Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe.

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Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/4/2006 5:21:58 PM

knees2you

Posts: 1129
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

This was a letter, well a couple of lines that I
recieved on CollarMe.
I thought it was Really Hillarious.
It is from a Mistress.

quote:

YOU NEED TO SERVE ME!

YOU LITTLE B*TCH AND YOUR ASS IS MINE I THINK IT NEEDS TO BE RIPE RED SOON!

My question is what is the Funniest letter or one/two etc. liner
that You have ever recieved?

Sincerely, Ant

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/4/2006 5:52:26 PM

foxglove716

Posts: 588
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline

Lol knees thats a good one.

My favourite was one that I just got a few days ago. It simply read...

quote:

I own you?

Thats right. Question mark included.

< Message edited by foxglove716 -- 1/4/2006 5:53:00 PM >

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/4/2006 5:54:14 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 798
Joined: 8/2/2005
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

I had someone beg for my mailing address so he could send me a homemade cheesecake.
Needless to say...I didn't give it to him.

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You're just as cool as a bug.

(in reply to knees2you)

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/5/2006 10:13:56 PM

DiamondDiva

Posts: 219
Joined: 10/10/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I had some idiot email me and tell me that I was not a Domme and that I was a "CUNT" and the only thing a "CUNT" is good for is to be F%$*$#. Needless to say I put him on ignore immediately. Noone talks to a DIVA that way.

_____________________________

~Diamond Diva~

" If you are going to play, PLAY hard if not GO HOME!!!

(in reply to Aileen68)

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/6/2006 2:25:36 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 541
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I had a "sub" list his opinion of me as well as 20+ other Mistress' (complete with their names and reasons why he had such opinions) here on Cm. As if I or any of them care in the least what he thinks. HA!

_____________________________

-Tress

"If a woman has to tell you that she's a lady, chances are, she isn't."

(in reply to DiamondDiva)

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/6/2006 2:30:44 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 1447
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

I had a great one from a guy...from Ghana...affecting a sort of Jamaican accent...not easy in print, mind you...telling me that I sure picked a good screen name (DesertRat) 'cause I "look jus lik a big ol sewer rat".

I asked him if he was willing to relocate.

Bob

(in reply to knees2you)

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/6/2006 4:00:24 PM

windchymes

Posts: 517
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

LMAO! DR, sometimes you are just priceless!

chymes

(in reply to DesertRat)

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/6/2006 4:01:23 PM

siamsa24

Posts: 2052
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I asked him if he was willing to relocate.

That's it. You owe me a new keyboard, you caused there to be juice all over this one

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/6/2006 4:11:38 PM

miticantenslaved

Posts: 193
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

miti had a rasta tell her she has "Beautiful Energy, Mon"

i told him to lay off the ganja and get his a$$ here, as i needed a house bitch.

funnily enough, i had no reply...

*i cried for days*

~miti

_____________________________

~If that which you seek you do not find within, you will not find, without *D. Valiente*~

~not only that, This is mit's week of Terry Pratchett Quotes...use extreme caution~

(in reply to knees2you)

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/6/2006 4:21:16 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 1931
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

I had one of these "one line at a time" emailers who called others' kinks "sick". When I chided him about it, he responded that, in effect, he was ignorant and bitter.

[sad shake of head]

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www.lovingdominant.org

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/6/2006 7:37:25 PM

SirKenin

Posts: 1078
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

I do not get any of this crap in My mail box. I seldom get letters because I put I am not interested in anyone (I already have a common-law bride, one of the things I love about Canada. Besides, the Internet is one big mud puddle... What kind of fish do you catch in a mud puddle?), but when I do they have ALL been really nice. I have not run across one jerk yet.

It makes Me wonder what the magic formula is for attracting these wierdos.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

If someone has to tell you how smart (or great) they are, chances are they are not.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/6/2006 7:52:29 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 1447
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

I do not get any of this crap in My mail box. I seldom get letters because I put I am not interested in anyone (I already have a common-law bride, one of the things I love about Canada. Besides, the Internet is one big mud puddle... What kind of fish do you catch in a mud puddle?), but when I do they have ALL been really nice. I have not run across one jerk yet.

It makes Me wonder what the magic formula is for attracting these wierdos.

Read my profile, get some pointers, and you too can be approached by a rude rasta from Ghana. You don't know what you're missing!

(in reply to SirKenin)

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Post #: 12

RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/6/2006 8:05:39 PM

SirKenin

Posts: 1078
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

I read Your profile, but I can not for the life of Me see what brought on that kind of response? Heh.

I do have problems with foreign countries, though, and I am currently developing My nuclear program. I already have the ICBMs, now I just need something to put on them..... hehe.

The problem I have with them is through My business. These jerks send Me an email, usually in bad English, through My website demanding immediate delivery of a sizable order and they will pay Me with a credit card. Much of it comes from Singapore, and all of them are using Yahoo addresses. What they are doing is fraudulent, but if you get caught up in it, you are screwed. You lost all that money. The first time I ever got an email like that I did a search before I responded and read up on it. When I found out what was happening, I emailed him back and said "how about if I just contact your local Police and Yahoo instead?" Needless to say I never heard back from him.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

If someone has to tell you how smart (or great) they are, chances are they are not.

(in reply to DesertRat)

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/6/2006 11:16:12 PM

knees2you

Posts: 1129
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

I do not get any of this crap in My mail box. I seldom get letters because I put I am not interested in anyone (I already have a common-law bride, one of the things I love about Canada. Besides, the Internet is one big mud puddle... What kind of fish do you catch in a mud puddle?), but when I do they have ALL been really nice. I have not run across one jerk yet.

It makes Me wonder what the magic formula is for attracting these wierdos.

quote:

Read my profile, get some pointers, and you too can be approached by a rude rasta from Ghana. You don't know what you're missing!

Sir Kenin has it Right Trust me! I have the same problem,
people who can't speak the laungage or read.

Sincerely, Ant

(in reply to SirKenin)

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/7/2006 8:04:44 PM

Hallittlelolita

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

awhile back ago i had gotten a message from this guy saying He was in the San Clemente area and he wanted me to give Him a golden shower and that he would pay

that message got an attomatic delete block lol

Sincerely slavegirl andie and her Master Hal

(in reply to knees2you)

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/7/2006 8:26:45 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 1767
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

I own you?Thats right. Question mark included.

LOL now that is funny. Nothing like a Master/Dominant asking if he owns you.

My funniest was

"I am just what you need for the rest of your life"

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Daryl Worley

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/7/2006 9:36:09 PM

miticantenslaved

Posts: 193
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

My funniest was

"I am just what you need for the rest of your life"

THOSE always make me wonder if they are serial-killers or something...

*ponders innocently*

~miti

_____________________________

~If that which you seek you do not find within, you will not find, without *D. Valiente*~

~not only that, This is mit's week of Terry Pratchett Quotes...use extreme caution~

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/7/2006 11:08:55 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 1767
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

THOSE always make me wonder if they are serial-killers or something...

*ponders innocently*

~miti

LMAO...hmmm...and here I was thinking they were sinfully rich, with lots of neat little cars, HUGE houses in several countries..........

darn

/shakes head in wonder

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"I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life"
Daryl Worley

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/8/2006 12:20:25 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 1078
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

Hmmmm. On that note I think I am going to send someone a message that goes a lot like this... "I am your worst nightmare. Want to get together and have wild, no holds barred, kinky sex?"

I wonder what kind of response that would generate.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

If someone has to tell you how smart (or great) they are, chances are they are not.

(in reply to IrishMist)

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RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. - 1/8/2006 6:54:17 AM

windchymes

Posts: 517
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

Hmmmm. On that note I think I am going to send someone a message that goes a lot like this... "I am your worst nightmare. Want to get together and have wild, no holds barred, kinky sex?"

I wonder what kind of response that would generate.

Well, most likely, someone would start a thread that stated "Someone sent me an email saying he was my worst nightmare! Is he a true dom?"

chymes

(in reply to SirKenin)

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Post #: 20