Limits - sort of, kind of like

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Limits - sort of, kind of like

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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off Topic Discussion >> Limits - sort of, kind of like

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Limits - sort of, kind of like - 3/6/2004 5:04:46 PM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I've been thinking about limits. We all have them. I noticed a thread in mine.

I don't want anything done to me where a small screw up can lead to my death and/or disfigurement and/or brain damage.

Ask any insurance underwriter, accidents happen. I plan to live forever or die trying. (I also have very little brain left.

)

Anyone else find a thread going through their limits. (Beyond, "Things I am uncomfortable with"

)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

Post #: 1

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 3/25/2004 7:55:19 PM

roseofpromise

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/26/2004
From: MD
Status: offline

Respected posters,
I would keep far away from a Master/dom/Domme who refuses limits. As a female Sub..I look for warning signs and no limits is a big one.The are some serious dangers out there and some( speaking of men here) who are woman haters. There have been a couple of women murdered that I know of( My H.S. friend and a Master is a cop and told me about this.)Please be careful.
I say when there is real doubt....DON"T. If you were given a a funny feeling inside and have doubts..that's something I would listen to.Your gut instinct is usually right!

_____________________________

{quote}Service which is rendered without joy helps neither the servant nor the served. But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy." Gandhi

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 2

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 3/25/2004 10:09:20 PM

Estring

Posts: 1266
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

As far as preventing brain damage, I think it's too late for you iwill.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 3

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 3/26/2004 1:58:53 PM

proudsub

Posts: 3896
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

As far as preventing brain damage, I think it's too late for you iwill.

TOO FUNNY!!!

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 4

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 3/26/2004 2:36:03 PM

seattleminx

Posts: 46
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

I've been thinking about limits. We all have them. I noticed a thread in mine.

(snip)

Anyone else find a thread going through their limits. (Beyond, "Things I am uncomfortable with")

Most of my limits deal with objectifying me. I don't like masks, don't like being people's furniture, and hate being ignored (Although "being ignored" isn't a limit I give people, it's just a natural dislike). Anything that makes me feel like I am simply used can devastate me given the right circumstance.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 5

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 3/27/2004 7:46:53 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
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seattleminx,

How do you define "being ignored." I get the feeling that being tied up and left in a closet a she watches "Jeopardy!!" is not what you mean.

(I could be wrong.)

Estring,

It is not how big the brain is (or how many cells are alive) it is what you do with it!

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to seattleminx)

Post #: 6

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 3/27/2004 7:50:09 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Is walking into that one proof of brain damage?

(Side note based on misspelling: Is brain domage what a dom can get from a sub?

)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 7

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 3/27/2004 9:55:52 AM

seattleminx

Posts: 46
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

seattleminx,

How do you define "being ignored." I get the feeling that being tied up and left in a closet a she watches "Jeopardy!!" is not what you mean. (I could be wrong.)

It's actually somewhat close, but I admit there's a fine line here. Putting me into a corner because one doesn't feel like domming on a given night, rather than as a punishment for something I've done, seems cruel on a certain level. It will make me feel like the domme is no longer interested in me as a sub.

I do realize that a domme can and should do what comes naturally, and if it's simpler to put me into a corner and ignore me for hours, then fine. I'm not asking anyone to interact with me on a 24/7 basis. But it does screw with my mind a fair amount. But probably because I have some abandonment issues

But like I said, it's not a limit I have, just a natural intense dislike.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 8

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 3/27/2004 10:27:42 AM

topcat

Posts: 1013
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Long Island
Status: offline

midear Minx-

that's actually a great limit- not so much for what it is, but because you understand and articulate it, and it's roots.

I've run up agianst the opposite many times- someone can give a specific limit- no hoods, for example- and then fell the Dominant has failedto respect a limit when he uses her as a footstool. I have had relationships where I still couldn't explain what the limit _really_ was, and they couldn't either.

stay warm,
Lawrence

(in reply to seattleminx)

Post #: 9

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 3/28/2004 11:22:14 AM

seattleminx

Posts: 46
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline

Thank you topcat... how nice of you to say!

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 10

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 4/3/2004 12:34:01 PM

Mistress Mary

Posts: 48
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

I think everyone is entitled to hard limits..but as far as a sub's limits goes,,it's a hoot to push their limits as far as they will go..Think thats sort of a given

in any D/s relationship

_____________________________

I'm Going to HELL..Whose coming with Me?

(in reply to seattleminx)

Post #: 11

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 4/3/2004 4:02:21 PM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I'm Going to HELL..Whose coming with Me?

I hear Norway (or is it Sweden) can be real cold in winter.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to Mistress Mary)

Post #: 12

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 4/3/2004 5:58:48 PM

Mistress Mary

Posts: 48
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

Colder then Hell?? LOL

_____________________________

I'm Going to HELL..Whose coming with Me?

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 13

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 4/12/2004 10:10:11 AM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 830
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seattleminx
Putting me into a corner because one doesn't feel like domming on a given night, rather than as a punishment for something I've done, seems cruel on a certain level.

I'm obviously new here in the message forums, and I've just kind of walked in with my non-traditional self and opinions. It is certainly not my intention to deliberately offend anyone, and that said, I'll go on with what I was going to say.

Not only is this cruel, but it is wrong on so many levels. For any relationship to succeed it requires balance, agreement, and communication. Clearly that isn't present in that situation. That would be one of my limits. Lack of communication.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_____________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so that the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to seattleminx)

Post #: 14

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 4/30/2004 10:56:23 PM

MasterHyde

Posts: 67
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

I would keep far away from a Master/dom/Domme who refuses limits. As a female Sub..I look for warning signs and no limits is a big one.The are some serious dangers out there and some( speaking of men here) who are woman haters.

If setting your own limits is important to someone, then they should absolutely follow rose's advice above. I'd like to pose another question, though, if I may. How do others perceive their limits? Are they hard and fast rules, or guidelines? More importantly, do you feel your limits are protecting you, or do you see them as challenges to overcome? I personally see most limits as falling into the latter category.

Rather than treating one's limits as sacred ground, I see them as simple expressions of humanity, which is, after all, imperfect. I find it more fulfilling and satisfactory to treat limits as obstacles. My goal is more often than not to overcome them. This is not ALWAYS the case, since some limits are just impossible to overcome. However, I don't like to focus on those. I prefer to find the ones that CAN be overcome, and create a responsible plan for doing so. It might take months or years to do so in some cases, but I find it encouraging for both me and my "object" to know that there is a plan in place for helping her achieve a level of submission that up until this point has been unattainable.

_____________________________

Master Hyde
The self-righteous, poly, dominant, possessive control freak with strong paternal tendencies and a sadistic inner child

(in reply to roseofpromise)

Post #: 15

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 5/1/2004 2:40:53 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

The quick and easy answer is "it depends"

I see limits in the beginning as essential sacred ground. One who tresspasaed on the limits and ignored me screaming my safeword to "push" them is a person I may press charges against.

As we get to know eachother, perhaps they become more like limits to be overcome. Of course we are talking like marriage level trust here.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MasterHyde)

Post #: 16

RE: Limits - sort of, kind of like - 5/1/2004 11:33:02 PM

MasterHyde

Posts: 67
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

The quick and easy answer is "it depends"
I see limits in the beginning as essential sacred ground. One who tresspasaed on the limits and ignored me screaming my safeword to "push" them is a person I may press charges against.
As we get to know eachother, perhaps they become more like limits to be overcome. Of course we are talking like marriage level trust here.

iwillserveu

Oh, absolutely. While I enjoying pushing limits and finding ways to overcome them, it's not something I do in the first few weeks of a relationship. It's very important to build trust, and to understand just how far is "too far" before you start testing someone's limits. I guess, for me, the relationships I seek are ones where that "marriage-like" trust exists. It doesn't happen overnight, though. It's something that has to grow over time, with a lot of care and nurturing along the way.

_____________________________

Master Hyde
The self-righteous, poly, dominant, possessive control freak with strong paternal tendencies and a sadistic inner child

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 17

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