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Edge Play! - 10/3/2005 7:27:04 AM

MistressJan

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/3/2005
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I had my training session with my Mentor Saturday (In Person), and we sceened with my slave. She had him on the cross again, and applied five needles around his nipples. He almost fainted, but did not.
I am still in fiance mode. When I see him uncomfortable, I tend to back off. She told me not to do this anymore, and I assure you I will not. She took him deep into slave_space. He is fine. He loved it. He is on her level.
What I am asking from you ladies is how do you overcome love and go on into Mind Control. That is what I need to do.

Respectfully,

Mistress_Jan

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RE: Edge Play! - 10/3/2005 6:29:49 PM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 384
Joined: 6/29/2005
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Hi Jan,

I think I am also a work in progress when it comes to holding back a bit in scenes. What has really helped me is to have my boy tell me how much he needs and enjoys what I do to him. Knowing how much he craves what I do to him and seeing his reaction to the things I do has allowed me to relax and get more intense in my play.

Be well,
Julie

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RE: Edge Play! - 10/4/2005 11:28:13 AM

MistressJan

Posts: 25
Joined: 6/3/2005
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Jullie:

That is some good advice. I know I feel better when he tells me to continue. That way I know he is not under his limit.
Good luck to you and your boy.

Respectfully,

Mistress_Jan

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RE: Edge Play! - 10/4/2005 8:55:41 PM

MsHoney2you

Posts: 31
Joined: 11/27/2004
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I tend to think you are simply not understanding that what you do is because you love him, not because you wish him harm. I suggest you find a form of play that YOU are comfortable with and then you will be able to take him where he needs/wants to go and you too can get the rush of seeing him take flight.

To do this I use ball slapping and visualization. Starting with light tapping on his balls he is afraid at first but my voice tells him to concentrate on what I am saying, focus on my voice as I tell him where I want him to go, what I want him to feel and that he is secure and safe every step of the way. I have had WONDERFUL results, love what happens to them and to me while they take flight. WHAT A RUSH. And all is safe, I am assured I have not and am not harming them in any way and to hold a man's most sacred body part while he takes flight.

For me there is no greater joy a sub can give to me than their trust. To gain that trust I have GOT to be secure in myself and what I am doing. Good luck,
Ms Honey

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RE: Edge Play! - 10/4/2005 10:58:31 PM

Sylverdawn

Posts: 234
Joined: 1/1/2004
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tries again...

Im going to be blunt about thisl I would question your motivation in doing this. For me I am motivated by the desire to control someone's submission love has nothing do with it. For example I dont do needles.. for any reason.. I cant stand them.. if a boy wants needles he needs to go somewhere else. A submissive in my view needs to find his place at my feet literally through service.. that service is determined by my desire/control and his graceful acceptance of that control. If he comes to me and says ma'am I would really like x y and z.. and none of them interest me the none of them happen.. I might if it so pleased me let him find someone to do x y z that while I controlled the outcome but only because it so pleased me. I am not now nor will I ever be the fulfillment of someone else's desires to do so makes it about them.. I love myself enough to be who I AM.. and my submissives enough to give them of myself so they can find a slave's heart in that service of me. To do less than that is to cheat us both.

< Message edited by Sylverdawn -- 10/4/2005 10:59:32 PM >

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"Yes, we women are inventive," she said. "Be careful. When you find your ideal, she might easily treat you more cruelly than you like."

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RE: Edge Play! - 10/9/2005 9:10:23 PM

amazonlea

Posts: 28
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Embrace your inner sadist....

Find your own edges and push those... Explore all the possibilities... if pain isn't your thing, find out what is... there are so many ways to play and so many edges to play with, you are bound to find one that you share.

B

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RE: Edge Play! - 10/10/2005 8:05:38 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 634
Joined: 12/2/2004
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quote:

What I am asking from you ladies is how do you overcome love and go on into Mind Control.

If he needs food, do you give it to him? If he needs a blanket, would you give it to him? You have to understand that this is something he needs and out of the love you feel for him you are fulfilling that need. Try talking to him after a scene while he is still in that space, ask him to tell you how wonderful it was for him and how much he loves you for giving that to him and really listen, not just with your ears, but with your whole body and mind.

Jewel

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RE: Edge Play! - 10/10/2005 10:52:10 AM

LadyCharly

Posts: 9
Joined: 1/18/2005
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I have seen this happen so many times over the years... First absolutely do nothing that makes you uncomfortable or you are not well versed at and have researched extensively about the activity you wish to explore. Also be sure and take a course on basic first aid/CPR!

With that said, what I have seen many times is a D/s/M/s relationship turn into a vanilla love one. Unfortunately I haven't seen any that were successful. Now before I get way laid here lol there is a level of love I guess you can say within a Lifestyle relationship. But "in love" as in vanilla is not what I seek nor want as a Mistress or a woman for that fact. Yes my slaves have a level of love for me, but they know that I do not seek vanilla. Also I have seen when a Dom falls in love and then cannot take the sub/slave to the level he/she needs and hence they become miserable.

With a sub/slave there comes the platue of what they are receiving is not enough, so they need it to be taken up a notch. After a time they may hit their final platue with pain/pleasure, then again they may not. Some literally can reach a point for wanting to die for you. Yes that is the extreme example(Although I've had about a half dozen ask me to kill them), but that is where you're responsibility as a dominant and decent human being comes into play.

I guess it all boils down to....Are you willing to go to the edge (responisibly) or not? And can you hurt the one you love because he/she craves it? Oh and ask yourself are you a dominant cuz that is in your soul or are you one cuz your partner desires you to be?

Food for thought... Ah and remember, communication is so very deep and important.

Lady Charly

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RE: Edge Play! - 10/26/2005 7:20:00 AM

MzBootz

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/31/2005
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Jan, honey...if you are not "driven" to engage in certain activities - for ANY reason - do not feel compelled to do so. You are the Top here...if your bottom needs more intense play than you are comfortable with, then you both need to communicate your feelings to each other. One solution is to have another Top involved, as you have already done - I personally have derived great pleasure in "assisting" in scenes with my bottom.

A relationship should be empowering and satisfying to you both.

Ultimately I advise you to BE YOURSELF!

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RE: Edge Play! - 10/26/2005 4:12:52 PM

fastlane

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MzBoots, very good advice here.
Well spoken, concise and too the point.

Kevin

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: Edge Play! - 10/31/2005 11:28:22 PM

MistressSonya

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/17/2005
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I find that putting the collar on will make me snap into Mistress Mode.. once I snap that collar on.. he is my sub. Also you have to realize that you may never be able to push him that hard. I see that you are still in training, you may be able to push him harder after you have played for awhile longer, most people don't start out doing needle play.. they work up to it.
Mistress Sonya

< Message edited by MistressSonya -- 10/31/2005 11:33:05 PM >

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RE: Edge Play! - 11/1/2005 6:12:57 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 361
Joined: 9/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSonya

... most people don't start out doing needle play.. they work up to it.

Or not. lol I never apologise for my interests....or my non-interests. You have a yummy canvas to work on to find your own path, Mistress_Jan. (Excuse the awful mixed metaphor - I'm tired.) Enjoy your journey. I'm sure he's thrilled to be along for the ride.

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"Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths." - Joseph Campbell

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RE: Edge Play! - 11/1/2005 9:35:07 PM

Mistressneedsubs

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/31/2005
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Greetings too all who responded:

Every single post was read by this Mistress. I am pleased with what was said. Someone suggested having another top around. We have a trainer now who is about an hour away from us. We go down to her Dungeon every other weekend.
I am learning so much about the things I have been doing wrong. She holds me accountable for it. That helps push me a bit.
I am feeling better about a lot of the things I was relutant to do.
Once again, thanks for the comments. They were all appreciated.

Respectfully,

Mistress_Jan

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