A switch's dom drop

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A switch's dom drop - 2/26/2006 6:50:29 PM

dominmd

Posts: 434
Joined: 6/27/2005
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Ok, it has been a long time since my last meaningful post. And I have a question that is now coming to light in my head.

How do the other switch's here deal with dom drop? I have experienced this before, but not as strong. I am a sensual dom, so my play is more sensory, conversational, and for the most part only slightly visits a soft SM role like light flogging and spanking. It would be easier to understand if you saw me play but...........

A little background on this episode. I was at a play party this past weekend. I topped a very wonderful sub for almost the entire 5 hours of play time and even a little longer since we stayed later than most others. Four hours were play time and the rest was aftercare. Much of the time was spent with me doing massage and sensory play for the first scene. The second scene was shorter but more intense. Our aftercare was spent in each other's arms talking cuddling and at a point was watching another scene at the end of the night.

So, my mind was racing when I got home at about 3am Sunday morning ( I live 5 minutes from the play party location). I know for a fact I was in dom space and was having a real endorphine dump that lasted since the beginning at 9pm Saturday night. When I awoke this morning (sunday) I felt an very perceptable almost physical emptiness that seemed to border almost on the spiritual side of consciousness. It has been the strongest reaction I have ever had since I was introduced to bdsm when I was 18. I have felt distracted, less and less so as the day has worn on.

And this feeling is completely different from the subspace and sub drop I have experienced to date. So, since this is a new feeling for me, I was wondering the following:

Has anyone else felt this way after topping a bottom?
Does anyone feel the difference between the two types of drops I have mentioned?
And, how do you deal as individuals with these emotions?

Granted I know there has been discussion about domdrop and subdrop, but as a switch it seems more complex since we as swtiches experience both extremes of emotion. I am sure we did enough aftercare because I felt just as content and warm in her arms as she was in mine. It was a wonderful and fullfilling night, one which I would love to experience again. I guess this is just a more spiritual and deeper side of me that I just discovered.

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RE: A switch's dom drop - 2/26/2006 7:33:55 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 633
Joined: 9/14/2005
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quote:

Has anyone else felt this way after topping a bottom?

'

Nope

quote:

Does anyone feel the difference between the two types of drops I have mentioned? And, how do you deal as individuals with these emotions?

I've never experienced what others describe as sub drop OR dom drop in any form whatsoever.

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RE: A switch's dom drop - 2/27/2006 5:13:54 AM

Lashra

Posts: 43
Joined: 2/9/2006
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Was is drop or was it that this particular woman got to you deeper than any other has? That sudden endorphin drop can be staggering, though I've never experienced it. But it almost sounds to me that there's more to it then just that.

Lashra

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RE: A switch's dom drop - 2/27/2006 11:32:38 AM

dominmd

Posts: 434
Joined: 6/27/2005
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Well I do play intensely as it was pointed out to me today when talking to a close friend. And that comment has been nothing new within the group I frequent. It is a possibility that she got to me more deeply, and to be truthful I had not considered this. I did feel the endorphine drop and had experienced it before both as a sub and a top. This time was just......different. It could also be that we played almost non-stop through the entire play party which is 5 hours. I have never played that long for the intensity level I was at, or the level I brought her to. So this may contribute to the whole situation.

I have spoken with the sub by email today, and she seems very happy and wishes to play again next month and meet at a munch this coming Wednesday. I feel much better today than I did yesterday especially since the O so great memories wash through my mind every few minutes.

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RE: A switch's dom drop - 2/27/2006 12:32:22 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Yup, I get it, and it somehow always surprises me.

I deal by reconnecting with the bottom, by taking care of myself, by trying to avoid stressful situations and just relaxing through it.

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RE: A switch's dom drop - 2/27/2006 5:49:23 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 604
Joined: 10/8/2005
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Yes, though it is much milder than many describe. I don't feel physically ill, but emotionally I experience it differently.

After bottoming I get more of needy or lonely feeling. I want the top to get with me, let me know all is well, connect. If this does not happen, I don't fall apart or anything - but I catch myself impatiently checking email or waiting for the phone or initialting that contact myself. I also tend to get a little preoccupied with soreness or marks, but in a disconnected sort of "hmm, that is interesting" kind of way. As if it happened to someone else.

After topping it is more of an empty let-down feeling plus some anxiety over his/her physical or emotional state. I deal with it by connecting with the bottom, reflecting, getting feedback, etc. Once in a while I have little guilt depending on the situation. Sometimes I get impatient with myself and the responsibility I feel as I tend to overdo it. I also remind myself that just because I played with someone, I am not automatically and immediately involved with any and all "problems areas" of his/her life. (Somehow if they are having a little emotional emptiness or needing reassurance also, it can evolve into a "here is all the stressful things in my life" conversation.)

I keep busy, keep to my routine, continue with life, try to relax. I also will use any excuse to indulge in a comfort-vice like lazy time, avoiding chores, or sinfully delicious foods.

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RE: A switch's dom drop - 2/28/2006 6:27:52 PM

dominmd

Posts: 434
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Mmmmmmmmmm food

I feel way better now. Just a new experience for me. I went back to concentrating on making new paintball equipment last night. Have a munch tomorrow and I get to go back to work as well.

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