Curious about polyrelationship

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Curious about polyrelationship - 7/9/2005 12:41:47 PM

MsChocolateSwirl

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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I am a Female Dominant from Arkansas,, I have been active in the lifestyle 8yrs, active in 3 of my local groups <yes Arkansas is coming along as far as a lifestyle community is concerned or else they were hiding and I didnt know where... smile> My question is about poly relationships...

poly relationships where the subs/slaves are livein.. I have read and heard about male doms having more than one sub in their household but I hear less about female dominants having more than one sub living in the household. Is this that uncommon?

I have one collared sub that has spent an extended time in my home, who will be able to finally relocate in the upcoming months... My second potential sub is also long distance and due to the circumstance of his job is not able to relocate at this time, we are meeting for the first time this month and at this time because we have yet to meet and spend together there is no possible way to know if the relationship will grow,, even though both of us feel it will,, I am realistic and so is he, after this realtime meeting, a lot will be discussed on a continual basis... My question regarding this is,, has anyone had any experience in this dynamic, having two male subs in the home,,, I am not talking about 24/7 D/s because 24/7 in my opinion and for me means simply living in the same household and/or being owned by that person all the time, not actively swinging a flogger or dressed to the nines in leather all the time or sub being naked and on his knees all the time, well yeah maybe the latter to a point lol ... my curiousity is about whether anyone has any experience in this area as far as the actual living, dynamics in the household, problems that come up, ways of keeping communication open with two, etc.

Looking forward to responses, opinions, views and very anxious because of a new meeting <grin> MsChocolateSwirl****

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RE: Curious about polyrelationship - 7/12/2005 12:29:26 AM

MsPurrmeow

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Joined: 10/30/2004
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I guess I'm not sure what your question really is, but I thought I'd respond anyway. I have lived in a polyandrous home (I am the only woman with two men) for over a decade. We've also had other male live-ins for periods of time over the years. The communication thing is complicated, and energy-consuming in the beginning. The good part is that if the channels are created properly, it can last years and years.

Let no one keep secrets, and no one tells lies, not even little ones. Share all information right down to sore toes or daydreams. Keep everything out in the open. Even if standard logistical things like money and doctor appointments do not overlap, keep the information out there so that everyone can take care of everyone else. Know each persons strengths and weaknesses. Don't fall for the word "jealousy", it's not an emotion, it's only a neon sign indicating that someone is not talking enough.

There is a lot of information online to find about fostering communication skills in a poly living situation. There are even discussion groups based on communal/poly/BDSM situations. If I can help at all, feel free to contact me. I can direct you to some discussion groups or websites.

and yes, polyandry is a lot less common than the standard polygyny (multiple women, one man) situations that so many chauvinistic religions created comfort zones for. It's not rare by any means, though. Don't feel alone.

(in reply to MsChocolateSwirl)

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RE: Curious about polyrelationship - 7/12/2005 6:28:19 AM

MsChocolateSwirl

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Thank you MsPurrmeow for your response,,, sorry if my questions or curiousity was not clear enough,, but you answered exactly some of the questions I have... and thanks also for the offer to refer me to groups and websites...also learned two variations of the word poly that I was not aware of,,, polyandry and polygyny... MsChocolateSwirl****

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RE: Curious about polyrelationship - 7/12/2005 7:19:09 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 684
Joined: 5/19/2005
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Hello There,
I don't live as a Domme, but rather as a sub. I thought I'd write to give you a contact that will have a huge wealth of information and advice for you. There's a group in Washington DC called Black Rose. The founder of this group is Jack. He actually has had multiple live in slaves (I think currently 4) and does workshops on leather families. You can E-Mail him at [email protected]. He's a wonderfully open Master and would be able to help you more than anyone I know.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

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RE: Curious about polyrelationship - 7/12/2005 8:05:40 AM

JerryInTampa

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Joined: 2/19/2004
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Apologies if I'm answering where not asked, but I'm not sure I see a signifigant difference based on the genders invovled.

Having lived in a (closed)poly triad, and huting for one now, I have to second the "communicate" response. Certainly this is always a priority in relationships, but more-so in poly relationships. It's also very important to establish and understand what the relationships and expectations are. Who needs how much attention, is it open or closed, for all or for some, etc... and to keep re-enforcing that communication.

It's actually not uncommon for female tops to keep a stable of playmates. The largest group in BDSM seems to be male subs (I can think of a dozen that have propositioned us in the past couple months, and we are expressly not interested in such), so the temtation for poly is even stronger, if perhaps less hard-wired.

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RE: Curious about polyrelationship - 7/16/2005 10:59:30 AM

GoddessKatrina2u

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Well I can speak from My experiences only!
I do have a poly environment.I have a sub hub (of 4 yrs) and a 24/7 slave ( I might add I met here on collarme 2+ yrs ago)and I am currently interviewing to add to MY stable
specifically seeking TPE in a potential slave... mind, body & soul!

I have been seeking a sensual slave as well one that will enjoy MY control over their orgasms as much as I do! There is little I adore more than a submissive/slave that knows their place!
I not a game player but, I am also a realist, my pet is not naked and collared 24/7.
I dont wear "Leather playwear" 24/7 so many have this "vision" of how "their scene" will be and life is not like that reality is REALity

We have not found an environment that is totally comforatable and accepting of this lifestyle. so it is kept some what closeted.
Are they all sexually active with Me? Not unless I desire it. My room is shared with My alpha sub ( husband), but if I desire the precense of boi(24/7 slave) in My bed.. I beckon him and hub sleeps in the other room.
boi is a part of MY family, My family (adult child and parents) view boi as a dedicated roomie. They have all been very accepting of him!
Hope My past experiences have helped a bit!

Love Luck and Licorice Whips!
GK

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RE: Curious about polyrelationship - 7/16/2005 4:35:51 PM

lonewolf05

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Joined: 6/21/2005
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having met Ms Katrina i can vouch for Her. She is a fine Lady, and is 100% honest!

i had 2 nice quiet days with Her.....

wolf

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"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

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