How do you handle relatives?

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How do you handle relatives? - 6/16/2005 8:40:26 AM

nymbus

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Joined: 3/7/2005
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I've been reading this forum since it opened, and haven't seen this particular topic addresed. For those of you in full-time live-in relationships with more than one person, how do you handle relatives? It's easy to stay in the closet around family with just a D/s relationship, but what happens when you bring two women to grandma's house for christmas dinner?

Are most of you open about your relationships, and if you're not, then how do you hide it? I'm just curious about how that works. Thanks.
-nymbus

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RE: How do you handle relatives? - 6/16/2005 9:49:16 AM

SweetDommes

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Because of the arrangement that we wanted, we don't have this problem - one boy goes with Holly to family functions (although if I have the time off and my family isn't doing anything, I do go along too ... but I'm her best friend of the last 10 years, so it's not a big deal), and the other boy will go with me to my family stuff (unless my family scares him off ... yes, it is a possibility).

I have known other people who have been open to their families about it, and take everyone to family events (when they go).

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RE: How do you handle relatives? - 6/16/2005 11:15:47 AM

asissyforher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
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SweetDommes;

i was shocked and happily surprised. i found your text here in my mailbox, and was moved by it.

"i" do not know what family is. to take one of the "boys" to family....wow. You floored me.
THAT is the kind of Domme "i" want!

a slave

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RE: How do you handle relatives? - 6/16/2005 11:52:04 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 1329
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: Southern California
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I've told just about everyone I know (upon being asked who am I dating... when will I get married, etc.) that I'm not monogamous, won't be getting married and do not typically "date" as they would understand dating.

My parents know... and don't care. My sister knows... doesn't care. My friends know... and occasionally tease me by calling me "greedy".

And everyone else thinks that when I get older I'll settle down and have scads of children. Ugh.

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RE: How do you handle relatives? - 6/16/2005 2:21:38 PM

Lordandmaster

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Joined: 6/22/2004
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RELATIVES ARE A LOT EASIER TO HANDLE THAN ABSOLUTS

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RE: How do you handle relatives? - 6/16/2005 3:53:19 PM

wolfspirits

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Joined: 6/7/2005
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We Had A "Wife" For Awhile. We took her every Where.. We Introduced Her As Our Wife Or I Silver Would Say "My Wife" And M. Mtn. Wolf Would Call Her His Second Wife. We Also Have Children. So They Referred Her As "Aunt" We Are Pagan So Being Out And Poly Is Easier I Think. Anyway The Relationship Ended About 2 Yrs Ago. Wolfspirits

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RE: How do you handle relatives? - 6/16/2005 6:43:07 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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As with most "coming out" issues, it has to do with your comfort level, your openness level with the people you will be coming out to and the level of "need to know."

In poly you're not only outing yourself, you're outing everyone involved with you. Some of my relatives know (in fact I was owned by my aunt and her second husband for a year), some just know that I enjoy being "free" and not looking to marry "the one."

I have yet to be in the situation where I am with my intimate partners all together in a vanilla biological family gathering. In that case I would likely be appropriately close to them, but not overly mushy. It's a very southern thing that everyone acts as polite as they can to every new person, so as long as we play it cool, it shouldn't be a problem.

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RE: How do you handle relatives? - 6/17/2005 4:25:03 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 634
Joined: 12/2/2004
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We are "out" to my family. My older sister just looks shocked occasionally, but understands. My younger sister is a Domina and is living with her submissive, my second daughter and her girlfriend are beginning to experiment with the lifestyle, my oldest daughter, even though she lives in Texas, knows about it and we openly discuss it and my son is an admitted submissive to his wife. Needless to say, there are no problems with taking a third person to our family get togethers, in fact our female submissive is often treated like another sister by my family. We live in a small town (really small) and our friends and neighbors wonder, but none ask... and believe me, they have had the opportunity to ask, most have seen the chains on our bed and the flogger hanging from the wall sconce. No we don't generally give grand tours of our home, but since this house was at one time the neighborhood eyesore we will show off what we have done in the remodel. Even the guy that does our tattoo work is fully aware of our livestyle choices.

I have to admit, I can't imagine what it would be like to have to hide wiitwd from my family and friends. It would have to be hard.

Jewel

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RE: How do you handle relatives? - 6/21/2005 11:44:13 PM

gabriella26

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Joined: 6/21/2005
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My husband were quite open about his relationship whit us as a family, and the three children he had whit my sisters were spoiled rotten by their grandfather just the same!
I lost my own child before her birth at the time my husband were killed by a drunken driver so he had kids whit the three of us, and there were never any problems at the leap year family gatherings (Which were huge!), since it was an open secret that my husband besides being a prodigy were also rather *unique* in his taste and wiew of the world(s).
But i dearly misses him