New to poly, just need some feedback.

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New to poly, just need some feedback. - 3/5/2006 7:12:36 AM

kitiara

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline

Hi,
I have been with my Master for just over two years now. After a year together, I hesitated the suggestion that He needs other woman, because we do not always get to see each other as often as we want to. W/we talked about things for a number of months and have tried different ways of approaching it. At the moment He always tells me before He meets anyone else and I can ask any questions that I want.

There have been hitches, where I have struggled with jealousy, but He proved the fact that He does not want to hurt me, by finishing with the woman He was seeing at the time and re-assuring me. I know that He loves me and He is totally honest. Any women that He has seen know about me; He tells them that He loves me and calls them ‘friends with benefits’. He has told me that if a woman becomes too attached to Him that He will finish it with her.

It is only recently that I have realised that this makes Him poly, but that I am still mono, as I do not see anyone else and I do not wish to.

Is anyone else in a similar situation?

kiti xx

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RE: New to poly, just need some feedback. - 3/5/2006 7:53:50 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 350
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

I'm in something similar. My partner is monogamus to me because she does not wish to have a relationship with another person, especially a Dominant. I also have a slave that I see every other weekend when our scheduals permit. I have also brought in a submissive to serve me but for various reasons it didn't work out but we still see eachother on occation. She too was monogamus to me. She still states that she is and I have no reason to believe she would lie, but she is not bound to me. No, you're not alone, kitiara.

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Vini, Vidi, Dominatus

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RE: New to poly, just need some feedback. - 3/5/2006 8:28:21 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 524
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

From what you describe this would not be considered poly (at least by me). Like you said, friends with benefits or better yet... bootie calls.

Polygamy is having more than one spouse at the same time. I would think that since this refers to the term spouse then each partner would be offered the same respect, limits & yes LOVE that the other partner would receive.

I believe that the term poly has been grossly misused to the extent that anyone who incorporates more than one partner believes themself to be poly.

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MstrssPassion

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RE: New to poly, just need some feedback. - 3/5/2006 8:56:14 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 634
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Polygamy is having more than one spouse at the same time. I would think that since this refers to the term spouse then each partner would be offered the same respect, limits & yes LOVE that the other partner would receive.

I believe that the term poly has been grossly misused to the extent that anyone who incorporates more than one partner believes themself to be poly.

As usual, you were precise and to the point MistressPassion, wonderfully stated. It's the same way at our house. The three of us share our lives just as Scooter and I shared ours before she came to us. We're not swingers and we don't seek sexual gratification outside the home... we're just like plain old married folks... only there's three of us.

Jewel

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RE: New to poly, just need some feedback. - 3/5/2006 9:08:07 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 2651
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitiara

It is only recently that I have realised that this makes Him poly, but that I am still mono, as I do not see anyone else and I do not wish to.

Is anyone else in a similar situation?

kiti xx

I don't know that this makes him poly- it means you have an open sexual relationship and is a lot more like being a slut than forming actual relationships with people.

As long as everyone really is being up front and accepting the limits and parameters of the situation, it sounds fine to me.

Are you guys working towards becoming live-in or is the situation going to remain as it is now?

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RE: New to poly, just need some feedback. - 3/5/2006 10:23:16 AM

kitiara

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline

Thanks everyone,
In reply to Lucky, yes we are planning on living together one day, but children and schooling etc makes it difficult just at the moment.

Everything is up front and it is all built on honesty etc, but the definitions of poly can be confusing (to me anyway..lol). I have been reading the posts for a while now and taking it all in, but so many have different views etc. I do not think that I would ever be ready to live in a poly situation with Him having another full time sub living with us. But at the moment I am happy that He is getting what He wants and at the same time the dynamics suit me, because it can be humilating. (its difficult to explain).

once again thanks.