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The Difference - 3/6/2006 8:02:00 AM

liltess

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline

I am interested to know this from everyone. I have read allot of profiles and each time I read a Dom's profile/journal entry it states how they have come across some profile where the sub/slave has stated in her profile how she does not want a Dom that is old [ I can only assume older than her]. My question is this, why when they do something that they are supposed to per advice from everyone which is stated exactly what you want and are looking for, that way it paints a clear picture for all. Why is the sub/slave called “superficial”, “cruel”, “unkind” and “self centered” not to mention told he/she is not being submissive?? But a Dom/Domme can clearly put in his/her profile similar attributes and you see NO journal entries from a sub on this matter. What is wrong with saying something like that??

In my opinion for those that say physical attraction does not matter are full of crap, as we all know it plays a big part. I don’t know one person online and in off that can honestly say “yep I didn’t even notice or look at that big birth defect or his/her weight “.

Ok that is my venting for the week. For any that read this and instantly take offense I apologize as I am not writing this to offend anyone, I just am curious as to why it is ok for a Dom/Domme to state those attributes but not a sub/slave.

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RE: The Difference - 3/6/2006 8:13:36 AM

IronBear

Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Of course looks matter. However if you have some wisdom, you don't make snap decisions about some one. I have certain fantacies of the women I'd like to collar but in the finalanalysis the one/s who will capture my interest enough to startthem on the way to a HoIB Collar and perhaps to my Personal Collar will not be based on looks alone but bu the person, her attitude, her need to serve, her as a person in all aspects.. I expect much, I demand all, but I will at any given time accept the best a person can give me. What I expect and demand of a slave is nothing compared to what I expect and demand from myself.

Just the views of an aging Grizzly and Gorean Master

_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear

Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........

The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly

(in reply to liltess)

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RE: The Difference - 3/6/2006 8:24:22 AM

liltess

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/9/2005
Status: offline

Thank you Sir Iron Bear, I agree with that completely but don't see why it is necessary to put that sub down for stating that in their profile.

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RE: The Difference - 3/6/2006 8:40:41 AM

littleone35

Posts: 403
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I agree if a sub or slaves states she does not want an "old" Master ( i personlly love older men) if an older Master contacts her, he should know she is not going to respond to him.

Looks they help but they are not everythng i would take a avarage looking Master ( if i was still looking. my Master is handsome) who treats me well over a movie star looking master who treats me like crap (unless that is a persons kink)

Matt's littleone

< Message edited by littleone35 -- 3/6/2006 8:49:48 AM >

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RE: The Difference - 3/6/2006 8:46:37 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 681
Joined: 1/23/2006
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Personaly I welcome them stating clearly that they are looking for someone between X and Y in age, even if it puts me outside their search range. Better that I know rather than waste my time when they have already decided I am unsuitable on that point alone.

I'm sure if they change their mind and think I maybe an exception to that rule they are more than capable of dropping ME a mail instead

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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RE: The Difference - 3/6/2006 8:54:16 AM

IronBear

Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: liltess

Thank you Sir Iron Bear, I agree with that completely but don't see why it is necessary to put that sub down for stating that in their profile.

My appologies, I missed covering that..

On a personal stance, a Master or any Dominant worthy of being called Dominant would not "put a sub/slave" down for stating their preferences. That rankles as much as the odd "Master" here in CM who pretends to be a Gorean Master in order to ensnare sub/slaves... (Perhaps castrations are in order). If I'm checking priofiles in the vain hope of finding what I seek, I bvless those who state their preferences age wise etc. It would be good (but impractical) to have a search facility which was able to not select those with preferences not matchig your profile.. It saves both time and possible embarasement.....

From another angle, I've had the occasion when I've contacted a subb or slave to complement them on their profile and received abuse for contacting them when I was outside the age group whom they were looking for a Master...... Guess it works both ways eh?

_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear

Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........

The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly

(in reply to liltess)

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RE: The Difference - 3/6/2006 9:48:22 AM

Submotive

Posts: 129
Joined: 9/9/2005
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quote:

Why is the sub/slave called “superficial”, “cruel”, “unkind” and “self centered” not to mention told he/she is not being submissive?? But a Dom/Domme can clearly put in his/her profile similar attributes and you see NO journal entries from a sub on this matter. What is wrong with saying something like that??

i want to put my ever lovin' 2 cents in here because one thing keeps coming to mind for me, in this post and others. Please subs - think for yourselves. Okay, i admit it. When i got involved in BDSM i had no idea what i was SUPPOSED to be as a sub. And that was my mistake. i'm not SUPPOSED to be anything - just me. So in reviewing profiles, answering replies, BE WHO YOU ARE. That is what this is all about for me - the chance to be ALL of who i actually am - not some replica of some dom's fantasy.

If a dom/me doesn't like the way i put my profile together and all they want to do is complain about it, that tells me alot about them right off the bat. It tells me they are not who i'd want. Because first of all i'm not interested in someone who wants to critique me - god knows i had enough of that as a kid. So, look into your own heart and know it completely, then always be true to it and let the rest of the egomaniacs who think they know how everyone else should be - pass on by.

Personally, i've experienced doms who've told me "you're not really a submissive, you're really a Domme and just don't know it". These are the so-called doms who think i'm supposed to kneel to them on first meeting and obey their every whim. Give me a break. So take what anyone says with a grain of salt and use your own judgment.

_____________________________

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i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

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RE: The Difference - 3/6/2006 10:27:55 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 2651
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: liltess
For any that read this and instantly take offense I apologize as I am not writing this to offend anyone, I just am curious as to why it is ok for a Dom/Domme to state those attributes but not a sub/slave.

Who says it's ok for doms and not subs? Hmm the same people who are saying you aren't a sub? Obviously you consider them the authority in these things?

No matter what you do, someone will tell you that you are wrong.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

(in reply to liltess)

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RE: The Difference - 3/6/2006 10:29:52 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 1026
Joined: 11/29/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: liltess

Thank you Sir Iron Bear, I agree with that completely but don't see why it is necessary to put that sub down for stating that in their profile.

Because many people can't seperate a preference from a personal slight.

_____________________________

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth (Jareth/ David Bowie)

"Last night I heard from good God above at the slap on my ass by a lipstick-kissed elbow glove."
~Shudder to Think

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RE: The Difference - 3/6/2006 12:10:31 PM

liltess

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/9/2005
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I agree with what everyone else has said, but have seen those comments even been told I was a Domme instead of submissive. But I also feel this is why so many new subs rush into a D/s relationship because of some J?A telling them how to speak, act and be submissive. I almost fell into that pit hole until I read something else and was like "hell no I am being safe and am on the right path"

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RE: The Difference - 3/6/2006 3:31:05 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 1026
Joined: 11/29/2004
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Oh trust me, I get the "you're not really a sub" thing all the time. Don't let it get to you. After all, no one knows you better than you.

_____________________________

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth (Jareth/ David Bowie)

"Last night I heard from good God above at the slap on my ass by a lipstick-kissed elbow glove."
~Shudder to Think

(in reply to liltess)

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