people are as afraid to find as they are desiring of it.

Purr

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RE: Value of Poly Relationships - 8/25/2005 7:42:34 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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For me it's allowing me to be more me, to give more love, to explore each connection that I can in any way that it grows without worry. I am allowed to fit everything- I get my cake and eat it too.

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RE: Value of Poly Relationships - 8/27/2005 4:33:43 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 334
Joined: 7/29/2005
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Thank you Purr.

They have been very rewarding relationships.

Knight's kyra

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RE: Value of Poly Relationships - 9/6/2005 1:29:52 PM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 146
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
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I have lived in a poly relationship with my previous Master. At first it was weird,it is ahard ajustment. It's hard work. More so than typical relationship. I also think that it's about fearing what you do not understand. Most people do not understand how someone can share their mate, Master, Mistress. It's about the unknown and the taboos that society used to and still does put on poly relationships.

Nika, Phoenix's Gothic slut

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*Into the river she drifted, chasing a phoenix flying over the rapids*

*Honor is not in our actions but in living with the consequences of our actions*

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RE: Value of Poly Relationships - 9/8/2005 5:45:27 PM

dognkitten9215

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For U/us, it had been more then just the cake and eating it,, but mmmm I do like cake, it has been a support network, in all aspects of the individual life of A/all involved. E/everyone has a set thought pattern and can make a differance when the other two may not have an answer to a problem. Aside form the love and sexual aspects, again I love cake, to have so much support and help in life and to be able to share that with a Poly family? What is better?

Lord Darkstorm (a.k.a. Dog)

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RE: Value of Poly Relationships - 9/10/2005 9:26:35 PM

thetammyjo

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
I am curious, why others desire a poly relationship; what value do you get out of it; what needs, wants and desires does it satisfy? For me, each relationship satisfies a different set of needs and wants, each relationship brings out different aspects of my personality. I have more than one confidant and they each have different perspectives and opinions that help me deal with life. The quiet comfort of my sis balances the intense interactions with my Lord.

Knight's kyra

I'm a complex woman. I have a wide range of interests and needs and desires. Honestly I'm not sure one person could give me everything I need.

I'm also pretty sure I couldn't give one person everything he/she needs.

So for me, being poly is really just realizing this about myself.

I don't want to rely on one person and I don't want to be somone else's one and only.

Now it turns out that in my family (there are three of us -- me, husband, and slave) I'm more poly in terms of being able to handle multiple intimate relationships. I've yet to feel overwhelmed by intimate commitments.

But I feel the same way you do, Knight's kyra, in that each partner allows me to be a different part of myself. But I get that from non-sexual friends and submissives or slaves as well.

I just can't imagine having only one person in my life I could be myself completely with. Poly offers me that opportunity in a way I didn't see was possible in the monogamous relationship my parents had.

Anyway this spirally off subject I fear.

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,
TammyJo

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RE: Value of Poly Relationships - 9/10/2005 9:31:21 PM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika

I have lived in a poly relationship with my previous Master. At first it was weird,it is ahard ajustment. It's hard work. More so than typical relationship. I also think that it's about fearing what you do not understand. Most people do not understand how someone can share their mate, Master, Mistress. It's about the unknown and the taboos that society used to and still does put on poly relationships.

Nika, Phoenix's Gothic slut

It is definitely more work and requires a lot of communication between everyone. The degree of communication needed and desired by everyone involved. I'd say it is not for everyone because of the need for this deeper level of communication between multiple people.

And it is easy, so easy, to fall into the old monogamous communication patterns if you aren't careful. The "tell him this" or you talk about the other person when you really should be talking to a different person. We've worked on this cause the guys were doing this and not talking to each other. I finally started walking away or saying "you two talk" when they were both in the same room.

You know, the guys talk a lot more now and things are so much less stressful for me because of it.

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,
TammyJo

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