Stuck in the middle...

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Stuck in the middle... - 7/17/2005 8:26:00 AM

tabithaaz

Posts: 39
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

a little background info:
i served a Mistress last year in a purely D/s relationship. i thoroughly enjoyed serving Her. At the end of the contracted time, i had the choice of continuing or moving on. At the time i was working a lot and serving full time. i became overwhelmed and needed to step back, so i moved on. i also long for a normal relationship with someone (boyfriend'/girlfriend type of thing). i discussed that with Mistress, and She knew that was one of my desires. W/we continue to be friends and i talk to Her on a regular basis.

Now that i am in the real world, i have been dating on and off for about a year, nothing serious has really evolved, mostly a lot of first dates, maybe a second here and there. i have been having thoughts about going back into service to Her. But yet i still have the same desires for a vanilla relationship. i get that pain in my heart when i am alone. i loved serving, She gave me what i desired and i served Her to the level She expected.

My problem is that if i go back to serve Her. i feel that i shouldn't date, it wouldn't be proper. But i still have the desire for a relationship. i know that it may be out of loneliness (and a bit of the kink thrown in) that i want to go back, and it is something i have to work out for myself. But i thought i might ask what people thought. i can't really talk to my friends about this, they know nothing of my D/s side.

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RE: Stuck in the middle... - 7/17/2005 9:14:17 AM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 267
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Just my thoughts, but it sounds like you just need to develop a "relationship" with a Dominant (sounds like a Domme in your case) that fulfills both aspects of what you desire. It should be quite possible to have both.

_____________________________

Scooter.....It's not the destination..it's the journey

(in reply to tabithaaz)

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RE: Stuck in the middle... - 7/18/2005 8:25:43 AM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 254
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline

I agree with Scooter. The two should not necessarily be exclusive. Maybe you simply need to seek out a dominant that can serve in both capacities. From what I've seen here, most do. Very few people keep D/s clearly divided from their real-life interactions. A dominant that seeks a "companion" would very likely want a sub that would participate in normal activites as well as just the D/s side. My slave would be slave as well as boyfriend/partner, etc. They would need to be a part of my regular life and enjoy other activities with me as well.

Loneliness is NOT a good reason to be in a relationship. It's a cop-out. You can do other things to help with the loneliness, but I think it's doing a disservice to both you and the former Mistress to just "settle" because you couldn't find anything better.

Good luck

(in reply to tabithaaz)

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RE: Stuck in the middle... - 7/18/2005 8:38:50 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Whether what you ultimately find in fulfillment is with one person, two people or 5 people, this is what you already know:

1) You had a year with a person that was nice but not fulfilling

2) Nothings changed since then except you still haven't found what works

Why would you go back with the person, specially when you KNOW that it's not fully what works for you and it won't change? Don't fall into the trap of sticking with what you know just to be "with someone." I wouldn't consider it fair to them or to you, as Purr said.

It's tough being single sometimes, but perhaps the issue is not so much in not finding what you want, but not KNOWING what you want? Try just being happily single...that's generally when love comes in to fuck it all up.

(in reply to tabithaaz)

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