How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/s/o isn't?Help.

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Polyamorous Lifestyles >> How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/s/o isn't?Help.

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How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/s/o ... - 8/13/2005 12:59:50 PM

QueenandmyBitch

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

Hello all,
New to the boards so bear with me.. I KNOW I want to be poly, but my slave won't, yes I know he is MY slave but he is also my s/o. How do you go about finding other Polys in your area? Is being in a Polyamorous relationship all about sex or is it more? I am VERY VERY curious about this lifestyle! Thank you in advance.

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RE: How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/... - 8/14/2005 1:28:54 AM

DominantMan4f

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/12/2005
Status: offline

SlaveGirlTraining.com
First things first. Work with your slave till they get over their fear of a poly relationship. Finding another slave is easy, finding a good one is the trick. By stating what you really want in your profile and posts and any wear else will help. It is a numbers game til you find what you want. The harder you search and use easyer ways to find what you are looking for, like posting and the more links you put to your profile the easyer it becomes to finding what your looking for.

< Message edited by DominantMan4f -- 8/14/2005 1:38:49 AM >

(in reply to QueenandmyBitch)

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RE: How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/... - 8/14/2005 5:30:24 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 1931
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenandmyBitch

Hello all,
New to the boards so bear with me.. I KNOW I want to be poly, but my slave won't, yes I know he is MY slave but he is also my s/o. How do you go about finding other Polys in your area? Is being in a Polyamorous relationship all about sex or is it more? I am VERY VERY curious about this lifestyle! Thank you in advance.

There is an excellent book out called Ethical Slut from Greenery Press (the same nice folks who publish me) www.greenerypress.com

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www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to QueenandmyBitch)

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RE: How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/... - 8/14/2005 11:05:05 AM

ChereeAmoor

Posts: 184
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline

I would say that no, poly is not all about the sex - I am living in a closed triad right now, and it took us years to get to this point. For us, polyamory is about love and companionship and trust and respect and friendship. The sex is phenomenal, true, *smile* but that is more of a sweet side effect than the major reason we ended up where we are.

I think a lot of the problems with polyamory is that people get in a hurry, and are not willing to take as much time getting to know the OSO (Other Signifigant Other) as might be needed. It took my husband/Master 2 years to get me into bed, and he says it was worth the wait. We used those 2 years to cement our friendship.

There are several polyamory sites, Loving More has one, and Polymatchmaker as well, also PolyPlaza. I guess you could always use Google to find groups in your area. Oh, and I for one have never read any books on how to have relationships of any sort *sheepish grin* - I have heard "The Ethical Slut" recommended but personally have no clue on that aspect. The sites I am a member of, and moderator on one, so those I can pretty freely recommend.

Best of luck to you!

(in reply to JohnWarren)

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RE: How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/... - 8/15/2005 12:24:05 AM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 254
Joined: 10/30/2004
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First of all, I would NOT recommend Ethical Slut as your first book. That book pretty much does focus on the sexual aspect.

www.lovingmore.com
Put "polyfamilies" into Google and you'll get a ton of sites.
Same with "polyamory" or polyfidelity" That's more than I can give you a link list for.

As for your partner being monogamous, that's okay, too. If he can understand what polyamory is really about, and what it is FOR YOU, then that's fine. He doesn't need to be involved with others to support you. I have two monogamous partners, that are completely poly in their understanding and acceptance. We are a family, and we are a family that will grow. For us, it's about family, not about simply sex, or even "friends with benefits" (Phrases other people might use.) As long as you value his input and are willing to go slow enough that he is not left "out" of the change and the process, you should be fine.

As for finding other groups, just put poly or polyamory into Google along with "Alabama" and a lot will come up. Understand that general Polyamory groups may not understand your D/s relationship, but most are open-minded.

Feel free to keep asking questions and stay involved with threads under this topic. Good luck in your journeys.

Purr

(in reply to QueenandmyBitch)

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RE: How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/... - 8/15/2005 4:53:42 AM

smilezz

Posts: 489
Joined: 6/18/2004
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I also do not suggest The Ethical Slut.....quite honestly, it did not give me enough information. I will add, i am sure it has some use to others, it just was not for me.
Here are a few sites that can give you some useful information. In the end, it's up to each individual to decide. If you are able to find others in your area that live this way.....that was a great help to me. Talk Talk Talk. I realised that i did not have to be Poly to be in a relationship such as this. I am strictly Monogamous to Thorns...He is wired for Poly. The major key to all this............Communication.

http://www.polyamory.org/
http://www.hopesplace.net/polyamory/relinks.html
http://www.polymatchmaker.com/
http://www.xeromag.com/fvmonopoly.html
http://www.polyamorysociety.org/
http://www.polyfamilies.com/index.html
http://www.laps.org/relation.html

Good luck in your search...

~smilezz~

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RE: How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/... - 8/15/2005 4:56:48 AM

smilezz

Posts: 489
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

First things first. Work with your slave till they get over their fear of a poly relationship

First thing first...find out if this is an interest to the other person.

~smilezz~

_____________________________

"Please excuse my Sense of Justice...it's the only thing that saves You from the Slaughter"

"What you cannot enforce, do not command - Sophocles"

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RE: How do you find Polys in your area? Help. - 8/20/2005 7:01:36 AM

melcha1

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

I am curious about the sites that are being posted. I have visited a few of them albeit a few years ago. The frustrating point for me is that I found very few who had any understanding of BDSM or even the D/s aspect as we discuss it. It might be a part of how they live but they do not recognize it as such. Does anyone know if there are any sites specific to polyamory as it realtions to BDSM.

I am a sub who is quite interested but not interested in just jumping in. I have seen that fail way too many times. Unfortunately, my first experience was with a couple where the wife agreed to the relationship (I think for the sake of keeping her husband) but when all was said and done, the more I tried to befriend her, the more she pushed away from both. So I walked away.

mel

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RE: How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/... - 8/20/2005 1:32:52 PM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
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in regards to site www.lovingmore.com

"Due to overwhelming complaints from our members, we no longer accept registraton form those who are married, couples or in a relationship and looking for something other than penpals................"

Well MsPurrmeow............lol.....that was a wild goose chase and a definate waste of my time trying to climb aboard that site....

...anyone else with the same issue?

~~shy

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....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/... - 8/22/2005 8:28:41 PM

PappaScott

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/14/2004
Status: offline

Yep, you are correct. Lovingmore.com is a singles site. Lovemore.com is the polyamourous site you might want to examine. It is the site for Loving More magazine.

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RE: How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/... - 8/22/2005 10:27:27 PM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 254
Joined: 10/30/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PappaScott
Yep, you are correct. Lovingmore.com is a singles site. Lovemore.com is the polyamourous site you might want to examine. It is the site for Loving More magazine.

You are right. I mistyped that URL. I went there myself and wondered what the heck was up. Geesh!

Thanks for the correction. They certainly have don't so anyone favors having the magazine and website called two different things.

www.lovemore.com
www.lovemore.com

Ok, got it now.

(in reply to PappaScott)

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RE: How do you find Ploys in your area? Also.Your Ploy/... - 8/27/2005 8:34:11 PM

dragonnette

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Joined: 8/22/2005
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Try http://www.polyamory.org/ there is a list of local support groups as well as lots of great information about polyamory in general.

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"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was
not my lips you kissed, but my soul."-

(in reply to QueenandmyBitch)

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