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A stupid question - 2/26/2005 10:47:13 AM

GreyStorm

Posts: 423
Joined: 1/26/2005
From: Cheeseheadland
Status: offline

How can a switch who likes to deal punishments, likes to call her submissives names, likes to humiliate her boys, not want to have the same done to her?

I know and understand we all have limits but if you deal it out, why can't you take it? I never deal anything to my submissives that I wouldn't be willing to endure myself.

Can someone explain this to me better?

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RE: A stupid question - 2/26/2005 11:29:35 AM

MadameBette

Posts: 62
Joined: 9/8/2004
From: Long Island, NY
Status: offline

The quick answer:

We don’t all have to same turn-ons.
What my sub likes, may not be what I like when I bottom, but that doesn’t prevent me from giving him what’s enjoyable to him, as long as I’m comfortable with it and want to do it, too.

~ Bette

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RE: A stupid question - 3/2/2005 9:11:59 PM

Chilli

Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

Its not a stupid question, and it would be reasonable to suggest that if someone can *give it* they can *take it* too...

but no apparently.

We are all wired differently I guess. Nice thread.

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RE: A stupid question - 3/2/2005 9:34:46 PM

NoPinkBalloons

Posts: 125
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline

Perhaps it's not a matter of *can't* take it, but rather has no interest in it?

One of my partners, as an example, is a great impact top. He enjoys beating me and I enjoy it when he beats me. When he bottoms, though, he has no interest in percussion play. He's all about CBT/nipple torture when he's in that frame of mine, and that's just fine with me since I enjoy topping those kinds of scenes.

Just because he doesn't have an interest in being beaten doesn't mean he "can't take it". It simply means that it doesn't push any of his buttons. Since we don't have a d/s dynamic, we see no point in "subimtting" to things that we're not both getting some form of enjoyment out of.

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A hard-on does NOT count as personal growth

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RE: A stupid question - 4/11/2005 3:03:04 PM

Sweeticing

Posts: 158
Joined: 12/30/2004
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I am that way all around I am not the same submissive as I am domme. Example: as a domme im stricked, hard,creatively evil i have been called.I like lots of torture with spankings, canes,floggins,tight bondage,I expect complete control. anyhow you get the point as a submissive im the willful sub. very playful,I still like spankings floggers bondage fire and ice play just tones down. Im more into being pampered and spoiled the punishment would be not pleasing my dom. I think it would be kinda hard to be a swtich and be expected to like and do the same things in two diffrent roles.I think it would result in a sub trying to top from the bottom

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RE: A stupid question - 4/19/2005 1:43:32 AM

sfogarty

Posts: 8
Joined: 3/15/2005
From: Houston
Status: offline

Okay, first off: I don't do things that people just 'endure', on either side. I want there to be some enjoyment to it.

Now, that said: I don't bottom to the things I do when topping. I'm not that dominant, just sadistic, and what I like as a top I wouldn't take as a bottom. I like my bottoms to be off-center, uncertain, and always on that edge of 'I'm not quite sure I enjoy this.' It's a kind of... dangling, where I'm not supporting them quite enough to be comfortable.

When I bottom, I can't handle being off-center and confused. At least not in the way that I like to make people... I need to trust and rely on my top. They become the center, and they have to hold it or I'm going to fall out and things won't go very well. It's a different headspace. What I need as a bottom isn't what feeds me as a top.

(needless to say, I bottom a HELL of a lot more than I top.)

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RE: A stupid question - 4/21/2005 8:18:38 AM

ajewl

Posts: 16
Joined: 4/20/2005
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GreyStorm...
I do not believe that there are any stupid questions in life...only the ones that are not asked...."Not willing to endure myself"...Umm, in my mindset, that would imply that the couple is not doing something with mutual respect and pleasure. I don't get involved in anything that is not for mutual pleasure. What would be the purpose of things? I admit to being slightly sadistic, but if my partner isn't having fun then I am not either.

The difference for me is that, when I am the top...my partner trust me to be in control...and vice versa when I am the bottom. I also know what works for my partner is not going to work for me...I personally enjoy the dynamics of being a switch much more, for me it is the best of both worlds. For this switch, having different likes/interest, is the added benefits to a relationship...if I am with someone who is alot like me, then I will get bored.

Best Wishes...

(in reply to sfogarty)

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