Love and D/s

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Love and D/s - 9/19/2005 8:12:29 PM

leavemealone

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline

I have found that if I am not in love I cannot submit to someone. And I mean, complete love and complete trust with prior friendship where the Dominant thinks of me as a person and friend first and a slave second. Only then can I give my all. But on the dominant side in the past.... I didint have to have love in the partnership.....

What does this make me? I have no more wish to dominate anyone but after being hurt after the first time I submitted to someone I love I don't know if I can ever submit again either. Though the desires are still there. On the dominant side...I can't help it but if someone messages me and they are too nice I have the urge to dominate them. I'm not a bad person... just a little confused at times

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RE: Love and D/s - 10/9/2005 6:57:48 PM

ShadeDiva

Posts: 999
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

I can't believe no one posted to this.

Hurt and pain take TIME to heal. Heal yourself fully before casting your eyes to another relationship, I think that is the worst mistake people make, not allowing themselves time to heal.

It sounds like you have a lot of inner work to do, which isn't bad, but better to start sooner than later.

And some folks just need to full on love, nothing wrong with that and it just makes you someone that needs love to be a part of the mix, that's all.

Good luck and no you aren't weird. *smile*

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RE: Love and D/s - 10/19/2005 6:45:26 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 1466
Joined: 12/3/2004
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When I am in love, discipline is at it's up most on the one I am in love with. After all, the more I love someone, the more work, caring, and strictness I put into the that person. For when it's more than just passion, more whip I put into the my lashin.

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RE: Love and D/s - 11/4/2005 4:54:51 PM

LadyCompassion

Posts: 84
Joined: 11/4/2005
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quote:

I have found that if I am not in love I cannot submit to someone. And I mean, complete love and complete trust with prior friendship where the Dominant thinks of me as a person and friend first and a slave second. Only then can I give my all.

I am engaged to the man that I submit to. He is the first person and the only person that I have ever submitted to. We have complete love and complete trust. And I think that is a wonderful thing to have with someone.
I know that I am this way because I was hurt in the past with vanilla relationships and maybe you are the same. But I dont think that it is bad that you need trust and love first.

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RE: Love and D/s - 11/9/2005 9:37:32 AM

Jacques1000

Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
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What does that make you ? HUMAN.

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RE: Love and D/s - 11/9/2005 5:31:13 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 1512
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

I'm not a bad person... just a little confused at times

The human condition for many people

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RE: Love and D/s - 11/9/2005 6:50:46 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 1886
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Since you are not here really, it is hard to talk bout this.

Seems normal.

Seems not ALL CORRECT.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Good luck,
Ron

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RE: Love and D/s - 11/9/2005 8:33:58 PM

Quivver

Posts: 664
Joined: 11/27/2004
From: Rural OZ
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Interesting, if I read you correctly you say you've been dominant and didn't need love in what you called a partnership, yet.... As a submissive you need ~ more ~. Could it possibly be that your trust issues are more so then being hurt, possibly even from somewhere inside you since as a Dom you didn't need or possibly even want that emotional attachment?
Please don't think I'm trying to be mean, far from it actually as I understand your hurt and position all too well. .... we all get confused at times. Especially after something we think is right shows up not to be, worse yet when were blind sided by it. I wonder if the hurt as a Sub makes you want to Dom thinking that doesn't eat at your heart like giving yourself did.
I guess since the desires as you say are still there staying away to figure it all out isn't always an option since eventually you'll bust if you've no outlet. I'd suggest finding a way to feed the desire be it serving others or on a more physical note maybe the local group in your area will help you through till you can feel whole again.

Good luck........
Q

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