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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Topping from below

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Topping from below - 8/1/2004 6:36:42 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I'm curious to hear from Dominants who have had both sexes as subs/slaves/bottoms. Who tends to Top from below more, men or women?

Is there a difference in how it is done. I would assume men are more blatant. ("Hit my left butt cheek at a 17.37 degree angle, spread mayonaisse on my head, and let me smell your pocket book, please."

Whereas a woman will let you think it was your idea.) I base this upon nothing beyond regular vanilla life, however. (No no c-workers ask me to spread mayo on their heads.)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

Post #: 1

RE: Topping from below - 8/1/2004 6:56:09 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 3240
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Montréal - Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

I'm curious to hear from Dominants who have had both sexes as subs/slaves/bottoms. Who tends to Top from below more, men or women?

I’m not sure if I would call it topping from the bottom so much as being more resistant and vocal about what they want, but women seem less passive then men *in my experience*. Submissive men tend to be more submissive then their female counterparts.

That is a very broad statement however because in general, it’s much more up to the individual. When playing with someone for the first time, I try to not pigeon hole them right away based on age, gender, experience, etc. Rather, I learn who they are and what makes them tick.

- LA

_____________________________

An iron hand in a velvet glove.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 2

RE: Topping from below - 8/2/2004 3:03:49 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

for Me it has been
females over males
but My female slave
ratio is 2 to 1 hence
it could be the statistics
as well iwill........ I do
have three slaves that
I have never had Topping
from the bottom experiances
with.....Most I find regardless
if Male or Female like to test
their boundries and My limits.

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 3

RE: Topping from below - 8/2/2004 9:49:13 AM

FatherMichael

Posts: 19
Joined: 7/18/2004
Status: offline

with due respect to those who have posted above me, I think everybody has been topped from the bottom, most times its 'accidental' as a sexual relationship turns into something with a more whole-self concepts...i.e. bf/gf, marriage etc. with that said I think if you're smart and hardcore as Mis.Dread seems to be that pro'lly isn't a problem....

the last one was my wife with her dom here, and for the record we started as lovers, who played with the kink for a bit, but our tastes were too far apart to let ying meet yang....anyway...but she got mad at him person to person and damned if he wasn't acting like a dog within hours. Kinda shocked me, though maybe I'm old fashioned and think if you have to bribe a slave with more than their own wants, then sumthin's not being done right.

but blessings on 'em both, if they're happy then I'm happy for em but it did show the most common (at least in my expierence) form of domming from the bottom

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 4

RE: Topping from below - 8/2/2004 9:53:07 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 3240
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Montréal - Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FatherMichael
with due respect to those who have posted above me, I think everybody has been topped from the bottom

I don't believe anyone here said they were never topped from the bottom. Nor has anyone mad a judgement call on topping from the bottom. We've simply tried to deconstruct it, as you have with your story.

- LA

_____________________________

An iron hand in a velvet glove.

(in reply to FatherMichael)

Post #: 5

RE: Topping from below - 8/2/2004 3:58:53 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I hear much about the Topping from below however not often
do I hear of a discussion about bottoming from the Top. Any comments on this little kink that sum Dominants dabble in would be of interest to the public as well I think and I beleive much more common then Dominants will admit to or the other Dominants,subs,slaves whom have experianced such will admit to.JMO

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 6

RE: Topping from below - 8/2/2004 4:27:49 PM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 830
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

In my experience males have always been more convicted in their submission. Seeking to please me with realistic thinking. Females always seem to have those "bump" moments, ie "I rearranged the kitchen, what do you think?" beaming with pride actually thinking, on some level, that I would be pleased.

That is an interesting question, Dread. I believe I can think of at least one instance where I may have done just that.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_____________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so that the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 7

RE: Topping from below - 8/2/2004 4:42:08 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

OMJAH!
I can TOTALLY relate to the kitchen and other rooms of the House being totally redesigned in My absence only to have to face tears when I say simply [put it back to the exact way I had it and it better be right this instant.]from several female slaves. Its like its been a initiation time as My other slaves tend to not say anything to the newer slave to see if they will tempt to enter and * make things better * to them...... LOL I think
its just another way they put their selfs up for punishment at the cost of anothers actions..... Whad Ya think?

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

Post #: 8

RE: Topping from below - 8/3/2004 8:42:52 AM

ThornBlood

Posts: 80
Joined: 3/5/2004
Status: offline

Hmm.. well. to tell the truth.. I would love to have my place rearrainged right now. Pretty much anything would be better. I frankly do not have the eye for that type of design. I know when I like it, but don't really have the talent to know what will work where yanno?

*Thinkin' I need a fung shui slave or somethin'*
John

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 9

RE: Topping from below - 8/3/2004 10:41:07 AM

Sinergy

Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Hello,

Both of the submissives in my life, as well as the vanilla relationship I was in a few years ago, said that I had exquisite taste in decorations and dressing people, as well as that I am a wonderful cook.

This explains why I live in old moldy t-shirts, faded and ripped blue jeans with stains from the docks on them, and flip flop sandals.

On the other hand, I had a clothes horse boss once express shock that I could tie a tie perfectly without a mirror. Im thinking "It is not rocket science" but then I thought he was nice and we worked well together, but found him to be a legend-in-his-own-mind wannabe middle manager type.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to ThornBlood)

Post #: 10

way off topic as usual - 8/3/2004 11:34:11 PM

Thanatosian

Posts: 688
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

quote:

On the other hand, I had a clothes horse boss once express shock that I could tie a tie perfectly without a mirror. Im thinking "It is not rocket science"

bet he tied his using a single windsor - is kinda hard to not make a perfect tie knot when you go ahead and do a full double windsor knot

want to really <insert sarcasm here> make friends and impress people??

tie a bow tie without using a mirror

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 11

RE: way off topic as usual - 8/4/2004 5:25:26 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

tie a bow tie without using a mirror

The Barney Fife approach to dressing doesnt appeal to me, plus it doesnt match my
flip-flops.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to Thanatosian)

Post #: 12

RE: way off topic as usual - 8/4/2004 7:25:25 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1416
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

The Barney Fife approach to dressing doesnt appeal to me, plus it doesnt match my
flip-flops.

Sinergy

HA! You crack me up.

Let's go have a drink.

_____________________________

Suz

In honor of the impending ski season: If you're not livin' on the edge you're takin' up too much space!

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 13

RE: way off topic as usual - 8/4/2004 9:19:23 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

HA! You crack me up.

Let's go have a drink.

Works for me. Will let you know the next time Im on the right coast, and if you get out to the left coast look me up.

Sinergy

< Message edited by Sinergy -- 8/4/2004 9:22:56 PM >

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 14

RE: Topping from below - 8/4/2004 9:42:15 PM

DrJohnSea41

Posts: 16
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I’m not sure if I would call it topping from the bottom so much as being more resistant and vocal about what they want, but women seem less passive then men *in my experience*. Submissive men tend to be more submissive then their female counterparts.

I tend to agree with this. Comparing my own experiences with those of my Dom and Domme friends it seems that men generally go "in character" much more readily. I'm actually not real surprised by this since men are culturally encouraged to indulge their sexuality moreso than women are and it's probably safer for them to do so. This doesn't necessarily correlate to "topping from the bottom", but in the local community here there are a much larger numer of female subs with reputations for "topping from the bottom" than male subs so this might be indicative of a larger issue.

John

_____________________________

"You can't reason a man out of a position he did not reach through reason"

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 15

RE: way off topic as usual - 8/5/2004 9:37:13 AM

Thanatosian

Posts: 688
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

quote:

The Barney Fife approach to dressing doesnt appeal to me, plus it doesnt match my
flip-flops.

I was thinking more along the lines of tophat and tails (which also wouldnt match your flipflops)

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 16

RE: Topping from below - 8/5/2004 4:57:25 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 3240
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Montréal - Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrJohnSea41
Comparing my own experiences with those of my Dom and Domme friends it seems that men generally go "in character" much more readily. I'm actually not real surprised by this since men are culturally encouraged to indulge their sexuality moreso than women are and it's probably safer for them to do so.

I never looked at it from that perspective before John. I'm not dismissing it but I'm not sure I agree with it...

I think that then women I know very much indulge in their sexuality. And at the risk of pissing someone off with this comment, I think has something to do with the fact that men fear pissing me off more then women. Men know they could be replaced much easier then a bi or lesbian female sub. Though that is not the way I operate, I see this pattern happen.

- LA

_____________________________

An iron hand in a velvet glove.

(in reply to DrJohnSea41)

Post #: 17

RE: Topping from below - 8/5/2004 6:43:55 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I was thinking more along the lines of tophat and tails (which also wouldnt match your flipflops)

*stands around Domly and stuff in tophat, tails, and flip-flops and opines...*

Says who?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 18

RE: Topping from below - 8/6/2004 12:03:01 AM

Thanatosian

Posts: 688
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

I didnt know they made patent leather flip flops - I stand corrected

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 19

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