Please to all mistresses ?

Join Our Community

As the Collar Turns:

Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home Login Event Calendars Search

Please to all mistresses ?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Please to all mistresses ?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Please to all mistresses ? - 10/2/2005 9:17:41 AM

Ethan9

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

Hellos to all mistresses,

Been lurking a long time on the net and i am now taking timid steps into the whole sub world. I just wanted to ask you all dominatrixes :

Is it a way you all preferred to be called (ie mistress, lady, queen, ... ...) and is it a hierarchy for all those names or is it just depending on the preferences of the mistress.

Please answer the poor rookie sub i am. This way i will be able to serve the right way.

Thanks you all very much for taking the time to think about my question.

Ethan

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Please to all mistresses ? - 10/2/2005 10:07:28 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 506
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Talbot County, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

Hellos to all mistresses,

Been lurking a long time on the net and i am now taking timid steps into the whole sub world. I just wanted to ask you all dominatrixes :

Is it a way you all preferred to be called (ie mistress, lady, queen, ... ...) and is it a hierarchy for all those names or is it just depending on the preferences of the mistress.

Please answer the poor rookie sub i am. This way i will be able to serve the right way.

Thanks you all very much for taking the time to think about my question.

Ethan

First of all:

"Dominatrix" is a term predominantly used in fiction only; if it's used in the scene at all, it's to refer to prodommes...but really, I think the only time I've seen it used in the last couple years is by boys who spend too much time reading badly written fiction.

There is no hierarchy of titles in the scene. It's just what the dominant in question prefers to be called.

The best policy is to simply ASK the dominant how she'd care to be addressed.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."
Friedrich Nietzsche

(in reply to Ethan9)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Please to all mistresses ? - 10/2/2005 11:04:14 AM

onceburned

Posts: 2081
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood
"Dominatrix" is a term predominantly used in fiction only; if it's used in the scene at all, it's to refer to prodommes..

Very true. But the vanilla news media also uses to refer to non-professional dominas too. Of course, they are clueless so we can't expect better than that.

Ethan, welcome to Collarme/Collarchat. I think you can learn quite a bit from reading the threads that are posted here. Here is an older thread which has some very good advice: 10 Steps For Making A Good First Impression.

I think you will find us to be a friendly bunch. We are happy to answer any honest and polite questions you might have.

As a starting place for basic information you might want to look at The WizDomme Newbie Pack. Its full of time-tested, solid information. I recommend you pay particular attention to the safety articles.

< Message edited by onceburned -- 10/2/2005 11:07:32 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Please to all mistresses ? - 10/2/2005 1:58:17 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 1216
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Welcome to the boards Ethan9, and I do hope you will hang around and read as well as participate.
The best thing to do is read the profile and all journal entries. That should give you a good clue as to how a Lady would like to be addressed. For example, I say quite specifically that I should be referred to as Ma'am or Goddess. I am not anybody's Mistress until I am in some sort of relationship with that person and I allow that form of address. Yet I get many emails address to "Dear Mistress", "Mistress", or "hi mistress!"
And there are many Ladies who feel the same way.
I, also, am not fond of the term Dominatrix. It brings up the vision of the stereotypical Lady holding a whip while wearing shiny black latex. *Shudder*
You have made a good start on your profile:

quote:

From what i saw, female dominance is just a question of point of view ;-)... Her point of view of course

It made Me smile. Think about adding some more information about yourself. Although many Dominas do not browse the profiles as we are too busy, a Lady will check it when she receives a letter from you. So either put more information into an opening letter or make sure it is available on your profile.
The links Chris has given to you, above, are good ones to begin.
Good luck!

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 10/2/2005 4:53:26 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
Please do not get caught in that place where you think you know. Zen
Don't put Me up on a pedestal if all you want to do is look up My skirt
http://www.nitetflirt.com/Dustygold Hypnosis available
http://www.geocities.com/goddessdustygold

(in reply to Ethan9)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Please to all mistresses ? - 10/2/2005 2:01:39 PM

tarnishedhalo777

Posts: 118
Status: offline

My name on my profile if its an email or posting.My given name if I have shared that with you.In play that is something I would let my sub know.

_____________________________

I will not die the death of loneliness by being afraid to love and afraid to get hurt. I will not commit figurative suicide by leaving my potential underdeveloped because I am afraid to take risks.

(in reply to Ethan9)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Please to all mistresses ? - 10/2/2005 2:51:28 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 298
Status: offline

hello, Ethan9,

"Ma'am" works fine for Me.

*chuckling*

Texas Maam

(in reply to Ethan9)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Please to all mistresses ? - 10/2/2005 3:08:01 PM

Ethan9

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

I wasn't sure to get that much feedback and it is nice really.

So thank you very much MsSonnetMarwood, onceburned, GoddessDustyGold, tarnishedhalo777.

I will try to develop my profile a little as Godess DustyGold advices. Even if i have roam the net in search of the special things i thougth i could fit for fetish wise, i am a beginner at this ... that's why i take only slow steps trying to find a Mistress, Lady, Queen willing to educate me.

onceburned, those links you gave me are really helpfull. Thanks

Ethan
Newcommer and available slave

(in reply to tarnishedhalo777)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Please to all mistresses ? - 10/2/2005 3:26:31 PM

fastlane

Posts: 1386
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

Call em all Madame Biatch.......if you are reallly into punishment?

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Ethan9)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Please to all mistresses ? - 10/2/2005 3:50:31 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 495
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Call em all Madame Biatch.......if you are reallly into punishment?

fast assume the position you spanky monkey

I would stick with the tried & true...plain old fashioned manners, Sir or Ma'am unless told otherwise & be yourself.

(in reply to fastlane)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Please to all mistresses ? - 10/2/2005 4:12:43 PM

MistressJan

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline

Ethan:

Different Dommes require different things. I prefer Mistress_Jan. My trainer prefers to be addressed as M'amn.
A good rule is to say Yes M'amn if a Lady Dom asks you a question. Always treat all women as if they are Dommes. That way you will find yourself at ease with their requests.

Respectfully,

Mistress_Jan

(in reply to Ethan9)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Please to all mistresses ? - 10/2/2005 9:27:32 PM

DameDeviante

Posts: 11
Joined: 8/9/2004
Status: offline

Welcome Ethan, I hope you are enjoying collarme.com. As far as the proper form of addressing a woman, I would have to agree with Mistress Jan. Women in all shapes and forms deserve the same respect you would want for your mother, wife or daughter. It seems that when a woman is happy she can make a whole world feel at home.

Be in peace,
Dame D.

(in reply to MistressJan)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Please to all mistresses ? - 10/2/2005 10:56:07 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 2933
Status: offline

quote:

The best policy is to simply ASK the dominant how she'd care to be addressed.

I thought this covered it pretty well, so didn't want to repeat it.
For me it's Ms M/my name, or Ma'am.
Welcome to the boards Ethan9. M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Ethan9)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Please to all mistresses ? - 10/9/2005 9:14:02 PM

amazonlea

Posts: 28
Status: offline

Ask me... it depends on my mood.
Mistress makes me giggle.
Ma'am makes me feel old.
Goddess makes me roll my eyes.
Domme makes me look around to see who you are talking to.
Bi#$h makes me very happy.
C#$% will get you hurt.

And if you say just about any of them just right, with the right amount of feeling, and in the right tone of obedience, and after a really good orgasnm, you can call me anything.

B

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Profile

Post #: 13