Can you be in love?

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Can you be in love? - 6/28/2005 9:38:02 AM

ShiftedJewel

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Do you love your submissive(s)? Are you "in love" with them? What part does love or being in love play in a/your poly home?

Jewel

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RE: Can you be in love? - 6/28/2005 1:06:55 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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I can be in love with someone, no matter what type of intimate relationship it is.

Being in love for me is a state of being, but it has little to do with what makes a relationship work long term and it's not the foundation of being together.

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RE: Can you be in love? - 6/28/2005 9:00:41 PM

SubBlue

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That is how I found that poly can exist in my life to begin with.
I found that I still love people in my past, though I can't be with them for various reasons, I still love them.

Fast Foward to now...
I am not currently in a full poly relationship, but M and I have poly/swinger tendancies and because of lack of people around in our small town we can't fully act on most of them. He feels he can be with other people and still love me and them, and I have felt that way for a long time.
As there are levels of trust in a relationship, there are levels of love and companionship.

so.. in short... yes, I can be in love more then one person.

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RE: Can you be in love? - 6/28/2005 10:49:01 PM

domtimothy46176

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

I can be in love with someone, no matter what type of intimate relationship it is.

Being in love for me is a state of being, but it has little to do with what makes a relationship work long term and it's not the foundation of being together.

Ditto

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RE: Can you be in love? - 6/29/2005 1:46:04 AM

Akinta

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As stated, there's many levels of loving. I'd say almost anyone can love another like a brother or sister, and quite often people slip into these situations without noticing. But what makes someone "poly"? Understanding that love, welcoming it.. desiring it?

There's a lot of things I could say her personally, but it would just be a lot of words to read. I fully believe in poly relationships, and think we humans were more designed around that aspect of loving more than one and keeping a balance.

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RE: Can you be in love? - 6/29/2005 7:22:32 AM

shay

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I can say without a bit of doubt that I can be and do love many people in my life. I love each at a different level and believe I affect their lives in different ways just as they affect mine.

So far as being IN love, I'm not currently now IN love, nor do i want a Master or Mistress to be IN love with me. It confuses the issues. HOWEVER, I DO want them TO love me, TO need me, TO want me around. I dont want put on a pedestal. I just want what everyone wants, to be loved.

I have heard so many cases of Masters and slaves being happy UNTIL the wedding ring goes on. I dont want that. I guess in many respects a collar means more to me than any wedding ring could or has.

I love my friends, love my family, love the lifestyle and those I interact with. Yes I love and I want to be loved. I want to love and be loved by Males and Females.

(I term "IN love" as being: I would give you the moon, I would do anything for you. That sort of thing. Being IN love is temporary, it tends to wear off in time but loving can last a lifetime.)

Just my opinion.
shay

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RE: Can you be in love? - 7/8/2005 12:27:22 AM

lonewolf05

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i guess......just a shot in the dark here.

with the way, "I" look at things in life, i may, at times, say, yeah i would WANT that.
but in cold harsh reality? i have an issue with it. not a good issue.

i am too inside myself, too cynical, too clinical, too emotionally cold to be able to.

love is not in my best interests.

the wolf

< Message edited by lonewolf05 -- 7/8/2005 12:28:53 AM >

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RE: Can you be in love? - 7/10/2005 6:39:00 AM

plantlady64

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Hello There,
I feel that in any relationship Dom or sub there has to be some bond. To trust your body to someone you must first trust your heart and mind to their way of living. To me this bond is love.
I have friends I play with that I love in one way, but my Master holds my heart firmly in both his hands. Our hearts have many rooms & everyone we care about should occupy one of them.
I think you share the gift of love with each person in your life vanilla or BDSM that you open your heart and mind to. Love has many different levels. If you look at your capacity to love like an onion, theres one center and then many different layers. Only one is in the center but the others are all part of the same thing, just a little furthur out.
Love is a joyus thing that brings contentment and peace to your spirit. If you feel you glow in someones affections and feel joy while you're with them this is love.
My Master also has more than one love, but as I said He holds me at the very center peice of his Onion and I have him in the center of mine too. We have others that are equally important in our leather family that are in the other layers and it's not a bad thing.
I think the key is all of your Master's loved ones should belong in all members of the family's hearts just like love between siblings is shared with a parent. There's usually one favorite, but all are treated equally. All members of your family should have compassion & take care of each other. Some of the other subs he has can accept they are not the center and still find being part of the whole a good thing, then there's others who are greedy that want him all to themselves. There are a lot of subs who can and can't accept if they are not his #1 and they end up being excused. I personally would still be content if I was number 10 with my Master as long as we still had the same time and attention between us. For me it's not about being number one as much as it's being able to glow under my Master when he shines.
sub suzanne

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RE: Can you be in love? - 7/12/2005 8:26:48 AM

JerryInTampa

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I love a lot of people. But love is not sufficient for a D/s relationship.

I can imagine that I could be in a D/s relationship without loving my partner, but I'm not sure how I could have a partner that would interest me that I would not love. I've never really found love compartmentalized to "love as a friend" or some other way, though I can love without attraction (but would not want a sub I was unattracted to).

So, love is not what makes a relationship for me, but (IME) anyone I would choose a relationship with I will love over time.

Jerry

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RE: Can you be in love? - 7/13/2005 8:43:35 PM

ceasarx

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I think that love can be shared with a group of people if they all share common bonds, trust and respect. I have had several relationships that involved myself and two submissives and I can say i loved them all. To this day if any of them needed me I would do what ever I could for them and I will always be there for them no matter what.
I feel that if you share any kind of long term and intimate relatioship with someone then the feeling of love will soon be there

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RE: Can you be in love? - 7/13/2005 11:58:14 PM

MsPurrmeow

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Love is what it's all about. I bring people that I choose to "love" into my life forever. Regardless of where they get their mail, they are "loved." Yes, I love my submissives, otherwise I would not allow them into my heart and mind, into my passions and desires. I trust very precious few people in the world into my heart and my mind. At the point where I know I can trust them is the point that I know I can love them, regardless of whether that is reciprocal.

I'm capable of playing on occasion with people without love, but that is rare, and taxing on me emotionally. In order to play with the deeper psyche and power connection, they need to be on the inside of that wall between myself and the outside world. When it comes to someone who is a part of my poly family, they have most definitely made it into the "love" category. If I don't love them or cannot love them, they wouldn't be here.

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RE: Can you be in love? - 7/17/2005 5:35:30 PM

slavedesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

Do you love your submissive(s)? Are you "in love" with them? What part does love or being in love play in a/your poly home?

Jewel

a dom once told me love ruins a M/s relationship....i wonder what he'd say about poly D/s M/s?

i was told yesterday by an old chat friend....... Love is Hard. Possession is Worse.

i hope to find out what SHE meant by that.

~~shy

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