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Inlaw trouble... - 5/15/2004 3:19:34 PM   
Katmistress


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/27/2004
Status: offline 		This may be off the subject here but I am going crazy here!!!
My inlaws make me crazy..They interfere with everything going on here. I really resent their interference in our marriage!
They finally moved to another state but call way too often - my slave (husband) tells them everything that is going on here and they use all this information against me to talk him into leaving. He tells them all negative about me - nothing to do with the BDSM though.
I really DO NOT WANT their "help" I just want them to leave us alone! W/we have separated quite a few times because of them already.
They always cause trouble in my marriage and disrupt my house. They don't ask me they talk to my husband then what they want to do is shoved down my throat.
The latest is my husband is in the hospital and his sister shows up here - can I do this can I do that yadda yadda yuck my answer is yes leave us alone!
W/we have a flea market here and above my strong objections he had his sister run the store today...That is the last straw for me. I am soooo mad I am beside myself.
His sisters are always stabbing each other in the back and laughing when they screw each other and I am suppose to want to be around these people? Who is sick here? What can I do to rid myself of these people?

< Message edited by Katmistress -- 5/15/2004 9:32:44 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/15/2004 7:56:15 PM   
Estring


Posts: 1266
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		You have a husband who is controlled by you and controlled by his inlaws too it seems. He is a Momma's Boy. By his nature I don't think he will ever stand up to them. So, as long as you have him, you get the inlaws too.

(in reply to Katmistress)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/15/2004 9:52:57 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Sorry Sugga but
the problem is
not the inlaws
and only half
your slave/hubbies.
This is a issue of
control and Dominance
and whom holds it and
from the looks of it
it is not You. So back
up take a deep breath
and re evaluate YOUR
position in this relationship
and then put YOUR best
foot forwards and make it
do the work that needs
to be done here on Your
self. And FYI This has
e v e r y t h i n g to do
with BDSM and Your
relationship with Your
slave/hubbie. Dont
YOU have a contract
Sugga that the both
of YOU should be sticking
to and doesent that
contract have in it
his limits?? Take
the phone away and
if he has sumthing
to say to his parents
have him write a letter
to them that he is aware
that YOU must appove
befor it is sent off to them
and if he has negitive things
to say about YOU then He
is no slave nor husband nor
HONORABLE or a BDSM with
values and intengrity. JMO
when he married he was to
put YOU first above all others
isent that even what the christian
way is as well written in a bible
sum where if You wanna go sum
where else other then using YOUR
BDSM affiliation with Your hubbie.
In Your words I do not see either
a Woman of Dominance in action
nor a man of slavery in action.

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 8:58:00 AM   
topcat


Posts: 1013
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Long Island
Status: offline 		M. Kat-

I faced a similar problem- we weren't married, but co-habitating, and her family got a lot of infomation that I considered inappropriate, negitive, as well as 'just none of thier bussiness'.

The real root stemmed from the fact that my family and I are quite distant (I would not go so far as to say estranged [is Estranged the bald M. or the girl?], but close), while she is very close to her large family.

Her family is as benign as I could hope for, and I am quite fond of them, both indiviually and as a group, but it was a serious issue. Componuded by that was the fact that I normally stay compleatly away from controlling a slaves communication with anyone, But in this case, I had to lay down some law.

It is compleatly within your rights to limit the sort of information he may share with his family, you must be able to sit down and define it clearly. In my case, it was to put my health, job, and our relationship down as 'Fine' and no more could be discussed with out prior clearance.

This is a tough issue, and is a relationship issue- Not a BDSM issue.

Good luck-
Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to Katmistress)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 9:15:25 AM   
rain


Posts: 319
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline 		Sorry to digress but:

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat
[is Estranged the bald M. or the girl?],


That is too dang funny! As far as i know topcat, there are not Estrangeds, however it could add to the ongoing amusement and confusion of folks with E...nicknames!

- In terms of in-laws, let me just say this....although i am not married, my sister's in-law's (and i have to interact with them as well) are extremely obnoxious and interfere with their lives frequently. i honestly have no idea how my sister puts up with it. The one saving grace is that my sis and her family live in NY, while her in-laws are safely tucked away in Maryland.

i am not particularly close to her husband's family, as i hate how they treat my nephews and my sister, and while i feel for my sister, i am glad to have some distance. i greatly dislike getting involved in family battles, but i will always love and support my sister.

And again, i don't have in-laws myself, however, my father has many relatives here in Illinois, (outside of Chicago) but b/c they are uhm, a wee bit "off," i've not told ANY of them i live here! (and i've been in Chicago for almost 2 years!)

Good luck to you, family relationships are complex and sometimes frustrating.

~rain~

_____________________________

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 9:20:17 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Katmistress,

Sorry about the spelling. I am rushed but I agree with Dread. Although they are not binding (sorry Dread) a contract with your hubby is good comunication.

Second, gut hubby into a chastity belt post haste. He needs to know that Mommy is not boss. (No, that won't cure all your problems, but it will help. Even if it is just a reminder to him to consider you when talking to Mommy and Daddy.)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to Katmistress)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 9:47:47 AM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 688
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline
quote:

Second, gut hubby into a chastity belt post haste.


iwill - realizing that this is a fetish for you, do you propose it as a solution for nearly every problem? is it such a strong fetish that its a case of 'when all you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail'?

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 11:38:28 AM   
Estring


Posts: 1266
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		That is iwill's solution for world peace too. Get all the world leaders in chastity belts post haste!

(in reply to Thanatosian)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 12:40:27 PM   
ModeratorThree


Posts: 902
Status: offline
quote:

Get all the world leaders in chastity belts post haste!



Now there is an incredible ideal ;)




*takes notes*



Mod3

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 3:33:06 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
I would of agreed with You
Topcat if it was not the BDSM
issue that has the family conflicted
however She has made a picture
that it is ALL about the BDSM relationship
that has the family at odds hence it
is in My Opinion the BDSM side of the
relationship that has to be re established
and the lines in this side of the Lifestyle
that needs to be layed down. If She
had not painted the BDSM part as She did
then I would of agreed that this was a simple
Vanilla type relationship issue but it is plain
that it is not.

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to ModeratorThree)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 3:52:58 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		She states that Her hubbie is Her
slave..... not submissive but slave
quote:

my slave (husband) tells
them everything that is going on
here and they use all this information
against me to talk him into leaving.
He tells them all negative about me -

this is not the actions of a slave nor
a husband whom is happy in his
marraige. (Lifestyle issue and Relationship issue)

She states that her inlaws drive Her crazy
but in their eyes I am sure are only tempting
to protect Their son by the comments above
hence the comment here and Her opinions are
directed to the wrong person as it is Her hubby
slave whom is causing this conflict with his
negitive words to his parents as She states
discussing his slavery to Them then says
not the BDSM which conter dicks Her own
words.
quote:

my slave (husband) tells them
everything that is going on here

(Lifestyle issue and Relationship issue)

She states that Her and Her slave have separated
because of the actions of others and You know
Topcat that only Our Own actions cause reactions.
quote:

W/we have separated quite a few times
because of them already.

She claims to be in a Dominant position however
I do not see Her in any way being the Dominant
in Her words so I can understand the slave not
being satisfied.(a Lifestyle issue)

She states that there is a obvious Trust issue here
Why is a slave running a business from a hospital
bed and why has he omited his wifes/Dominant
from its tending to??
quote:

W/we have a flea market here and above
my strong objections he had his sister run the
store today

(Lifestyle issue and Relationship issue)

She asks Us for Our opinion into what We see
I see a Woman and Dominant OUT of Control.
quote:

Who is sick here? What can I do to rid
myself of these people?

the slave/hubbie seems to be the sick one as
he is the one in the hospital for who knows what.
and the only way to get rid of inlaws is to get a
divorce period. Now Topcat You see how I determined
that this is a Lifestyle issue over a relationship issue
because of the score of My evaluation ~smiles~
Relationship-3
Lifestyle-4

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 4:16:03 PM   
Katmistress


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/27/2004
Status: offline 		This has been an ongoing problem of the 3 years that we have been married. We have only been in this lifestyle for a couple of months.
The contract was working great until this hospital stay.
I work a full time job somewhere else and W/we work the flea market when I am not at my other job - he runs it the rest of the time.
His sister asked HIM - not U/us if he wanted her to open the store - and over my strong objection when I found out he let her open it anyway. This really ticked me off.
There are going to be some tough lessons here and some real serious issues tackled as soon as he is well enough. First priority is getting him healthy.
I really appreciate the feedback here!

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 4:35:22 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Only Three Years?
Goodness the way
You talked You had
been together like
20 years!! You havent
even gotten to the 5
year itch...Either
go see Your Religious
Leader or a Marriage
Councelor and discuss
ALL OF YOUR ISSUES
and Lifestyle living to
them. His family sees
sumthing You obviously
are not. Get sum help
here. If the Lifestyle
thing with the two of
You is in the bedroom
only drop it for a bit
till You get Your regular
life back in sum kind of
normalcy then take it back
up and learn a bit more
of your roles and what
they mean and how to
apply them in a SSC
manner. Your upset
so again I say take a
step back and dont
kick a gifted horse in
the mouth. You work
full time and his sis has
come to help so that You
are not holding the whole
responcibility and Im sure
your slave/hubbie knows
sumthing We here do not
about You so accept the
gift of help in kind for now
till he gets better and then
sit down and discuss calmly.
And hey Your welcome as
We here are all Human from
extream different backgrounds
so a good diverse opinion can
be gained here to Help You make
opinions and see things from differing
prospectives. Good Luck and Ill burn
sum healing herbs for yours to gain
wellness again

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to Katmistress)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 5:12:08 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Thantosian,

Yes, it is a fetish of mine. Do you think a few weeks without being able to orgasm MAY cause one to focus on the one that can allow it?

Estring,

It would not help about world peace. "Whirled peas" maybe...

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to Thanatosian)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 8:32:58 PM   
MistressKiss


Posts: 296
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Slave or submissive, contract or no contract, in-laws can make your life a living hell. I feel for you - it's not only frustrating, but hurts the heart when there is strife concerning the in-laws. Frankly, your husband needs to grow some balls where his family is concerned, and I say that in the nicest way. It's amazing to me that although in-laws often claim that they are interested in the well-being and happiness of their son/daughter, it is often their own agenda that they are promoting. I wish you the best of luck as you work toward a resolution in this area.

No offense to those who have great in-laws...I am sure there are some out there...somewhere!!!

_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

(in reply to Katmistress)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/16/2004 10:43:03 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		I left my verbally abusive ex-wife years ago. She ended up with my parents in the divorce.

Bitter, party of one! Your table is ready.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to MistressKiss)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/17/2004 4:57:08 AM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 688
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline
quote:

Do you think a few weeks without being able to orgasm MAY cause one to focus on the one that can allow it?



but of course it will

was just struck by the number of times, over the course of many threads, you have proposed this particular solution


and depending on the type of chastity belt (i.e. how it holds the penis) it might lead to "whirled pee's"

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/17/2004 7:59:59 AM   
rain


Posts: 319
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring
That is iwill's solution for world peace too. Get all the world leaders in chastity belts post haste!


LoL-

BTW- Bush believes in abstinence, Lucky Laura! (ok, not quite the same as chastity, but...)

~rain~

_____________________________

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/17/2004 8:18:54 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

BTW- Bush believes in abstinence, Lucky Laura! (ok, not quite the same as chastity, but...)


I think the only thing that Bush truly believes is that he is infallible and anything he thinks has to be correct, and doesnt require further study.

If you read about his administration, you can find that the climate is one where you either agree with and fabricate evidence to support what he thinks, or you find a new job. Got to love a person who doesnt bother to find out what all sides of an issue are, and instead surrounds themselves with Yes-People.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to rain)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Inlaw trouble... - 5/17/2004 8:22:31 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Oh My Thanatosian
You speak as tho
You know personally
the capabilities of such
a devises abilitys on
a cock. ~giggles~ or maybe
a male slave showed U
what happens?? ~giggles~
quote:

and depending
on the type of chastity
belt (i.e. how it holds the
penis) it might lead to
"whirled pee's"

I prefer the
vision of a Master
with one of these
on!! ~giggles~ taint
nuttin like self
experimentation!!
and sumone to watch!!
oh gawd whirled pee
gives Me SUCH A VISION

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to rain)
Profile   Post #: 20
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