Trying to switch

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Trying to switch - 3/7/2005 11:16:20 PM

carefulsub

Posts: 31
Joined: 3/7/2005
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[size=2]Hello
I"m new here, but I have a Dom that is also a Swtich and wants me to be the one that tops. I do not even know where to start. I am very submissive so this would be totally out of charactor for me. Any suggestions would be helpful

careful

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RE: Trying to switch - 3/8/2005 12:16:12 PM

SirKenin

Posts: 1078
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

The first thing that comes to mind is that you found the wrong Dom for your particular needs. I suppose you could somehow learn to Top, but I do not get the feeling from the bit you posted that that is within you to do. Only thing I can suggest is finding another Dom or letting Him have a polygamous relationship so that He might find a switch to meet His needs. I am not sure if this is what you wanted to hear though.

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Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

If someone has to tell you how smart (or great) they are, chances are they are not.

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RE: Trying to switch - 3/8/2005 1:13:30 PM

carefulsub

Posts: 31
Joined: 3/7/2005
Status: offline

He is actually more of a Play Partner Dom I am married to my Master/Husband. I would really like to try to do this for him. He knows that it would not be very often, and that it is totally out of my comfort zone and I think that is part of what intrigues him. I need a dialogue a plan some techniques that he might enjoy . I know I'm not a switch in real Time I am so sub it isn't even funny and he knows this as well. I think this is a test.

careful

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RE: Trying to switch - 3/8/2005 1:32:18 PM

SirKenin

Posts: 1078
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

If this is a test, I would be opening up the lines of communication in a hurry and telling Him that He is pushing your boundaries too far. If it is unreasonable to expect this of you, and I strongly suspect it is, then I would be frank with Him and tell Him so.

If you DO want to pursue this angle for whatever reason then the onus is on Him to teach you how to please Him in that manner. I am not sure I have any recommendations for you. What pleases a Dom is very much unique to that Dom. In other words, what pleases Him might drive Me nuts and vice versa

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Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

If someone has to tell you how smart (or great) they are, chances are they are not.

(in reply to carefulsub)

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RE: Trying to switch - 3/8/2005 2:48:18 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1416
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Go to sexuality.org, click on the bdsm link and read some of the article on technique and style. That's a pretty safe place to start acquiring skills.

I'd also suggest getting involved with your local scene and perhaps finding some r/t people who don't have rigid definitions of top/bottom/dom/me/sub/slave/master/mistress/right/wrong/inferior/superior. Someone who can't get past their own definitions is probably not going to be much help to you in finding new definitions for yourself.

I know a lot of submissives that top as a service. It's certainly not unheard of and frankly I think it's a pretty good idea for a bottom/sub to learn some technique. Information about good technique will help you identify when someone who wants to top you is talking out their ass (it happens). If it's pushing your comfort zone to take this role, but it's something you'd still like to try in spite of that comfort zone, then congrats to you and happy growth! The good thing about acquiring new skills is that nobody can take it away from you (barring head trauma). And if you decide it's not for you - well the good thing about being wrong is that you get to change your mind.

Good luck with it.

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In honor of the impending ski season: If you're not livin' on the edge you're takin' up too much space!

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RE: Trying to switch - 3/9/2005 9:31:48 PM

michelle11

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline

I have recently been taught to domme a new female slave of my Masters. It is much more difficult than I would ever have thought. I like it, but it is work.

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