Bry Klashaan a look at D/s

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Bry Klashaan a look at D/s

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Bry Klashaan a look at D/s

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Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/17/2006 4:25:47 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 31
Joined: 12/7/2005
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Greetings all. First I would like to applaud the community. All of you seem very supportive and informative. That said, beware Greeks bearing gifts, I am working on a book that I would greatly appreciate feedback… good, bad, or ugly on. I have excerpts posted here http://www.atlantissagas.org/BryKlashaan.html please post.

Thank you all
Loki

Post #: 1

RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/17/2006 4:30:11 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 1886
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needs a dictionary in the worst way.

Ron

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RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/17/2006 4:37:07 PM

Wulfchyld

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Joined: 12/7/2005
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There is a dictionary on the main site… Unfortunately I haven't updated it of yet. Sorry.

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RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/17/2006 4:44:22 PM

mistoferin

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Wow...when you said excerpts I kind of thought you meant "small" snippets. It looks very indepth and will take some time but interesting enough at first glance that I will be going back to check it out.

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RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/17/2006 5:06:53 PM

BitaTruble

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Like Mistofern said, it's look very interesting. I read only the first several pages, but it holds my interest enough to want to read the rest.

Celeste

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RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/19/2006 4:18:07 PM

Wulfchyld

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Joined: 12/7/2005
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Thank you all so much. I was hopeful this would be the best community to post with, thus far it has been so.

Loki

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Post #: 6

RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/19/2006 6:14:50 PM

ehlovindom

Posts: 167
Joined: 1/23/2004
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If you could replace the yellowish font and black background with something easier on the eyes, it would be a lot better. Black backrounds are the worse for reading text. Having said that, the linked written pages are much easier on the eyes although the font is a bit small but easily changed with browser options. As for the text, it is extremely in-depth and will most probably be of great interest to those who enjoy that aspect of the lifestyle.

< Message edited by ehlovindom -- 2/19/2006 6:18:20 PM >

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RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/19/2006 6:56:48 PM

Wulfchyld

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Corrected. Thank you ehlovindom.

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RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/19/2006 7:07:28 PM

BitaTruble

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Having now read through a good portion of what you so far, all I can say is that I hope you continue the work in progress. It's fascinating and becomes addictive. Kudo's on the job so far. I've put this one into my favorite places so I can go back and reread at my leisure.

Celeste

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I wasn't there. I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. I wanna lawyer!

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RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/23/2006 7:38:07 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 31
Joined: 12/7/2005
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Thank you all for your support. It is near publisher time and i have built a site for people interested in my book to come learn a little more http://klashaan.bravehost.com thats better.

< Message edited by Wulfchyld -- 2/23/2006 8:12:10 PM >

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Post #: 10

RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/23/2006 7:44:19 PM

slavejali

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I've read a little bit and liked what I've seen so far. Good luck with publishing!

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Post #: 11

RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/23/2006 9:12:27 PM

ProtagonistLily

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quote:

needs a dictionary in the worst way.

Ron

And a grammar and spell-checker as well.

Kassie

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RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/23/2006 9:22:41 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1199
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld
I am working on a book that I would greatly appreciate feedback… good, bad, or ugly on.

OK, so here are my thoughts.

1) I am all about the protocol. I enjoy the detail and the effort. Thanks much for sharing.

2) I found the "unusual" language distracting. I am not sure of its intent. In my mind there are those that use language as a gimmick, such as John Norman and his Gorean words, and those who use language as the integral part of the story, such as J.R.R. Tolkien or Neal Stephenson. Unfortunately, for me, this has much more a feel of the former.

Languages evolve. They are formed by a history (the evolution of a culture), and are not just a English-Whatever translation book.

I would highly recommend you read some of Tolkiens works on the Elvish language and try to bring some of that to your use of Lantion.

Or perhaps take a step back and develop this idea a bit more: "A note on pronunciation in the Lantion language, which is the language all others stem from, you will see unfamiliar words that are of the Lantion language."

If this statement is true, I imagine there would be a lot more cognates than we actualy find. (A quick scan of your dictionay turned up "Tempus".) Languages tend to grow as their culture's history does, so it is unlikely that all those words would just vanish. Instead, perhaps you could work your language as a simplified root of other languages...fewer letters...no future tense...no verb conjugation. It would make for an interesting experiment...

You have an ambitious project on your hands...good luck with it!

Taggard

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RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/24/2006 7:00:46 AM

magdelina

Posts: 9
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i offer greetings. the first site was wonderful, and i read much of it. i tried to go to the second site,and could not get past the front page. i beg to know how to rectify, as i am very engrossed all ready. i thank You for Your condsideration.

magdelina

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Post #: 14

RE: Bry Klashaan a look at D/s - 2/24/2006 7:02:14 AM

magdelina

Posts: 9
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oh dear, mercy, when is this girl going to remember to edit? oy, consideration.

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Post #: 15

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