Curious

Join Our Community

As the Collar Turns:

Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home Login Event Calendars Search

Curious

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> Curious

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Curious - 9/14/2005 9:59:53 AM

LadyofLight

Posts: 60
Status: offline

as to how many of the females that identify as a Domme more so than a sub would desire in their hearts /minds to find a Dom and would seriously consider a relationship where they would become a sub/slave to a particularly impressive man that could control them? I am finding myself in such a situation...and seriously considering letting someone have control of me.
There would be no switching.
I wonder would I miss topping a sub male?
I have been sexually dominant of my last relationship and my profile states as such yet I wonder..............since i still consider myself emotionally submissive.
I have never let anyone have control of me before in a sexual situation or even emotionally for a long time but in some ways my ex sub was in charge,he topped from the bottom b/c I was new and didn't know aNY BETTER.LOL.

_____________________________

Life is all about ass:
you're either covering it,
laughing it off,
kicking it,
kissing it,
busting it,
trying to get a piece of it,
or behaving like one.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Curious - 9/14/2005 10:26:36 PM

ShadeDiva

Posts: 999
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

Well I in truth am far more dominant than anythng else.

However Ray does not switch. I think I'd have a hard time having someone dominant me that I've dominanted. It's so base with me to take control I honestly don't think they'd ever get a chance to dominate me once they submitted, I don;t think my dominant side would ever accept a submissive stance.

So BDSM poly is pretty much what seems obvious we'll be at some point, since this side demands to be expressed. lol.

I'm determined to do it all damn it. LOL!

_____________________________

My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to LadyofLight)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Curious - 9/15/2005 10:04:08 AM

LadyofLight

Posts: 60
Status: offline

I Thought about this recently when corresponding w/ a Dom but pretty much when they want to know about sex straight off and not getting to know me as a person,well............I'll spare y'all the thought.

I doubt I could be topped by someone that was generally submissive to me to begin w/.
I don't think the dynamic would be there.

Right about now I am about as aggrevated w/ sub males as Dom's,lol.

Thanks for your input tho.

_____________________________

Life is all about ass:
you're either covering it,
laughing it off,
kicking it,
kissing it,
busting it,
trying to get a piece of it,
or behaving like one.

(in reply to ShadeDiva)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Curious - 9/15/2005 4:31:38 PM

Rubyb

Posts: 71
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: California
Status: offline

No switching?

Not even a little bit.

Okay, I'd miss that a lot!

All the best as you ponder this big decision.

_____________________________

Ruby Bloodstone
Author and fan of erotic vampire fiction.
Lifemate and pet to T, Nathaniel's Miss

Ruby's portfolio at writing.com:
http://Writing.Com/authors/rubyb

(in reply to LadyofLight)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Curious - 9/15/2005 9:23:22 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 495
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

I have been a Domme for a number of years though recently I have accepted the title of Switch somewhat reluctantly. I still have the tendency to lean towards Domme...ESPECIALLY when I meet a wanna be Dom that starts with "on your knees" & could care less about me as a person. They seem to meet my inner Domina rather quickly.
HOWEVER, having been in a long term relationship with a Dom man that while encouraging my inner Domme, would have none of it personally; I discovered that allowing myself to submit to him actually improved many parts of my life that I would probably have not looked at on my own. In many ways I think that the Domme I am today is because of his encouragement. At the time I was with him I had never heard the word Switch used (other than switch for my heiney). I had many outlets for this energy through my job. I was fortunate enough to have extra guidence through my relationship in releasing my Domme energy in good ways.

I think that there is nothing wrong with submitting to one & only one. If this meant never being a Top again I think that the decision to commit might be more difficult. I think that BDSM as well as relationships are a journey without a map. You are never quite sure where you're going to end up & have to take each day at a time. Just remember that submission is a GIFT, anyone that is not worthy of such a thing because they do not make the effort to improve themselves or help you to learn & improve yourself is probably not worth your time. I have been disappointed more than once by online Dom's that are pretending. Pretending to have experience that they do not posess in life or flat out lying about who & what they really are inside. If someone can't be honest with themselves they probably aren't going to be honest with you & in a D/s relationship as well as any other it's usually fatal.

Be honest with yourself about what you desire & don't settle for less!!!

(in reply to LadyofLight)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Curious - 9/16/2005 4:29:38 AM

LadyofLight

Posts: 60
Status: offline

Thank You.
I seem to forget it is indeed a journey and get discouraged.

_____________________________

Life is all about ass:
you're either covering it,
laughing it off,
kicking it,
kissing it,
busting it,
trying to get a piece of it,
or behaving like one.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Curious - 10/19/2005 8:01:00 AM

MasterMagnus321

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

I do not think I can apreciate the reality of the sub, and the finer requirements/disciplines/practices of being a Dom unless I try both sides; I am very new to this, and have never been a sub yet, though I am VERY anxious.

(in reply to LadyofLight)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Curious - 10/19/2005 1:05:46 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 495
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

The Dom I speak of was an alpha male in every sense of the word. I think that my strength as a Domme personality was one of the reasons we worked so well in harmony. I could point out business issues that could be fatal where others were too afraid to even bring a subject up. He had enough respect for me & who I was to understand that pointing out an issue was not a direct challenge as it might have appeared coming from a male or employee. He in the reverse was not afraid of hurting my feelings when providing critique or criticism because he knew how to bring me down a peg without doing any harm to my heart or ego.
From what I have seen this is not an easy arrangement to find for someone that is a dominant personality. I think that my energy to have a sub was channeled into my job as having 30 men answer to you is an adventure all to itself. Not sure how well I would have faired without this outlet.

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 10/19/2005 1:08:28 PM >

(in reply to theRose4U)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Curious - 10/19/2005 2:46:28 PM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

Being married to naturally dominant, agressive, demanding alpha male - and being dominant and agressive myself...... one would think it would be sort of hell marriage. But its not. We get along really fine (with ocasional stormy exceptions) and share strong bond of love and respect.
Sometimes for a short periods I enjoy switching with him, but the question of being dominant with all others was never an issue. My wishes are being fulfilled totally and I wouldnt settle for less.

Actually, I never had any doubts about this relationship and I would never get involved in relationship if I felt something would be missing from my life because of it. But I am too old to compromise anymore.......

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to theRose4U)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Curious - 10/19/2005 9:32:57 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 633
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

as to how many of the females that identify as a Domme more so than a sub would desire in their hearts /minds to find a Dom and would seriously consider a relationship where they would become a sub/slave to a particularly impressive man that could control them? I am finding myself in such a situation...and seriously considering letting someone have control of me.
There would be no switching.

Why would there be no switching?

I'm in a relationship where I am slave to one particularly impressive (to me) man who can and does control me. However, He knows that to stifle my dominant side (which really is my more dominant side) would take away a big part of what makes me, me. So I get to indulge that side with others, and I serve Him as well.

_____________________________

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to LadyofLight)

Profile

Post #: 10