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Bottoms up? - 11/4/2004 10:15:28 AM

MsCameron

Posts: 130
Joined: 10/14/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

Hello,

I first entered the lifestyle as a submissive or rather what I thought was a submissive. In looking back, I know now that I confused the eroticism of bottoming with submission. In time and with more then a little confusion, I started switching. Still, it didn't feel right and eventually I left the bottoming/submission altogther.

At that point, I felt like I was finally home. I searched for and found a male submissive who is a very good match for me... and he has been with me for well over 3 years now.

I've never given any thought to bottoming to anyone since.

Well, until now.

I'm intrigued by a male Dominant and would just love to bottom to him. I only know him by the posts he writes but there's something that resonates with me

I guess I never expected to want to go there again and it's thrown me somewhat. No, I do not doubt my dominance nor am I unhappy with any of the choices I've made. Nor do I think there is anything wrong with dominants bottoming.

My question is.. do you ever have a time where you'd like to just get down and dirty with someone that is not your chosen orientation? (hoping that made sense)

MsC

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RE: Bottoms up? - 11/7/2004 5:29:58 AM

Whipenrod

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

Dear Ms. Cameron

I see no one has responded. This is a tough call, as few Doms/Dommes will want to admit they have a submissive side (it has to do with authority)

I currently session a Dom (he is in sub mode when we play). He submits only to me. The Bottom line?
I don't think anyone is 100%. Some need it regularly--some once in a while, and some--as you have found--want it with the one person they are willing to submit to. As you have not met this person yet (you seem to have indicated) I caution you to try and keep from investing him with a mantle made of your own fantasies. He could turn out to be a total dork.

I do find as a Dominant, that the role is 'in the head' and 'sensation deprived' to a certain extent. If one is in charge--they are 'in the head'--some things are missed emotionally. 'Sensation deprived' because the deep and satisfying sensations of BDSM torture are not an option for one who has chosen the Dom route.

One gives up a lot when they take control---and one gives up a lot when they give control away. That's just the way it is. Somewhere in there is each person's happiness.

--Lady Whipenrod

_____________________________

"I can resist everything except temptation."
--Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan

(in reply to MsCameron)

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RE: Bottoms up? - 11/7/2004 6:07:23 AM

MsGothUk

Posts: 25
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: Nw London/UK
Status: offline

quote:

My question is.. do you ever have a time where you'd like to just get down and dirty with someone that is not your chosen orientation? (hoping that made sense)

MsC

who doesnt? there are so many areas of grey in anything & everything we do. If I date someone, its more likely to be with another dominant person, I dont bottom/ sub, but it makes everything much more fun!

(in reply to MsCameron)

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RE: Bottoms up? - 11/7/2004 6:51:06 AM

Sylverdawn

Posts: 234
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCameron

Hello,

I first entered the lifestyle as a submissive or rather what I thought was a submissive. In looking back, I know now that I confused the eroticism of bottoming with submission. In time and with more then a little confusion, I started switching. Still, it didn't feel right and eventually I left the bottoming/submission altogther.
At that point, I felt like I was finally home.
I've never given any thought to bottoming to anyone since.
I guess I never expected to want to go there again and it's thrown me somewhat.
My question is.. do you ever have a time where you'd like to just get down and dirty with someone that is not your chosen orientation? (hoping that made sense)
MsC

Your story is not unsimilar to mine.. I married the intriguing TOP/Master.. and am content in that DD relationship ... We actually talked about this just a couple of days ago.

It has to do with intent... no act in itself is inherently d or s.. its the intent behind the action that invests it with layers of meaning. There is nothing wrong with the eroticism of play..sensation is infact simply that .. a positive or negative .. I would ask myself.. am I craving the act of submission/service, intrigued by an attractive man, or craving thesensations/erotic encounter.

For me there are one or two Dominants I have met that I think goddang.. sexy .. but their sort of play doesnt really flip my switch.. one local Dom.. interesting personality.. and his play intrigues me .. but its the sensation that experience I want ..not calling him Master. getting him his drinks.. lickin his boots..shudders... bleck.. cooking his dinner.. washin his drawers.. thanks but no thanks.. I have no interest in surrendering power to him... the only interest is the aderline rush his play invokes.. and for me that isnt a problem.. for him it might be..lol..

Sex is simply SEX... it can mean getting your rocks off.. or it can be making love.. that choice is yours..

I hope that helps.

On another note.. submissives have a really hard time seperating the experience from the submission.. so I would discuss it with your partner and help him understand what it is and what it isnt to add to his comfort level and so it doesnt stress your relationship with him.

< Message edited by Sylverdawn -- 11/7/2004 6:53:27 AM >

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"Yes, we women are inventive," she said. "Be careful. When you find your ideal, she might easily treat you more cruelly than you like."

(in reply to MsCameron)

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