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Mistress' - 1/16/2004 2:01:30 AM

jstlooking

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Joined: 1/15/2004
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How do I find a Mistress???????

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RE: Mistress' - 1/16/2004 10:01:43 AM

scottguy506

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GO TO THE YELLOW PAGES AND LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE WALKING
SCOTTY

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RE: Mistress' - 1/16/2004 10:20:13 AM

ModeratorOne

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Please refrain from using all CAPITALS in posts.
People can read things just fine without that being necessary.

Thank you,

Moderator One

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RE: Mistress' - 1/16/2004 11:03:15 AM

scottguy506

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sorry

scotty

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RE: Mistress' - 1/16/2004 12:35:49 PM

Voltare

Posts: 467
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
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"And, indeed, among the many prostitutes who offer BDSM services, more are dominant than submissive, says Dr. Paul Federoff, a University of Ottawa psychiatrist who has studied sadomasochists. "You also might see a lot of dominant women at a BDSM nightclub," he says, but "although it's not the politically correct answer, more women in the scene are choosing the submissive role." In a study Federoff co-authored last year, he found that among 1,320 self-identified BDSM practitioners who anonymously completed a Web survey, 79% of women reported being "always or usually submissive"; only 35% of men did." - Time Magazine, January 19th 2004

The numbers loosely mean that 35 submissive men (who are generally more aggressive in their 'searches' for a potential mate) are seeking the attentions of roughly 21 dominant women. While I don't, personally, have the statistics availible on behavior patterns of these people online, it's safe to state that men tend to be more proactive in 'seeking' females regardless of their D/s orientation. In short, if you're a male sub, seeking a female dominant, you'd best be ready for some stiff competition.

Stephan

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RE: Mistress' - 1/16/2004 8:21:50 PM

MistressDREAD

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Reading the posts to date and noting that not one post answers the persons question, I will start by saying that there are many ways to get in contact with a Dominant Woman or Mistress. There are professional sites on line, all you have to do is type in Mistress in the address line of any page and many sites will appear. Keep in mind tho that most of these are Pro Dommes and come with a price. If you are looking for a on line Mistress for role play or fantasy full fillment I suggest the abundance of BDSM Ds or Ms chat rooms that cater to Our Lifestyle. If you seek a Mistress for real life experiance and training it would be good to start at your local munchies group and these are in every state of the US and across the world and to find one in your area simply type into the top address line to any page BDSM Munchies and also find a great list of many associations and munchie lists to find what you seek.Keep in mind that with in Alternate Lifestyle there are many many many * kinks and you do need to determine what yours are and also what your limits are in order to find the <right> Mistress for contract and scening that is fullfilling. If this information does not answer your queston well enough and is not enough for you to start your search, state you need more info and I will post sum links with the Moderators permissions where you can go. nameing a state or country where you reside will help in Me being able to post links in that area for you. when I am present here on COLLARMe I am in the WORLD of GOR chat room and if there is no afk after My name am present to answer any questions one has..... good luck in Your search

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RE: Mistress' - 1/16/2004 10:29:15 PM

MizSuz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jstlooking

How do I find a Mistress???????

If you're looking for a pro there are many venues, both hardcopy publications and online (but especially online) in which pros maintain some presence on professionally oriented message boards. AllStarDoms, MaxFisch, Dickie Virgin, and any assortment of others. You could spend some time on a board that is populated by reputable pros and begin a dialog with some there (on the boards). Get to know them a bit and see how they interact with other people (often the clientelle from the board will be a good percentage of the posting population on the boards, reviews, discussions about things that happened in session, etc., are all common topics for boards like those).

I agree with the notion that if you're interested in making a connection real time that isn't professional then one good way to get out and meet people is at munches, sloshes, group meetings and demos and the like. Try this link .... http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html

The thing to remember is that few people (pro or not) who are interested in getting to know you will be interested in your wish to hook up...at least until they get to know you to some extent or another. So you have to ask yourself, is spending time with someone who gives a fuck about you part of your agenda? If it is then part of the 'cost' of seeing anyone is taking the time to get to know them.

If it's not then I suppose going to the first person who will take your money is always an option. Beware, however; doing thus may get you what you pay for.

Suz

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RE: Mistress' - 1/27/2004 5:12:14 AM

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I supose it also depends on your definition of "Mistress". To me a Mistress is one who is capable of ownership, who has training and experience and knows how to manage a submissive / slave.

If ownership is what you are seeking, understand that is something that takes time. A collar to me is serious business, I can't imagine even thinking about collaring someone who I haven't had under me as a submissive forat least a year. Then again, there are the "velcro collar" types out there. Those that collar first and then hope it all works out. I won't even get into how I feel about that!

If you are talking about stricktly "play", then anyone who is into Topping will do. Or anyone who isn't interested in forming a relationship at this time. You should know, that many of us consider D/s and SM two different things. There are several that I play with in an SM scene, but we do not have a D/s relationship. That envolves time spent, service (not in just my bedroom and dungeon) and is something that grows in intensity over time.

So, you need to ask yourself what it truly is you want, and understand that imediate gratification (if you eventually want ownership) may not be possible.

A Tip: If you are truly seeking to be in service, don't go to her with a laundry list of what she can do for you to fulfil your fantasies. Know what your boundries and limits are, trust me she will ask. But rather let her know how you might be of use to her in non-sexual ways.

LK

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RE: Mistress' - 2/5/2004 4:22:33 PM

MistressDREAD

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I find sum of Your words from My personal experiance to be untrue
LK as I have two slaves whom I contracted on line for 6 months and
kolared with a concideration kolar with in a week of knowing them
and never knowing either one beforhand and when they followed thru
on My proceedures as I have set up have been quite complimentary
to My Home and kinks and a welcome addition of which one has a 1
year contract now and the other a 5 year contract of slavery and
servitude. I have also contracted slaves whom followed thru on
everything I had just met and when We did Our face to face ran
for the hills!! LOL! The point here is that there was not a
whole lot of investment on either one of Our parts here online
befor Our Real life servitude and Dominance took place and I have
signed contracts for servitude right out of Public Dungeons as well
and took the slave Home to serve and be adored. One thing I see
here is the Mono type Life and vanilla ways bleedover that many with
in Our Lifestyle seem to bring here and show when having a true desire
to find T/their O/ne to not only live life with on long term but their
kinks with as well. Remember, BDSM is not about finding a Mate
or Love for that matter but it can be a wonderful and fullfilling
side bonus of Our Lifestyle to find such but if You put this thought
FIRST in your search and invest a large amount of Your time and energy
here on line be you Dominant or suplicant and seek only this O/one
You will find your self shorted on lifestyle experiances that you might
have experianced and what You might find simply by eliminating
because they do not fit your vanilla side thought process in your
needs by seeking one whom serves both sides in stead of filling Your
BDSM side first and if lucky finding that One. Just My Opinion~~
from sumone who makes non conformity work!

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

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RE: Mistress' - 2/6/2004 5:04:52 PM

niginuk2001

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Mistress DREAD
May I say how nice it is to see someone take it as real and not a joke. I am a male sub and am owned so NO I am not looking Just wanted to let you know that it is nice to see others out ther who are REAL

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RE: Mistress' - 2/7/2004 8:53:16 PM

TiffanySlave

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/7/2004
From: Maryland
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Well I didn't just find one. My wife was mainly vanilla and we used to play around alot and then we started with the D/s and she liked it. We have done it on and off 3 years. We were not a hardcore D/s lifestyle couple. But we did do it when we felt like it. SO to answer the question.... I didn't look for a mistress I just found one. If you have a girl or a wife just start by being very submissive in the bedroom. Please her first and well. Also tend ter her when she needs things. Drinks and snacks at the tv etc.. After a while she will enjoy these things. Then you may get into others and discuss being dominated and hey tie me up etc.. there is no way to find a mistress but that is how it happend upon me. But Email or Im'ing a women and saying I WANT TO BE YOUR SLAVE etc.. will probably not work :)

:)

_____________________________

Hugs & Kisses
TiffanySlave
http://www.TiffanySlave.com

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RE: Mistress' - 2/8/2004 10:50:57 AM

slaveed8

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/4/2004
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Voltare posted that 35% of the men in the scene were submissive whereas only 21% of the women were dominant. Assuming that there is an equal number of men and women in the scene, I guess that the rest of his post is correct. I am just curious though if there may be more of one sex than the other who are in the scene. Depending on the answer to that it could be better or worse than 35 sub men seeking the attention of 21 dominant women.

Maxfisch.com has listings of pro dommes around the world and is a great place to find one. However if you are looking for a relationship, I would suggest getting involved with the local bdsm community and going to munches.

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RE: Mistress' - 2/14/2004 2:01:42 PM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
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Slaved8,

There seems to be about ten sub males to a Dominant female. I hear that "good" submissive males are rare. "Good" sub males must try to stand out from guys who just want kinky sex, somehow. (Good luck finding out how. When you find out tell the rest of us, OK?:)) With the knowledge that there are nine guys who would gladly take my place would make me extremely courteous lest she go fishing in that pool.

If you contact a Dominant, one thing I recommend is actually reading her profile. Guys (not just subs) are horrible at that. (On vanilla sites it is understandable, but her the actually tell the truth about what they are looking for. [Truth, what a concept.:)])

Need proof? I have a genital shot on my profile because when I didn't I'd get Doms telling me my vagina will be dripping wet (or things were they clearly did not notice I"M A GUY!!!) Lesbians regularly get hit on by guys who can't read past the third line that says, "NO MEN!!!!"

Another thing is use spell check. I don't think "I relly wnt to be wth you," will make a good impression unless she stated she wants to own an idiot.:)

Another thing is write more than one sentence. "I really want to be yours," is a note the other 9 morons can send her.

In the end remember these are women, actual women, not just life support systems for whips. (I forgot the name of whom I stole that line from. I have to ask her permission to use it. That is not a submissive thing just a polite thing.)

If she's interested she'll write back. And then you can explain the things about you she won't like (like I have my kids from a previous marriage on Thursdays and Sundays and if that is inconvenient i need time to go back to court.:)) You can also explain things like not having a picture on your profile. (Sometimes it is a good reason, Marv Albert.:))

Deal with that only on the second note if she is interested. I know many women will scream that you should be honest and upfront, but how many of them reply to a five paragraph note about why they might not want to deal with you?

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

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RE: Mistress' - 2/15/2004 9:22:33 AM

TiffanySlave

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/7/2004
From: Maryland
Status: offline

Sometimes just talking and making friends online is a good way. I have been approached by several mistresses without pursuing any. Like I said one turn off would be instant messaging a mistress with things like "I wanna be your slave" - "I am on my knees" etc.. as they have heard that a ton of times. Emails with on liners of the same are silly to. I Have met people via chatrooms and my own website. I haven't had relationships with any as I am married and recently separated but was very faithful. Back to the point is that you can meet a mistress sometimes if you don't look so hard and just relax.

_____________________________

Hugs & Kisses
TiffanySlave
http://www.TiffanySlave.com

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RE: Mistress' - 2/15/2004 10:43:20 AM

TiffanySlave

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/7/2004
From: Maryland
Status: offline

.

< Message edited by TiffanySlave -- 2/15/2004 1:45:30 PM >

_____________________________

Hugs & Kisses
TiffanySlave
http://www.TiffanySlave.com

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RE: Mistress' - 2/16/2004 5:38:15 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I think you meant "How do i find a Mistress that is worthy of my submission?" When you find out how, please tell me.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

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RE: Mistress' (to LK) - 2/16/2004 12:52:36 PM

MistressRana

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/15/2004
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LK:

You seem quite knowledgable about seeking a Mistress. I seek a slave that has at least an ounce of sense, and it appears you may have more than that. Are you currently uncollared?

MsRana

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RE: Mistress' (to LK) - 2/17/2004 4:34:00 PM

TiffanySlave

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/7/2004
From: Maryland
Status: offline

Who are you talking to? Oh and my wife was my Mistress / Wife but we didn't get into it all day and night. It was more sexual. But I did do housework and get her food and drinks etc.. like a good housewife but I wasn't told I had to or anything. I took good care of her but she had other issues and I said we should split. So I am separated. I am looing to make friends now.

Take care [[[[hugs]]]]

_____________________________

Hugs & Kisses
TiffanySlave
http://www.TiffanySlave.com

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RE: Mistress' (to LK) - 4/8/2004 9:12:15 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
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~~BUMP~~

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

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